The Nightmare

(copy pasted from my Google docs of Ibara Ted Talks, don't mind the grammar)

this may very well end up being convoluted n what not, so like... this is just a glorified ramble i can’t even lie

So... Ibara Saegusa, am i right?

for this, imma take some of the characteristics that are canonical/ heavily implied (looking at u bogie time) and listen them, and make the correlations with AsPD

(For those not aware, AsPD stands for Antisocial Personality Disorder, also called sociopathy, which is a disorder mainly characterized by a lack of empathy towards others, disruptive conduct of some kind, and aggressive or impulsive conduct, between many other factors)

Ibara is shown, in canon to:

Have been abandoned as a child

had misconduct towards people above her (mainly speaking we see this with Ibara towards Yuzuru)

Shows no remorse or guilt over manipulating others

Shown misconduct towards others private life (the information beurau as a whole)

Shows easily irritable behaviour (either shown as a joke, or her actually getting aggresive)

Has issues over her own self worth

there are other things that i may touch more in each point i make but for now, i’m going with these 6

it may seem dumb to note Ibara’s upbringing at first, however, it becomes way more relevant when it is put into perspective facts from developmental psychology, mainly that a children’s personality is only fully developed around it’s 7 to 8 years of age. Ibara was first left in an orphanage, and at a later age, around 10, was put to join the private military camp together with Yuzuru. This is an awful early age for a child to be put into a situation like this. Ibara had no guardian figure that was worth following, and as such, he started at an early age having misconducts. The earliest ones we can find are his attempts to murder Yuzuru in the private military camp.

Even then, Ibara has a history with not exactly legal/ socially acceptable conduct. Be it the canon Information Beareu she formed on ES, her highly manipulative acts, and many other manipulation and lies based actions she has taken. Ibara also shows little to no remorse over the big majority of action she has taken unless she is actively faced with the consequences of said actions (feelign guilt over the Crazy:B confession after Rinne “ruined her plans”). In general, Ibara only actively shows some form of remorse when the opposite reaction from what she expected comes to her meet.

Ibara is shown to be not too difficult to irritate, though it is usually shown as a gag or a joke, with her sending death threats or wanting to kill herself, ibara is actually someone that cannot fully hold her tongue when irritated, which also can lead to situations where she will belittle others (Literally half the time she gets mad at Nagisa she ends up in such a way)

the biggest thing, however, that i want to use as my, between many quotes, “”””“proof”””” of Ibara’s ASPD is her self image.

Ibara holds the idea that she needs to have a meaning in life, a purpose and fulfill that purpose so that she has succeeded. Ibara deals with a great lot of trauma over abandonment, and having no one she could trust or hold on, sometimes due to the external world, other times due to her own aversion of being vulnerable to someone.

With ASPD, the person may fall into 2 ways: following the misconduct of not good examples of caretakers they had in the ambients they frequented, OR doing misconducts and falling into manipulatory behaviour as a way to feel control and gain something from social itneractions that otherless feel non impactful to their life.

Due to the lack of a proper caretaker to be used as a primal example, a person with ASPD may very well not have had the necessary brain correlations to interpret that certain actions are bad and other actions are good.

Ibara, in itself, lacked any proper caretaker as a primal example, and much more was faced with the fact of abandonment as a child, which led to her developing unhealthy methods to cope, such as manipulating other to have some form of gain, much like many did to her during middle school, and when in the face of that not working, relying on legal or social misconduct to get things to go as she planned.

ASPD may have a very low to non existent empathy, due mainly to the own trauma the person experienced, and their need to not view it as a trauma. with ASPD, feelings of vulnerability are scary, and unwanted, so having an upperhand, a control, is important to them. That is why most of them are manipulative. that is why most of them can have aggressive or violent behaviour upon being forced in a vunerable position.

Fun facts about my son Aza:

He is the eldest MetMòór member, being 20-21

He is also the eldest of 9 siblings!

Self proclaimed Big Brother of almost anyone he meets

Has on his priv bio "my pecs are real, plz stop asking"

Loves to write poetry and nursery rhymes!

Other silly images of Aza:

and for the simps (my friends) here is Aza breasting boobyly

Their honest reaction under the cut