natural selection

Jeffrey Dahmer: one, hOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO SLEEP WITH OVER 200 FUCKIN DUDES WITHIN THE SPAN OF LIKE 5 YEARS???? two, why do you always look dead inside. did you even feel anything at all dude

Dylan Klebold: you were a fucking terrifying 6′3 school shooter yet you were afraid of do g s (also you’re 1/3 of my killer crushes why)

Eric Harris: you were considered the short friend but you were like 5′9 - 5′10 you weren’t even that fucking short what the hell (you’re one of my killer crushes too, w h y)

Randy Stair/Andrew Blaze: your youtube vids were great ok hon you were doin great why’d you have to shoot up a store (hey you’re killer crush number three i wanna die but i love you princess)

Kip Kinkel: i’d ask if you’re okay but you’re a murderer that cries a lot and i can relate so probably not

Elliot Rodger: r/niceguys to the extreme (also your name’s spelled weird why’s there only one t)

Richard Ramirez: dude you have the same last name as my dad are we related (i’d say my last name instead of my dad’s but for some reason i got my mom’s instead (as far as i know they never married oof))

Adam Lanza: you’re good at DDR but can you actually dance?

Dylann Roof: you only look good when you smile tbh

TJ Lane: we all know you’re a sub bottom you smelly bitch (btw nice eyebrows) (also you sound like a fucking twink, i’m not even saying this to fuck with you you really do sound like it)

Ted Bundy: certified diva™. also you weren’t that attractive ok you were like average sit the fuck down

John Wayne Gacy: the OG killer clown

Charles Manson: man you could’ve been a singer why’d you have to let the world get you down like that

Ed Kemper: how the fuck does one grow to be 6′9. h o w

Randy’s suicide notes.