Andy(Tyson)

Date: March 12 I never got to say goodbye. I didn’t even know it would be the last time. I keep thinking about that night, what I would’ve said if I knew it was our last moment. But I didn’t, and now I’ll never get the chance. I wonder if he knew how much I cared, even in those final moments.

Date: March 5 In their eyes, I see the blame, Silent whispers, a heavy name. Each glance reveals what words can’t say, Sometimes I think I deserve this weight.

Date: February 28 I can’t drive past that street. The street where it happened. I’ve tried, but as soon as I see it, my hands start shaking, my chest tightens, and I can’t breathe. It’s like the whole world stops and I’m back in that moment. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to face it without falling apart.

Date: February 21 Everyone keeps telling me it wasn’t my fault. But what if they’re wrong? What if I could’ve done something differently? Taken a different route, slowed down, paid more attention. The what-ifs are eating me alive. I can’t shake the feeling that I could’ve prevented it. I don’t know if I’ll ever believe them.

Date: February 14 I’m tired. Tired of pretending like I’m okay. Tired of wearing this mask every day, smiling when all I feel is guilt. It’s exhausting, but I’m scared of what’ll happen if I stop pretending. What if I can’t handle it?

Date: February 7 I hate it when they say I’m lucky. Lucky to be alive, lucky I wasn’t hurt. But they don’t see the scars I carry every day. They’re not on my skin, but they’re deeper than that. No one can see them, but they’re always there.

Date: February 1 I see them laugh, live, and move on, While I’m trapped in shadows of a haunting dawn. How do they smile, pretend it’s all fine? I’m stuck in that moment, lost in the line.

Date: January 25 Every night, the same dream. I’m driving, and no matter how hard I hit the brakes, the car won’t stop. I wake up sweating, heart racing, only to find myself stuck in the same nightmare—awake. They tell me it’s normal. I don’t believe them.

Date: January 17 I haven’t said his name out loud since the accident. It feels too heavy, like if I say it, it makes everything more real. I keep thinking, if I avoid it long enough, maybe I can forget what happened. But deep down, I know I never will.

Date: January 10 It wasn’t the crash that haunts me, it’s the silence that came after. The kind where you realize the world will never be the same again. I remember gripping the steering wheel, my heart pounding. And then nothing. Just an unbearable stillness. That’s when I knew, something irreversible had happened. But I still don’t know how to move on from that.