when your ephemeral sprout is cold and cruel and HEARTLESS
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@ancillaryjurisprudence
when your ephemeral sprout is cold and cruel and HEARTLESS

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actually while i’ve still got this soapbox stuck to my shoe i also wanna say i think culturally we gotta start conceptualizing physical fitness as a productive hobby rather than an obligation
it’s sort of like clothes. there’s a baseline level of involvement with clothing necessary to stay safe from the elements and participate in society. having a variety of different clothing isn’t *strictly* necessary but pretty tangibly helpful. knowing how to do some minor mending and tailoring is nice. once you get into sewing your own clothes, you’re in hobby territory. if you’re making your own textiles from scratch, that is not only definitely a hobby but not something you can expect other people to want to do
the sort of nonsense fitness influencers get up to is sort of like people showing off their homemade silkworm farm and then pointing at everyone else and going “what’s YOUR excuse for wearing a TSHIRT from the STORE???” and actually nvm that would be fucking hilarious. god i wish that was an actual thing can you imagine
#everyone making new year’s resolutions like ‘i’m cutting out polyester and i’m going to build a spinning wheel by may’
@systlin
anyway. last night I had a dream that my local lesbian bar was hosting a “motionless dance party”. it was sort of like the inverse of a silent disco—the music is playing out loud but you’re doing all the dancing inside your own head. it was really successful like a lot of lesbians showed up to stand perfectly still in a room together and imagine what dancing would be like.
y'shtola: good but mean driver. refuses to let people merge. goes 90 on the freeway. if you spill something in her car you have to get the wet wipes from the trunk and clean it up. public radio, the classical station, or science podcasts and will not share the aux. does not make you pay for gas unless you're thancred. has a really nice sedan that smells good. don't ask about her insurance premium.
urianger: genuinely hates driving and only barely got a license at age 18 because moenbryda's parents wanted them to have some form of ID that isn't their passport. passenger seat princess bc they get carsick easily, but also isn't a very good navigator. if they have to drive they go 10 miles under the speed limit and will only take surface streets, no freeways, and will pray to the crystals they keep in their tote bag for protection against malicious forces. will play weird music that isn't great for driving if you let them have the aux.
alphinaud: very good driver, assiduous turn signal user, but drives his dad's tesla (he will eventually get his own prius). always listening to some podcast but will share the aux if you ask (and if there isn't a new episode of pod save eorzea). wants you to pay your share of the gas money.
alisaie: got herself an old used jeep and loves it to death. loves going fast on the freeway. lets you eat in her car and shares her car snacks. has been burning CDs of her playlists so she can play her music in the car. would share the aux with certain friends but nobody carries around CDs. pretty decent driver but can get distracted occasionally, but also probably the most fun to be driven by. wants you to talk with her if you're carpooling with her.
thancred: drives like a dad. will let you have the aux, which you should take because he just puts on whatever rock/alt station he can find and doesn't switch off it if imagine dragons starts playing. has a dented dusty SUV so he's always the one hauling stuff. should probably vacuum it. yells at people when they cut him off.
ryne: still learning how to drive and is extremely anxious about it, but does kind of enjoy it. she gets nervous about driving a big SUV and has been getting some of her hours in with y'shtola since her car is smaller and her corrections make her less anxious than thancred's. a good navigator/copilot. is going to put a beanie baby up on the front dash when she gets her own car.

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tianqi's most popular fucked up little guy
bonus:
If It's Thursday, It Must Be Beverly (S4. E7) Murder, She Wrote
The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.
Doomscrolling on ravelry dot com

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AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."
#‘that goose keeps laying golden eggs. that’s stagnation. I’m going to kill it and go look for a goose that lays diamond eggs’#‘that goose normally lays golden eggs but this time it laid a silver egg. I’m going to kill it because even though I can still make good#money with that it’s not as good as a golden egg’#‘that golden egg laying goose only lays an egg once a day instead of constantly shitting them out. I don’t care that golden eggs take time#if they’re not constant the goose is worthless to me’
@thebaldursmouthgazette y u leave all the good stuff in the tags
break the cycle
The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.
The Blood of Youth (2022) - Extra Epilogue Tang Lian is back!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM
He's been hanging out with the Warrior of Light since ARR. Next question.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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just pirated my ethics textbook. was this wrong of me? who’s to say. i’ll find out soon enough
[Image description: Eleanor from The Good Place with a speech bubble photoshopped on so it looks like she's saying the reblogged text]
THE UNTAMED 陈情令 — 1.03