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And we get this flashback of horror:

I agree with @mercipourleslivres that Lishan probably committed some weird mass suicide she was trying to escape (but she somehow survived.)

And then she suppressed all that horror and trauma.

She is fun, funny, smart, genuinely caring about him AND UTTERLY BONKERS BUGFUCK INSANE.

Yessss. No order and I am gonna do 15 sorry not sorry so

Ji Ye, Novoland Eagle Flag

Li Chengyin, Goodbye My Princess

Fan Xian, Joy of Life

Muru Hanjiang, Tribes and Empires

Ning Yuanzhou, A Journey to Love

Cao Pi, The Advisors' Alliance

Cao Cao, Three Kingdoms 2010

Gu Tingye, The Story of Minglan

Gu Pingyuan, Legend of the Magnate

Xiao Qi, The Rebel Princess

Ning Yi, The Rise of Phoenixes

Ya Hua, Three Lives Three Worlds Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms

Wolfie, The Wolf

Gao Chang Gong, Prince of Lan Ling

Xiao Dingquan, Royal Nirvana

Bonus: Yang Guo, Return of the Condor Heroes 2006, aka my first Mainland drama (I've watched Hong Kong dramas before that, and if we include HK dramas, then Hua Wuque from The Proud Siblings (2005) has got to be on it) aka the one that started it all.

He was accused of drugs and dropped from endorsements and productions and I remember reading the drug tests came back negative after all (!!!!) and here we are.

And no repercussions to be had for either tabloids or cops who leaked the info to tabloids back way when either.

(And honestly, I don’t care if he was the druggiest drug user to ever drug, the witch hunt was unconscionable either way but the very real possibility that it was all over nothing takes it into pure horror territory.)

BROTHER...WAKE UP...

2019: Novoland Eagle Flag - trailers looked cool but I knew nothing about the story and had never seen the cast in anything. Checked out because it looked pretty and grim went totally insane.

2020: The Wolf - I didn’t even know it would ever air, let alone anticipate it. Waking up to @andoqin screaming in my messages that The Wolf just dropped, yes all of it, is still the most awesome and surreal moment of my drama watching career.

2021: The Rebel Princess - they only announced the airing the day before and same with a very short nondescript trailer. I checked out because of the cast expecting nothing and lost my entire mind.

2022: Love Between Fairy and Devil: I was actively mocking this one before it aired, I hated that trailer and their male lead can’t act and the premise is dumber than a box of rocks irradiated with a dumbing down ray. Two minutes into the opening and I had to eat every single word I said before. The obsession I had with this thing!

2023: Lost You Forever Part 1: this is going to be the most hyped and the least watchable hit of the summer, thought I. Nobody could coherently explain to me what the story was about, I eye reverse harems like a Puritan eyes a satanic orgy, and the closest I came to liking anyone in the cast was Tan Jianci, where the last drama I enjoyed him in was in 2018. For Yang Zi it was 2013, I was utterly unfamiliar with Zhang Wanyi and Deng Wei to me was the personification of the color beige. Plus none of the trailers grabbed me. Checked it out only because I check out most costume cdramas and now am clearly raving and obsessed about the drama, the story and the cast. Mmm crow!

It's August, so not the end of the year, neither it is at halfway year mark, but why would I ever do anything like a normal person? Here my very very subjective list. I have limited myself to one dude per drama or LYF would be half the list. No order except alphabetical.

Chen Wende (Sun Yizhou in Gone With the Rain, China)

The epic troll lord stole the whole drama as competently as he stole the FL's heart. He was competent and adult and oh-so-amused by but also gone for the heroine.

Gu Jiusi (Bai Jing Ting in Chang Feng Du/Destined, China)

CFD lost steam for me halfway through but Jiusi's character remained a delight throughout and BJT gave a great performance as a golden boy who went through a bunch of hell and grew up but remained goodnatured at heart.

Han Dong Jin (Kim Young Kwang in Call It Love, Korea)

You know, he and Jing (from LYF1) really fit the same mold even if one is in a mellow realistic modern and another in xianxia - lovely traumatized people from monster families who win over heroine with a metric ton of baggage through sheer unswerving decency. I have a type.

Jang Uk (Lee Jae Wook in Alchemy of Souls s2, Korea)

I loved Uk in S1 and S2 continued that love - he's so intense, so grieving, so still in love with Naksu. LJW is always a good actor so it's such a pleasure to see him in a good role.

Kim Do Ha (Hwang Min Hyun, My Lovely Liar, Korea)

The year of surprises - Minhyun, who I found utterly wooden in AoS stole my heart here as this hopeful, traumatized sweetheart of a man.

Kim Moo Chan (Park Hae Jin, The Killing Vote, Korea)

Yeah, we are only one ep in but who said anything about this list was objective? PHJ brings his usual unsettling intensity to the role of a cop who breaks all the rules and teeters on the edge and now is set to catch a killer who really only differs from him in a matter of degree.

Lee Jang Hyun (Nam Goong Min in My Dearest, Korea)

If I had to pick a favorite ML from this list, it would be between him and Jing (LYF). This is basically if you took Rhett Butler and took out slavery and rape but gave him a sword. The character is complex and nuanced and NGM is giving his usual incredible performance.

Lee Rang (Kim Bum in Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938, Korea)

I was not a Rang fangirl for most of the original (even if he was well-acted; and he did win me over by the end) but I fell for him head over heels in this sequel/prequel/spin-off. I am so happy the man who believed he had nobody and was abandoned by everybody ends the story with his beloved brother and his beloved woman, both.

Moon Seo Ha (Ahn Bo Hyun in See You in My 19th Life, Korea)

A lot of MLs on this list have serious trauma and haunted by it and can't let go of their past love (I have a type) but even by those standards, Seo Ha was such a lovely, quiet person slowly healing.

Tantai Jin (Luo Yunxi in Till the End of the Moon, China)

Abuse victim/monster/praiseworthy king/xianxia saint/man on the brink - LYX portrayed a character in multiple timelines and many different complexities and did it amazingly. Tantai Jin may or may not win my favorite place on this list, but his performance was hands-down the most glorious thing this year.

Tushan Jing/Ye Shiqi (Deng Wei in Lost You Forever part 1, China)

If before LYF aired someone would have told me that a character played by Deng Wei, an actor I've always found eminently forgettable, would make it on this list and be in the running to win the whole thing actually, I'd have wondered what weird reality they came from. They somehow managed to make someone genuinely good and kind not in the least boring; I am ridiculously invested in the man who managed to keep his soul after all he's been through.

Yun Xiang (Chen Xiao in The Ingenuous One, China)

"Who kissed? I just heard someone kiss!"