In the last few minutes of 2022, here’s a letter to myself.
2022 was hard, very hard. Last year this day, you were in the arms of a loved one, catching fireworks in matching sweaters. Right now, you’re with your laptop, white tulips, and peach tea studying for your upcoming exams.
Things aren’t always as they seem. Be comfortable with being lonely. I noticed how you always rub the back your hands on the jump seat, telling yourself that you did a wonderful job. Yes, you are not a saint, you make mistakes. It’s all okay. At the end of the day, you are aware of the mistakes and you learn from them.
Never stop being kind. I know you might felt indignant at times or think that your kindness goes unreciprocated. No, it’s not true. All of these happiness comes from within. Always choose to be kind.
You went through some serious shit this year. Things that you never expected in your life. Remember what I said? “As long as you’re breathing, you are already moving on.” Moving on is a huge task, but just breathing isn’t. Baby steps.
You forgive, you move on. Whether or not someone steps into your life again, feel whole by yourself. Have goals, have discipline. Eat and live happily. Be good to your parents. Love yourself unconditionally.
Based on what happened, I believe you won’t be trusting anyone in easily. The world isn’t all that bleak, there’s nice people out there. If you don’t go through the bad times, you won’t know how the good times are. You have a lot of battle scars on you, and I think that’s beautiful. The product of your experiences.
I just want to give you a big warm hug. You’re the best, you’re talented, you’re strong, you’re beautiful.
In the next year, I will be actively working towards my goals. I want my driving license, I want my own place. I want to invest more money, I want to give my parents more money.
Alright. Put the past behind and smile Jolene.
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