💜 27, he/they 💜 very multishipper and very multifandom (IM REALLY GETTING INTO DISPATCH RIGHT NOW GOD I WISH I COULD GET WATERBOY PREGNA—) 💜 i still hate on acotar but not rn 💜
Okay so since im really using this space again heres a fair warning byf:
I really dont care about fictional incest, loli/shota, non-con, age gaps, imbalanced power dynamics, toxicity, murder and/or any problematic and dead dove content in general.
Do I like all that kind of content and ships that involves it? No.
But did i learn how to curate my own space, so I just evade what i don't like? YES.
I'm a (semi) functional adult and i come from Twitter, I'm really fucking done with the unnecessary teenagy drama, the harassing and the overall insanity of suicide-baiting, doxxing and death-threatening someone over a bunch of pixels on a screen.
Key word here is fictional, mind the key word or block me.
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1. Satan had a pet Flame Salamander but it preferred Simeon so he allowed Simeon to have him (it later ran away from Simeon)
2. Satan was once allowed to have a cat but kept bringing more until you couldn’t see the floors of the house. He has been banned from having a pet cat since
3. Satan is considered the safest option for MC to date by Lucifer
4. Satan has some control over Cerberus thanks to Lucifer teaching him
5. Satan belongs to a rare book club but advises all new members to make sure Mammon isn’t following since Mammon was banned
6. Assuming all humans are the same, the first valentines card Satan appears in he offers to kill someone for MC and attempts to give them rare jewels and other treasures
7. Satan’s wrath alone can shake buildings
8. Satan is stated to still be going through his rebellious phase. All his brothers agree.
9. Satan was born shortly after the fall from the celestial realm but due to being part of Lucifer he has memories of the celestial realm and of Lilith
10. Satan loves beautiful things according to his card though this isn’t addressed much in the game
11. Satan loves going to art museums
12. Satan has connections with literally everyone. His brothers are often surprised by this, even Lucifer
13. His brothers compare him to a cat since they never know when and where he’s going to show up
14. He has a giant inferiority complex due to Lucifer and feeling like his copy. Through the levels Satan has gotten better but still feels this way on occasion
15. Satan is the most openly sexual out of his brothers when it comes to encounters in the game
16. When lost in a forest, Satan took the opportunity to try and have sex with MC but they were interrupted by Beelzebub
17. Satan is rich enough to buy clothes worth as much as a house and discard them without a second thought
18. Satan checks a cat blog as the last thing in the day before bed so he has energy for the next day
19. In one chat Satan says someone he’d be attracted to someone with a mutual understanding of anger
20. Satan once strung up Mammon when he secretly recorded him
21. Satan’s feather boa is a nod to being created from both Lucifer’s wrath and the wings he ripped from his back
22. While most people don’t like things being thrown at them, Satan is worse. In a pillow fight he blew up about getting hit in the face and was even angrier when Asmodeus sent a picture of it to Solomon. Mammon once threw a piece of trash at his head and hid in the woods out of fear.
23. Satan likes chunky red bean paste over smooth because it has more bite
24. Satan despises baby talk not directed at animals. He was extremely angry when Asmo was using baby talk
25. After his birth, Satan was taught everything by his brothers. Due to Lucifer’s new harsh behavior contrary to his pre-fall brotherly behavior, Satan only saw this dark side of him and unfortunately it had the largest influence on him
26. Despite his rank at fourth brother, he is the youngest, and aside from MC is the youngest character in the game. In Issue 3 of the RAD newspaper the devs say Luke is youngest but this is in terms of physical appearance/mental age and contrary to many in-game details
27. Solomon and Satan get along very well and share a love of books, knowledge, and especially cats
28. Satan goes to a cat cafe often but is annoyed that they seem to prefer Belphegor over him
29. Luke was extremely surprised that Satan’s kind act was all a fake. Lucifer even immediately warned MC of Satan’s deceiving appearance the moment they were introduced
30. Satan originally approaches and “befriends” MC to use them to annoy Lucifer, this relationship dynamic eventually changed to affection and admiration
31. Satan covered his student laptop in cat stickers and did the same thing to Belphegor’s
32. Satan’s antagonistic behavior with Lucifer is shown to be an impulse as he also wishes to dedicate less time to Lucifer but does so anyway
33. Satan admires Solomon’s intellect and wishes to catch up to him
34. Satan cherishes relationship anniversaries and special dates of remembrance
35. Satan’s motto is “Wisdom is the treasure of all generations.”
36. Satan in B’s Log is said to easily be able to openly express his feelings
37. Satan likes the bitterness of dark chocolate
38. It’s been confirmed by Asmodeus that contrary to his behavior, Satan does care about and look up to Lucifer
39. The gray cat Satan is seen with most often is names Sir Cat
40. Satan has successfully pranked Lucifer multiple times. The most significant event being when he transferred his pain and side affects from Solomon’s cooking to Lucifer who declares he will get him for this
41. When Beelzebub’s mind became that of a cat Satan found him to be oddly cute
42. Satan let’s Belphegor sleep on his lap because Belphegor seems to really enjoy it
43. Both in the human world and Devildom Satan feeds hoards of cats
44. Multiple times Satan has made a move on MC in front of other people, once when Beelzebub was asleep and again when Mammon passed out
45. Satan starts his baths by washing his left arm
46. Satan in B’s log is said he has things he is jealous of when it comes to his lover
47. Satan is a fan of the artist Dantalion
48. Satan gets sleepy after eating lunch
49. Satan has taken MC to art galleries and events multiple times in the games
50. Satan’s greatest dream is to have a cat
51. Satan says for relationships with hardships he chooses to face them passionately
52. Satan’s favorite show is Mid-Fall Murders, a parody of Midsomer Murders
53. Satan’s book piles have fallen and trapped him on multiple occasions
54. Satan is a good artist
55. Satan’s daily goal is to pet a cat
56. In B’s Log, Satan is said to take the active role in Love and wants to bind and monopolize his lover
57. Satan loves classical music, especially symphonies
58. Satan is a night owl and has said si himself. Often it is because he looses track of time reading.
59. Satan likes to make his own Christmas ornaments—they are all cats
60. Satan is a confirmed sadist
61. Satan has said his room is not a mess and he knows where everything is
62. Satan enjoys going for walks at night
63. Satan believes Easter is the perfect day to throws eggs at Lucifer
64. Satan agrees with Lucifer that Luke is like a dog
65. Satan sometimes wonders if Mammon is the most decent of them, though he hasn’t stated why
66. Satan isn’t aware humans count sheep to go to sleep and mistaking it believes it’s crows
67. Satan loves Ska Music believes it’s appealing no matter age or gender
68. Satan has never won a game of chess against Diavolo
69. Satan is one of the worst drunks according to Asmodeus
70. Satan is most trusted by Asmodeus
71. Levi asked Satan for a Cherry Crush once but Satan gave it to some cats saying they wanted it more
72. Raphael made Satan extremely angry by pointing out he reminded him of Lucifer right to his face
73. Satan once got angry when Lucifer said it made no difference if he did the paperwork or Satan bug later it was revealed it’s because Lucifer trusts him and knows he will always do a good job
74. Asmodeus believes if Satan ever becomes truly angry the world will end, this belief is shared by most of the Devildom
75. According to Beelzebub, Satan looked at him reproachfully for eating a cat shaped pancake at the Cat’s Eye.
76. Satan and Luke like the Devil Animals TV Show, and they watch it together when Luke comes over to the house of lamentation. Belphegor once found them absorbed in a scene of a cat swiping at a zombie iguana
77. Mephistopheles and Satan have a chat where 9 times out of 10 they devise plans to ruin Lucifer, gossip about him, complain about him, or discuss rumors about him
78. Satan once gave Lucifer a scarf but it was cursed to grow for eternity so he immediately burned it
79. Satan visits the demon lord castle archives very often
80. Satan is the only one of his brothers to have been born a demon
81. Satan put cat towers in the backyard, hoping to entice cats to play in their garden. Since he isn’t feeding them he claims he’s not breaking the no-cats-rule
82. Satan saved Luke from falling down the stairs. Luke called him an accursed demon but Satan later found candies on his desk
83. Satan is knowledgeable in Venus flytraps, and told Mammon they like stuffy humid places
84. A convenience store put out a capsule toy machine with kittens. Satan was afraid of everyone would think and got MC to go with him
85. Satan unknowingly wore face-changing mask that made it appear he was smiling, Lucifer chose not to do anything, worried about what Satan would do to Mammon if he found out
86. Satan gave cursed candies to Lucifer once but it didn’t affect him much and Satan was “distraught” according to Mammon
87. Satan once suffered a curse that made everything look like cats. According to Barbatos he wasn’t bothered at all
88. When MC was practicing wash granting they made a giant cat for Satan
89. Satan fell asleep with a cat under a tree and ended up covered in petals, solomon thought it was cute
90. At least five of Satan’s outfits involve cats
91. When Beelzebub ate cat food, Satan got mad as he saw it as stealing food made for cats
92. Satan reports everything his brother’s get up to to Lucifer
93. When Belphegor fell asleep in his soup it was Satan who decided to clean him up and tuck him into bed
94. Despite Belphegor being bad at drawing, if it’s of a cat, Satan can tell what it is down to the specific cat breed
95. Satan finds that cleaning the kitchen is stress-relieving, this was recommended by MC
96. Satan borrows manga and light novels from Levi
97. Satan blew up when Belphegor admitted he accidentally spilled something on Satan’s book and left it that way
98. Satan’s brothers all began apologizing to Satan in fear for their life when he casually read a torture manual in the cafeteria at school
99. Satan laughs when remembering the time he strangled a bunch of demons on his first day of school
100. A child once ran into Satan while he visited the human world. He helped the child but the child blamed him and went crying to his parents who started yelling at Satan. Satan put the fear of god in them and finds it hysterical, proudly sharing this story
"Could do it myself." Jim says for the n-th time that evening, eyes careful and fingers twitching ever so slightly because you pass around him, not staying in one place long enough for him to pull you down.
On the couch or in his lap, that he lies that he will leave up to a chance.
So that a sick part of him can mount you, can bite down on your shoulder, can murmur "stay still" and feel the forbidden sort of excitement when you do, heartbeat pulsing against his teeth.
But you wave him off and manage to slip through his touch like you are snow that his palms are too warm to hold for as long as he'd like to.
"You could. But I want to do it for you." You respond over the shoulder, rummaging through the hair care products.
Preparing for a bath with him like it's an entire ordeal and not just that.
A bath.
Him, letting you wash his hair.
Jim shifts his weight from one leg to the other, awkawrd and out of place, he doesn't like just hovering on your periphery, doesn't like that you are not letting him help and doesn't like how much attention he is getting.
You don't have to care about him to this extent.
He hasn't finished the chores and he forgot to add honey to your tea and he made dinner later than usually today. He doesn't deserve pampering when he has yet to earn it.
And still you give it with excess.
You don't care whether he earned it or not, you don't ask him for a compiled list of reasons of why he thinks he deserves anything nice even though he holds one at the back of his mind. Just in case. Can't get used to a good thing too quickly.
What if it all goes away out of a sudden?
Jim just has to figure out what he should do with shame — heavy and burning — it colours his cheeks in blotchy red spots because he is never pretty when he flushes.
Because he has been an ugly kid and he is not entirely sure he's grown out of it.
"Don't wanna bother you with it." He adds, threading like this entire conversation is the ice shell — thin and crispy — covering the deep snows beneath.
One misstep and he's buried, your body pressing into his and all will to get out is dwindling, his head finally going dark and quiet.
Could stay with you all winter burrowed someplace deep and close, he thinks, watching how you go into detail as to why exactly it's not bothering you and that it's more than fine, but if he doesn't want to then of course, no pressure at all.
"If only a bit." He breathes out, hiding a smile when you glance back at him, your eyes narrowed.
You never concern yourself with whether or not he has earned your affections — you always give as much as you feel like giving.
You kiss his stubbled jaw in the morning, leave him reeling when you hug him from the back — body pressing to his fully.
And Jim doesn't know if there is a way to decently explain that every time he feels like melting, like the ice columns of his legs are turning to water and that he doesn't even mind that.
Not at all, if that's because of you.
"Oh father, I shall want to be a real boy." You joke when he tries to share and laugh so hard at his absolutely bewildered eyes that Jim can't help with how his chest caves in, so soft that you could reach for his heart and squeeze tight if only you pressed on his sternum. Your palm would pass right through like all his connective tissue turned to wool.
My light, Jim thinks, tilting his head to the side when you turn your head to glance back, checking if he is still looking at you, My undoing.
Of course he is looking.
Like one could just look away from you.
"Ever get tired of watching me?" You ask, trying to play off the sudden spike of shyness as teasing and Jim can feel his whole face softening.
Lovely. How did he even live without you before?
"If I ever say such a thing — take me out the back and shoot me in the head." He says after a split seconf of contemplating, cheeks hot when you make a surprised cackle — sound escaping your mouth before you can compose yourself and send him a glare for joking like that.
Like he can ever feel bad about pulling you into a feet of giggles over something he said.
Making you laugh is one of his biggest pleasures, rivaling perhaps only the one of making you comfortable.
"Like an old dog?" You clarify for some reason and Jim nods immediately.
"Yeah. Toss my body in the woods and wait a winter. Next spring a better Jim will come back to the clearing — he won't make this mistake."
"Doesn't work like that with people, Pinocchio." You hum, entirely unfazed by the suggestion and when Jim smiles behind your back again it's just a little wider than should be possible.
"If you say so."
You never pay any mind to clues he throws to you, almost deliberately ignoring how Jim kisses you on the forehead every full moon to come back to the cabin only at sunrise.
For some reason neither do you ask any question.
You do, however, read through the poetry book with all his annotations — quote his own thoughts back to him mid dinner to watch him lose his footing.
Clever and merciless, you love him with passion that burns like blazing sun and Jim doesn't know how to ask what power assists you in bringing summer wherever you go. Even in January.
So he lets you do whatever you want to him — gets into the bathtub first and closes his eyes as soon as you start pulling your sweater off.
Tries to be polite, ears pink when you giggle and Jim can tell by sound alone what exactly you are taking off right now.
"Don't stay undressed out long", he tries to warn, tone gentle and silently contemplates drowning himself when you very casually toss back:
"I hope you'll warm me up then, won't you?"
Lord, have mercy.
There is no wood to chop around here.
Jim spreads his knees without thinking when the water moves as you gingerly step in the bathtub, his lids tightly shut as to not to catch a glimpse of your naked skin on accident.
Not when he can imagine the water droplets on the backs of your thighs a little too well.
Not when he can guess how'd they taste if he was to drag the flat of his tongue up your skin, collecting each.
"Are you okay?" Your whisper scorches the shell of his ear and Jim twitches, accidentally splasing some water out of the tub and onto the tiles of his bathroom.
Oh, he is better than ever.
The press of your naked skin to his is slick and sinful, overwhelming in the best possible way, his lashes fluttering open to find your concerned eyes much closer than Jim is used to.
Aren't you a sweet thing to worry about a guy like him?
Could eat alive, Jim thinks to himself, breathing out through the nose when your fingers comb through his wet hair — pushing it off his face.
So you can see him better.
"Enjoying the view?" His tongue is thick and clumsy because you smile and in the flickering dimness of bathroom light you are the loveliest person he has ever seen in his entire life.
"Are you?" You tease instead of answering and Jim hums, unexpectedly honest.
"Immensely."
There is something incredibly satisfying in a way your eyes widen, your cheeks got not because of bone-melting condensation hung in the air, but because of him.
Someone call God and tell the man that Jim Walters is the greediest bastard alive when his sweetheart looks at him like he turned on the moon with the flick of his wrist for them.
Your hair sticks to the slope of your neck, outlines every dip — below your ear and down the nape of your neck, it hides nothing.
Jim wants to nose at it, wants to nuzzle in your hot wet skin and stay in the crook of your neck till spring comes.
So when you nestle between his legs as much as tub allows and pull on him to lean closer, Jim complies immediately.
Could drown me right here and I wouldn’t've made a peep, he thinks, brain sluggish when you guide him to lean on you.
Because you give him a kiss on the forehead, which feels almost like a blessing before you let him lean his forehead on your shoulder and massage shampoo into his scalp and kiss forehead.
Oh, this is everything.
Your affection fills him up until his seams aare tight and aching sweetly.
Such an exquisite wonderful torment it is to be so loved.
To be loved by you.
"Feeling good?" You ask, voice dipping lower and Jim doesn't have the power to open his eyes, because you stroke the shell of his ear and his whole body goes pliant.
"Real good." His voice is as intimate as any kiss could get, it prickles your skin and sends an array of goosebumps down your arms.
Jim is all limbs — strong and agile, wired for long torturous runs, too tall for you to reach his hair on any other occasion. But he curks his arms around your waist, forehead resting on your chest and you don't know what to do with the adoration bursting through your pores.
"Good." You murmur and the low content sound that reverbrates through your ribs when Jim hums is probably an affirmation. If you had to guess.
You wash his hair meticulously, detangling strands as carefully as possible because always polite, perfectly distant and impossibly helpful Jim Walters doses off on your chest while you work conditioner into his blond lengths.
"Are you asleep?" You try, voice purposefully quiet and the low grunt that he makes is enough to make your cheeks hurt with the force of your smile. Not anymore, huh?
When Jim finally peels his cheek off of you and leans back, blinking through the haze you are grinning even wider. He is so put together and composed that to see him as this sleepy creature with only one eye complying to open is so endearing.
"Could wash yours now." He offers, tone carefully neutral and the rasp in his voice is enough for you to imagine how'd it feel to kiss the flat expanse of his chest up to the strong pale neck.
There's a tiny mole right there, nestled deliciously close to the sharp line of his jaw.
"Okay." The agreement comes easily, because this is fair and this is proper bonding and your treaitorous body is unable to supress a shiver that runs through it when his fingers massage your shoulders, working soap into it.
Because haven't you heard? Jim Walters is the greediest man alive when it comes to his sweetheart.
And the only thing he likes more than the sound of your laughter is the feeling of your body going all soft under his hands.
Trusting him to take good care of you.
"Are you cold?" Jim hums, like he doesn't know that you are anything but — corners of his lips tugged with a smile when you make a small noise in protest.
Unwilling to talk too much in the moment, because maybe you are too busy enjoying yourself and enjoying him.
His fingers work shampoo in your hair slowly, for he is in absolutely no hurry here. All the time he has is yours.
All of his attention will always be captivated by you.
Jim has watched your hair routine enough times to know what to do, finding an even deeper-seated satisfaction in the way your closed eyes crinkle with pleasure when he does it just right.
Quiet and diligent, Jim gets distracted only when a lock of your hair gets curled around his index finger. And it's nothing special, you don't even know that it happened, but the sight reminds him of the woods with endless branches, holding onto you too.
Must be fate, Jim thinks, his palms cupping your cheeks — strokes them as he slides the palms under your jaw. Massages now your face too, drinking into the way your skin is cushioning under his fingertips.
"You're good." You mumble when he washes the conditioner out of your hair, his own head buzzing with the feeling he cannot explain and doesn't know how to describe. His skin a size too small because you let him touch you like there are no barriers and Jim think unwillingly about doing it for you every time. For the rest of his life.
He smells just like you now. Hair silky and still damp with moisture but whenever he turns his head — the smell that he catches is absolutely yours.
Like he is now perpetually wrapped in you until the next time he washes his hair.
"Thank you." Jim breathes out, chest tight because you are tugging on his heartstrings to drag him even closer, when you slowly blink your eyes open.
"Dosed off?" He probes, leaning close enough to indulge himself just a little more and finally nose at your cheek, huffing out a chuckle when you grumble "no".
"I am not sleeping in the bathtub, James Walters." You announce, rolling your eyes when Jim nods solenmnly, totally very convinced with your attempt to use his full name.
"No more anyways." He adds quickly and gets out of the tub while you gasp so you don't try to soak him in cooling soapy water.
Someone's being cheeky now. In a good mood, is he?
"You abandon me now, Brutus?" Your sigh is so heavy that you can hear him laugh as he tries to stiffle it, walking out the door. The cool air of the rest of the house is almost uncomfortable and you lean your cheek on the rim of his tub to look as sad as possible for when he comes back.
"I am not." Jim is still smiling when he comes back — massive fluffy towel in hands.
He is back in his dark sweatshirt and woollen pants, smaller towel resting on his shoulders so he doesn't drip water as he goes. Efficient as ever, you think wistfully and try not to chuckle when he politely looks away.
Almost to the point of closing his eyes when you stand up and the water cascades down your shoulders.
"Doin' it on purpose?" He clarifies, tone bordering on playful because you readily wrap yourself into his towel and let him pick you up without as much as a word of protest about him pulling his back or something of the kind.
It's a short way to the bedroom frm here and the satisfied little sound Jim makes when he gets you in his arms and off the ground is enough to make your cheeks hot.
"Are you?" It's impolite to meet his questions with another one, but Jim doesn't seem to mind. If only because he gets to kiss your temple, pressing you closer to his chest. Entirely too happy to have his hands full of you. Wrapped in his towel, your neck so close he can see the vein beating with every pump of your heart.
"F'course." He breathes out in your ear, his eyes twinkling with laughter when you giggle.
Like there can be any other pleasure that can rival seeimg how comfortable you are around him.
You kiss below his jaw, pulling him out of his head and Jim sways for a moment before steadying himself. You are definitely doing it on purpose.
"Do you want cocoa or tea before bed?" Jim bites on the inside of his cheek, trying not to smile too wide at you nosing at his neck and squeezes your body a little tighter. Maybe if he actually tries enough, you will fuse with him into one eldritch being on one of these days.
"Are you on the menu?" Your question knocks the light out of the little house in his head, so that when common sense knocks there is no one to answer the door.
"Didn't think you were so hungry." He says before thinking and hisses when your teeth sink into the side of his neck, his whole body heating up like he is back in the bathtub all over again. "Point taken."
Jim has done a lot of things in his life and at this point there is barely anything that can really surprise him.
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Warnings: canon eldritch horror, Jim is a tits man, Jim x fem!plus size!Reader, lactation as a kink, mild yandere behavior, possessive tendencies, Jim is a pervert, a lot of winter and forest and death metaphors, hypothermia also makes you warm before you die btw, smut, fingering
The first time it happens, you two just have had a little too much mulled wine, mouth stinging with the aftertaste of anis, tongue tying from alcohol.
Just some good time before Christmas, a little something to tide you and Jim over on a particularly uneventful night, blizzard outside of the cabin howling like an enraged beast.
The light was dancing over the wall – a shadow of flames in the fireplace, the crack of wood succumbing to merciless burn filled the space between words and laughter.
“You ever have dreams so good you don’t want them to end?” you asked him, tipsy and giggling, sat comfortably close, legs touching. Warm and intentional.
“Not really.” Jim hums, nursing his mug. He has a red spot left by wine in the corner of his mouth, you notice. Would it be too inappropriate to crawl over and lick it off? Probably.
Yeah, you have officially had too much for the evening.
“I’ve had days I didn’t want to end.” He tilts his head to the side, eyes of his – the everlasting ice and endless winter skies – watch you lean closer to him. Always so reserved, so stoic even when you smell like his soap and wear a t-shirt with no bra underneath.
“Is that one of them?” you ask, emboldened by his reaction to your close proximity – the slow blow of his pupils when you tilt your head, mimicking him and Jim gets a better look at the slope of your neck.
He leans a little closer too, his brow raising when you get up to take a few steps towards him. But he doesn't stop you.
Not yet at least.
And his warm palm, steadying you on your wobbly legs is the only anchor you get amidst this storm.
“Might be.” he murmurs noncommittally and deflects instead of looking in your searching eyes, “You ready to get some rest?” Jim asks, his smile widening when you whine in protest.
His thumb strokes your hip bone absentmindedly, the touch burning through your clothes and god, you shouldn’t think about it too much, not when chances are, he is not even noticing that he does that.
But in a moment he looks up at you and in the warm light of the fireplace, with his fingers giving you a fraction of what you want, you can’t help but wonder how would it feel to have his hands on you, his back pressed to yours as he –
“You look a little flushed”, Jim says, concern bleeding into his voice at the long silence stretching in between the two of you, the breathy “im fine” and quick blinking definitely not helping your case. “Hold on, I will get you some water.” He stands up before you can even answer, steadying you with a warm palm on your elbow.
So helpful and cordial, sometimes you wish he was less of a gentleman. Sometimes you want to push him just to see what happens.
If the slow stroking of his thumb would morph into a grip, holding you in place or pushing you down.
Reminding you to behave and be good for a man you know so little about, but still want to eat alive. Lord, that’s a good thing that he cannot read your thoughts.
“Jim–” you protest and when he steps away to the kitchen sink, the drunken moment of bold urgency takes over. “No. No water for me.”
It doesn’t sound as stern as you were hoping for.
Maybe, because you don’t feel like being stern with him.
Or, maybe, because you mumble it in his chest, arms wrapped around his torso.
He is warm, much warmer than you expected – pleasantly stiff in a way that makes you want to stroke down the line of his spine like he is a big hound. A pet for you to shower with affection.
“I’m alright, I promise.” you just say into his shirt and force down a shiver when his arms tentatively wrap around you.
Barely holding, but this right there is already so much more than he has given you days prior.
Not your fault he makes your gums itch with the strange intense hunger, with the need to climb into the crack of his armour and make home there, with the urge to draw some blood so you can lick him clean.
Not your fault he so rarely takes the first step.
You nuzzle into his chest, wine clouding your head, Jim’s body stiffening under your touch before he breathes out a shaky breath and hugs you back a little tighter.
Easing himself into your touch like you are a hot bath and he has been out in the cold for so long that he can’t feel the tips of his fingers anymore.
“You are so warm.” You sigh quietly and under your cheek, his chest rises for him to take a deep breath, his palm stroking your back slowly, his other arm wrapped around your waist.
A little more and it would be almost possessive.
Only you know he is not the possessive kind. Not the Jim that you know.
When he speaks again you can swear that he is smiling, his voice cracking like you finally found a way to climb a little closer to his heart and he is ticklish.
“Thank you.” He murmurs and the way his voice dips lower makes another surge of heat hit your head. “I’ve been liking how warm you are too.”
Damn him for being handsome and nice and cordial.
What are you even supposed to do with a guy who has this amount of self restraint?
“Should really go to bed, shouldn’t I?” You lean on him, warmth of the evening and heat of his touch doing absolutely nothing to soothe the wine dancing through your bloodstream.
Yeah, better you go sleep it off before you do something you’d feel mortified about in the morning.
Only his fingers twitch to grip the fabric of your shirt, before he catches himself, his eyes slipping awfully low for a gentleman he has been these past few days.
“What?” you grin wider and try to catch his eyes. “Do I have–”
“Would you like a spare shirt?” Jim’s voice is so soft that you barely catch it, gears slowly turning in your head as you look down and oh-
Oh, no.
The familiar sight of darkened wet fabric, sticking to your skin, outlining the hardened bud of your nipple.
You swallow, trying to think of a way out of this when your eyes slide higher and you notice the faint wet imprint on Jim’s shirt.
Oh fuck.
So…apparently you won’t even have to wait for the morning to experience a mortifying ordeal of revealing too much to your handsome neighbour.
“I am…so sorry.” The apology sounds less like a steady “can you believe that happened” with half a chuckle that you were going for and more like a whine, Jim’s Addam’s apple bobbing when he jerks his head up.
“It’s aight.” Which also sounds like he is very far from being alright, shadow falling over his eyes when he tilts his head to the side and you feel like having the ground open so you can jump in the hole and die there. Fucking Christ. “It’s none of my business, but you are…?” his eyes slip lower for just a moment and you swear that his cheeks get a shade pinkier.
“Lactating.” You try for a smile but it feels too tight, your skin squeezing you to curl in on yourself and become a forever ball of shame. “I’m not pregnant or anything! That’s just…something that happens. It’s normal for me. I’m very sorry about your shirt, I’d be happy to wash it–”
“No.” The short cut off is not what you expected, Jim’s tone raising hairs on the back of your neck, rejection sliding down the back of your throat with a tea too cold and vulnerability not welcomed, some small childish part of you curling away. Fuck, okay, you are probably talking too much and he must be uncomfortable as it is and–
“You don’t gotta think so hard.” his thumb presses to the crease between your brows to smoothen it out and Jim looks at you, again calm and settled, pink flush still on his cheeks. “I will bring you something to change into. I’m fine, I promise. Nothing’s wrong with a little splash.” he tries to joke despite the tension stretched inside of your belly. One wrong move and the string is going to snap.
But Jim sidesteps it with the practiced efficiency of a man used to all kinds of things, his palm warm on your lower back when he gently herds you back in your bedroom. He doesn’t mention it when he comes back with a spare shirt, breaking his silence only when you mumble something about the possibility of ruining this one.
“That’s fine. Just get it back to me if something happens again and I will take care of it.” Jim says, tongue quickly wetting his cracked lips. A nervous habit, perhaps?
And that should be it, with him being nice and understanding and offering his shirt.
Only that night you can’t sleep at all, the howl of the wind and the distant sound of Jim getting out to chop some wood wrapping you inside and pressing you down into the mattress.
You will stay with me, a creature with thousand arms and thousand wishes rumbles when you sleep, its roots curling lovingly around your legs, its presence stroking your head. You will stay and you will be mine. A perfect sustenance, a perfect bride.
You don’t know why, but you let it grow through you, blooming in the bursts of ancient desperation, cracking with the hundred-year longing and licking into you – its teeth scraping your inner thigh, the shining light of its eyes – merciless ice and endless winter – looking into yours to find the reflection of shared desire.
All mine, the creature rumbles into your chest, its touch everywhere and nowhere at once, darkness swallowing you before you open your mouth to counter that you are your own and not someone’s.
In the morning you are sweaty and flushed, Jim’s shirt sticky in the front.
Again.
You groan, pulling it off, cold air hitting the warm sensitive skin on your back like a whiplash. Enough to force you to hiss and feel some more pity for the state you find yourself in, pulling out the oversized sweater from the depth of your luggage.
The door to your bedroom slightly ajar, even though the prey part of your brain pounds on the walls of your head saying that you closed it yesterday.
But have you really?
Jim’s home is an old cabin, perhaps you didn’t close it tight enough. And he has been so perfectly nice to you, the other part says, phantom feeling of his fingers curling around your wrist, his lips slipping below your collarbones to suck through the shirt, to–
“Good morning” cuts you off almost in time, Jim’s curious eyes landing on your sweater that you definitely weren’t wearing when you went to bed and you feel a little bit like throwing yourself out of a cabin window and burrowing in the snow.
You swallow down the fantasy of his thin lips wrapped around your nipple and try not to think about the blush spreading from your neck up. Good morning, indeed.
“Morning, I…” you helplessly look on his shirt in your hand and he thankfully gets the hint, something in his face changing almost imperceptibly, like a big fish passing under the tiny boat you find yourself in, surface rippling for a moment before the water is smooth as a glass again. “I’m sorry about the shirt.”
Jim hums and places a mug with something herbal on the table, giving a curt nod for you to sit down. “That’s okay.” His voice is bunny paw soft, barely leaving an imprint on the snow on your perception.
Only when you pass him the shirt, his fingers twitch, curling into the fabric immediately. Squeezing it, before Jim notices your eyes on them and relaxes his grip, folding the shirt to drape over his arm. Motions now almost mechanical in their efficiency.
“Can I help you with breakfast?” you chew on your lower lip and when Jim’s eyes shift to watch your face now, you tilt your head to the side. Subconscious placating gesture.
Showing a big quiet man your throat so he doesn’t assume disrespect and makes it his mission to teach you some.
Jim is not like that, you tell yourself, heart pounding when his gaze dips to your lips.
Jim wouldn’t be into it, you try to laugh, only the silence between the two of you stretches, his thumb absentmindedly stroking the wet spot on the shirt you gave him back.
For God’s sake, Jim doesn’t even like wolves, you reason in your head, only he still watches you out of his dark corners and still manages to quietly follow you and still circles you ever since you accidentally dropped in on his hermit existence.
“Sure.” Jim says instead, smiling like you did something right and turns away. “I will put the shirt away and we can start.”
He doesn’t ask what happened and doesn’t act weirded out, something so grounded in a calm way he handles you in this situation pulls you down from your anxious clouds.
Maybe, you think to yourself, he has been alone for so long that nothing really surprises him anymore.
When he comes back to the kitchen, his hair is tied low at the base of his neck and you get so curious counting moles on his neck that you don’t notice his wet lips.
Or the way he now stands a little bit closer, leaning over your shoulder to show you how to properly cut wild mushrooms.
Second time it happens, you just couldn’t sleep – the circling cold freezes the tip of your nose and toes, climbs to cuddle up behind your back, breathes down your neck even though you try to wrap yourself in the blanket tighter.
After another half an hour of suffering, you hiss “fuck it” and climb out of bed. You already helped yourself to Jim’s tea once, it probably won’t be much of a big deal if you did so again.
Only when you crawl out of the door, he is there, just…standing.
Watching the snow or watching the woods, you assume automatically.
Or watching something in the woods, the imaginative part of you comments and the chill that runs down your spine has nothing to do with the cold.
“It’s late.” Jim says, without turning, so sharply attuned to your presence that he always knows where you are, what you are looking at and what else he can do for you. “You shouldn’t be awake.” His thumb traces the crack in the wooden handle of the carving knife you only now notice in his grip.
You don’t say anything, but step closer, tilting head to the side in some old forgotten habit when his eyes slip down to the slope of your neck and he swallows, his whole body hunching over you to stand as close as he can.
In the moment he is the lonely tree in the forest, the snow, laying on top of the mountains and the paw left in the closed steel trap. Jim is the part of something bigger, something meaner, only in the moment he looks at you like your warmth tortures him.
Like he has always wanted to be seen but never expected anyone to actually look.
“Are you cold?” his tone is almost gentle, weirdly nervous when you still don’t respond, instead. “Have spare blankets in my room if you get too uncomfortable. They are nothing fancy but they will do the job and–”
He falls silent only when your palm cups his cheek, something tender spilling in your chest, aching with the need to make it better. To warm him up too.
“Can I kiss you?” The question hits him square in the chest and when his brows furrow you almost expect him to pull away and storm out to chop some wood.
But you look up at him expectantly, fingers curled into his shirt to keep him in place and in the moonlight you are so lovely, that Jim just gives you a jerky nod and shuffles closer.
Leans lower so you can reach his lips, blush already climbing up his cheekbones when your eyes crinkle and he feels like a teenager on his first date.
“Not fair that you still look at me like that.” He breathes out, eyes impossibly soft when you hum in return and press your lips to his, pulling him in and pulling him under, the ice under his legs finally cracking.
Jim makes a small wounded sound when you pull back and he has to chase your lips, his eyes still closed when you kiss him again and he can feel your smile under his lips, letting out a shuddering gasp when you pull him back with you. Herding him out of the cold hallway back into the bedroom.
You break the kiss again to take a look at him, making him groan, his hands pulling you back by the hips when his mouth crashes into yours.
Finally snapping enough to admit what he wants. How much he craves.
“Mine”, Jim breathes out in half a while and it is everything and more, when he holds you closer, when he sucks the mark in your throat, when his fingers sink in the fat of your sides, finally allowed to touch.
“You don’t even know what you do to me. How I…could’ve eaten you alive when you looked at me like-” he takes a deep breath, flushed and aching for you, “Like you wanted me to eat you. I couldn't sleep properly that night.”
Jim rubs his nose on your cheek, the gesture more animal than human, more wolf-like than you expected, but it still makes your heart flutter.
“And then do you remember what happened?” Jim murmurs, letting you feel the teeth of his smile when you squirm in his hold. “You pressed into me.” he says softly, breathing it out in your ear like you shouldn’t have. Like opening this particular door was not your smartest idea. “Could feel your breasts.” he mumbles in your cheek, curling around you like a serpent, bringing his coils closer, “Could feel when you started leaking.” Jim breathes out and you half expect his mouth to open wide enough for him to sink his teeth into you, his arms holding you in place.
Pretty bunny, you aren’t going anywhere now, are you?
“And you got so shy”, is breathed in your ear like a whine, his lips pressing to your cheek in a desperate affection of a beast that is afraid to snap you in half if he pushes any harder. “Covering up, like I wouldn’t’ve crawled for a taste.”
The air between you is almost electric, your skin buzzing with the need to finally get him to touch you properly – kiss, bite, grope like he means it.
Like he wants you half as bad as he says he does.
“Could let you taste with no crawling required.” you blurt out for some fucking reason and he tilts his head to your eye level so slowly, that you half expect to hear a pop when he snaps his neck. “If…if you want to.”
Jim looks at you for a few very long moments, completely still, his pupils blowing wider than you thought was possible.
“You sure ‘bout that?”
Were you sure? To let him see this much, to let him actually…taste.
This would be something you would not be able to take back. Whatever happens later, this would be something he will always have. A little piece he can fiddle with on cold winter nights like one of his wooden trinkets.
“Yeah.” You nod, throat dry when he leans in closer and tug at the collar of your sweater. “If you want to, that is.”
He doesn’t even think after, not that you notice him pausing when he slides down on his knees and wiggles himself between your thighs, perfectly level with your chest, big palms stroking your tensed up thighs.
“Won’t take more than you will give me.” Jim murmurs quietly and the moment you aren’t sure whether he makes this promise to you or to himself, something hungry in him squeezing the meat of your thighs, something needing dragging his hot lips over your skin.
Barely holding back, keeping himself on a short leash like a good pious boy his mother must have made him be until he wasn’t anymore. Until something else started living under his skin and looking through his eyes.
Sucking the drops of your milk through the thin fabric of the short, savouring every sinful bit he was not permitted to enjoy. Only something else won when you looked at him with big nervous eyes and when the creature in his head purred “should just steal our bride away” he didn’t say no for the first time since it made home in his head.
Look what you do to me, Jim wants to say, but he is mute and drooling, everything in him dulling down to focus on this one singular point existing in this new reality of his.
Only you and the soft creases of your nervous smiles and the soft shirts you keep wearing around him and the soft tits of yours leaking over him and on his fucking things.
Like your body knows what you need better than your head does, calling out to him to finally do something, to take off some of that pressure, to relieve the heavy tender feeling he knows you must experience.
After all, what is it, if not him being helpful? Being good even.
You clearly need it.
Jim licks his lips, swallowing, sound thick in the quiet of the room. He would lie if he said he won’t savour it. He would lie if he promised to try and not enjoy it.
You drag your sweater off slowly, stomach tensing up at the whiff of cold air and the act in itself is so endearing Jim feels like wrapping himself around you and always keeping you warm. Close. His.
“Come ‘ehe, baby.” he murmurs, tongue thick in his mouth when he pulls down the blanket to throw over your shoulders. Kissing each before he covers them. Savouring every tender bit of skin he can get his lips on.
You are sweet with warmth and his herbal soap, almost decadent on his tongue.
Like butter, you melt when his tongue dips in the hollow of your throat and you make a needy beautiful sound.
Might get used to it quickly, Jim thinks to himself, pulling you closer and sharing his warmth. Making sure you are comfortable enough for him to start.
The thought of actually getting to taste you scorches him from inside out, ravages through the tendons of his self-restraint, yanks the chain and feels his mouth with phantom warmth.
If the drops of your milk tasted good, should he try to imagine how drinking his fill is going to feel or would he be better off not driving himself mad before he even started?
His tongue drags over your nipple, slow and torturous, not nearly enough stimulation but a promise of it – wet and molten – it drips down your body between your legs, pools there like a secret you can’t tell and can only show.
Jim is slow with you, big palms stroking your sides, his hair tickling the skin of your front. He is meticulous and careful, settled in between your legs, knees pressed to the hardwood floors of his cabin.
Perhaps, this is how he repays his god for the luxury he should never be able to afford and should not be allowed to think about. For you.
For a taste.
Jim presses closer to you, fingers stroking over the warm expanse of your skin, mouth dripping with the need to devour, to take, to be selfish. To remake you into something new. Something of his own, something that he would get to keep deep in the woods.
Jim looks up at you and murmurs “baby”, lips stretching out in a tentative smile when your face heats up. When your heart starts pounding and this close to you he can hear the exact moment when it happens.
He waits for your permission, you realise.
A green life to be self indulgent, to allow himself something he never expected to have, but has always dreamed of in the dead of the night.
“It’s fine”, you breathe out and something in you – sweet and aching – tightens when he tilts his head to the side and gives your sternum a kiss. Impossibly gentle when you want him to stop being such a gentleman. “Jim, come on-” you whine, thighs tensing to squeeze his sides and you could have sworn that the man breathes out a chuckle, pressing another kiss just a little lower. “You can get a little rougher”, you murmur and try not to flush any darker when he looks at you like you are tormenting him. “You will need to get a little rougher, if you want to get the milk out. Please,” you give up, the phantom feeling of fullness, you have not experienced yet, pressing out the embarrassment, “Just take it.”
That seems to do the trick, because Jim licks his lips, eyes dark and hungry, breathes out “thank you” and wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you a little closer.
Close enough for him to be eye-level with your tits, groan building up in his chest – rich and raspy, it sends shivers down your spine when he presses another kiss to your areola.
Jim sucks your nipple in his mouth, eyes flickering up to your face for a moment. Checking in, if he can still keep going and when you give him a shaky nod, he laves at it with his tongue, his hand gently massaging your breast. Coaxing out the milk.
Warmth of it spreads through your chest, heat coating your lower abdomen when the milk finally hits his tongue and Jim moans, his fingers for a moment digging into your tit just a tad rougher.
Not enough to hurt, but enough to make you clench around nothing.
Greedy and positively possessive he shivers when your fingers card through his hair but instead of pulling him away from your chest, you just tug him closer, gripping his hair when he opens his mouth to let out a shaky breath and milk dribbles down his chin and onto your stomach.
“Fuck me-”, Jim breathes out and instead of wiping it off just hunches lower to lick it off of you, his eyes a little gone at the sound that you make when his tongue collects the the drop dangerously close to the waistline of your sweatpants. “Bad manners, baby, shouldn’t’ve eaten with my mouth open.” he murmurs and licks off the bead of milk on your nipple, his voice dipping lower – rough hunger of it rubbing the inside of your thighs like a big hand.
When you look down at him – half exasperated and needing something you cannot ask for there is a crack in his smile, crow lines in the corners of his eyes sending butterflies in your stomach.
“Getting impatient now, aren’t we?” Jim says in the tone so soft you want to whine again, yanking him closer by the hair. Only, as if sensing it, he leans in and sucks your other nipple into his mouth, lids fluttering shut when you grip his hair tighter and whine at the feel of his teeth scraping your areola.
Just as hungry for him, aren’t you?
Got you good, that much he certainly did, Jim thinks and drags his tongue over your nipple, licking off the dribbles before they go too low.
If gets his head any closer to your mound it would be real hard to say if he can choose between dessert and dinner.
“Always had a sweet tooth.” Jim shares conspiratorially and massages your other breast, drinking in the way you melt in his arms, eyes unfocused, your heart pounding right under his lips.
Some always aching part of him impossibly gleeful when you whimper “please” and pull his hand down. Between your legs.
His teeth scrape your cheek when he nibbles it, smiling so wide it should be impossible. Only you beg for him and suddenly he can breathe again.
How can it be bad if you need him so much? How can it be wrong if he gives you such a relief with just a little bit of touching?
“Beautiful”, he breathes out, his words scorching on the tingling skin of your neck when he nuzzles into you and slides his palm under the waist of your sweatpants, first caress barely there, barely pressing. “You are so beautiful.”
First caress an introduction to his touch, an appetiser to get your appetite going so you can devour him in turn when the time for it comes.
And his tone is devotion incarnate, eyes impossibly warm for a man who looks so much like winter and lives in a place so cold. Jim is warm all over, you realise, sluggish mind of yours refusing to think too hard with his lips kissing your cheeks and his hand between your legs.
Everything in him makes you burn – the molten heat of his mouth, the insistent press of fingers dipping in the curls at the apex of your thighs, finding slopping wetness that coats him like syrup.
“Could drink ya down, baby.” Jim shares, when his finger circles your clit and the air between you is impossibly hot, impossibly humid when he breathes out on your nipple and sucks it back into his mouth, eyes crinkling in satisfaction when your hips roll into his touch.
When you crack and finally ask for something more, thighs opening for him, giving way to some well-deserved pleasure.
You took such good care of him, can’t he take some proper care of you?
But you whimper “Jim, more”, grip on his hair tightening, face hot and sweat sliding down your spine, short hairs on the back of your neck wet, when you press yourself into the mattress and pull him down with you.
Jim fingers you slowly, his tongue circling your nipple, sucking out every drop you can give him, licking up whatever he spills.
Leaving hickeys on your tits when his teeth nibble the skin on your breast for the first time and your hips twitch.
“That’s what you like?” His tone is a little wonderstruck, voice deep and rich, raising hairs on your arms, easing the way for his fingers when he dips a finger inside of you and it slips right in. It would have been embarrassing if Jim hadn't taken all the space and replaced it with his mouth, his fingers, his desperate all-consuming yearning.
If the creature in your dreams is the big bad wolf of old then the Jim that you know is an owl, wrapping his wings around you, swooping in to steal you away.
His teeth are always a little too sharp and his mouth is always drooling at the sight of your naked skin.
Pleasure builds up gradually, warmth spreading all over and numbing your whole body until you are nothing but a buzzing presence in his arms, Jim’s eyes watching you – snow of his coating your mind, bringing sleep and peace and stuffing down your throat.
Have you ever heard of hikers undressing high up in the mountains? The death zone suffocates them slowly until they are dizzy and lost, until they start seeing things – creatures with thousand arms and no names. Men with eyes like winter and sharp teeth.
Both of those come to wrap itself around the body, to claim and brand, to freeze out so you are forever perfect and forever preserved.
Jim tilts his head dragging his tongue up your nipple, his eyes wild and gone, his name slipping from your mind and you are needing and clawing, waterline blooming because this is too much and not enough.
Because you are just as privy to getting hungry and getting selfish and taking-taking-taking, scooping out his heart like ice cream and making home where it was.
Greedy and wrong, but his fingers curl inside of you, his wet mouth slurping up your milk and leaving blooms of kisses, colouring you in red and purple.
A pinch of spice with his eternal sweetness.
A little pain for your troubles. A little treat.
Orgasm raises from your body like a tidal wave, it falls down on your head and the pressure uncoils your spine and stretches you thin, the pressure so delicious you can’t help but drool and can’t help but devour, kissing Jim until all you can feel is heat and his blood dripping from a lip you bit too hard.
Your woods. Your wolves. Your Jim.
His fingers are sopping wet, sticky with your need when he presses his face in your neck and makes a low hungry sound, his hair sticking to his forehead, his heart pounding against yours.
Half a sacrifice the pair of you are. Half a monster.
“Mine”, you breathe out in his hair, shivering when he has to pull his hand out of your pants and your thighs twitch – oversensitive.
Silence stretches between the two of, ringing with torn strings and desires too big to be voices, his lips pressing to your sternum for a long moment.
Almost devotional.
“Yours.” Jim admits as easily as he accepts your presence in his life, lets you pull him on the bed, so he can lean on the headrest and wrap himself around you. He is quiet and affectionate: pressing kisses behind your ears, draping blanket over your legs, nuzzling into you. His hair – stems curling around your shoulders and holding onto you. Keeping you close.
It’s warm. Even if you still can’t understand him at times and the dreams leave you with more questions than answers.
“Perhaps”, he says, coarse thumb running over your nipple, eyes slipping to the space over your shoulder, to the window you know to be empty in the dead of the night, “I think I won this time.” Jim looks at you, something longing and old cutting through the ice of the endless blue of his eyes. “Think I got you to stay for a little longer, didn’t I?”
You breathe out something between “yeah, of course” and “i’ll think about it”, already half way to the land of the dreaming, his touch a pleasant coarse affection that untangles wires in your head and leaves you pleasantly empty.
“Yeah, baby.” Jim murmurs, some dark satisfaction bleeding into his tone when you lean on his chest, turning your head to hide your cold nose into the warm crook of his neck. “Think I got you to be mine this time.”
Somewhere on the edge of your consciousness there is a laughter – deep and gleeful, creature with thousand arms and no names happily breathing in the scent of your hair.
Yeah, bunny, they whisper and the roots now coat your arms, cold white flowers blooming over your collarbones. Yeah, this time you are staying.
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[Image description: A digital drawing of Jim from chilling devotion in a tall blue snowing forest. He is holding a hatchet in one hand, and is watching a car pass by in front of him. He is wearing a coat, a mask and a hat. Above him the branches and the light imply a pair of eyes. The artists signature 'insertdisk' is at the bottom left of the image. / End of image description.]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming