wher am i

its been pretty fun orbiting around fan discussions for WHA esp watching ppl try to reinterpret Qifrey's Mysterious Problem for modern aus. im sitting here thinking this is like, quite possibly THE most blatant allegory for a cptsd+OCD+dissociative amnesia combo in manga ive seen yet. workaholic classical art teacher and foster parent who is so haunted by what he doesnt remember that he's convinced if he's touched gently by someone he trusts and who loves him for more than the allotted 3 seconds (it HAS to be 3) he will quite literally die on the spot (he'll have a massive panic attack and cry literally everything out). olly keeps having freak head injuries around him and he blames himself for it bc he feels he's so tainted that his presence must only bring misfortune to olly specifically bc Mr Olruggio 'My FP is also my husbanduationship' of the Torch refuses to give up on him For Some Reason. olly is trailing after him like a devoted, hungry dog. jesus, dude. i need to be taken out back

the way that the main story very much 'descends into darkness' as it explores corruption and totalitarianism while the spin-off is pretty consistently lighthearted. their life was and still is both and tbh that's making what happens in the main story hit harder and feel much more dangerous in a believable way. you really start feeling like these girls have foster parents as much as they have masters to learn a craft from, near exclusively whenever we see qifrey's pov. tbh oftentimes more so. the atelier is genuinely a homestead- its even tucked out of the way of the nearest town, its really private and has tons of space. we explore a range of dynamics between a master and apprentice but the abusive ones are highlighted. idk how many master-apprentice households have warm, homecooked meals together nearly every night, who's live-in goverment assigned cps agent is firstly emotionally intimate with the teacher and is equally great with the kids. the atelier is a cptsd haver's dream home and dream childhood (everyone has cptsd). its very peaceful and there's tons and tons of space to run around and play and explore in. they go out on picnics together. qifrey learned ALL the best things from beldaruit and its fascinating watching how coco in a lot of ways is mirroring qifrey's own childhood and adolescence while also going down her own route. echoes of the past n all that

it means a lot to see a character who's an overtly gay man continue to find beauty and meaning and love and joy in life after everything he went through, AND who is willing to fight to continue to have it, despite virtually everything being against him, while he remains gentle and nurturing and curious. the fact that qifrey took in troubled students specifically to foster and hopefully nurture them back into enjoying life means a lot. the world hurt and scarred them all but there's still beauty to be found in it and you should stay to see it. yeah. its just really good