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Hot Buttered Toast (Tom Hiddleston x Reader)Ā
If Thereās A Place For Me (Loki x Doctor Strange)Ā Ā
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I Was Your FavouriteĀ (Loki x reader) || PART IIĀ
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Chapter 1 - Mother Nature (Soldier Boy x Unnamed OC - Eco-horror themes)
Takes place when Soldier Boy was working with Hughie and Butcher to find Mindstorm.Ā
A/N: ācanāt you just write a normal fluff fic?ā NO. You will get SB caked in wet earth and be happy about it.
About: Forest witch has infected Soldier Boy in a way that he first likes, and then very much doesnāt like. You will find that I put more effort into the fic than into this blurb, which is why I may never be successful as an author.Ā
Word count: 10,706 (I know, I know. Be glad it isnāt the first draft, which was 15K words.)Ā
Trigger warnings: kinda gross if you are not into dirt/soil, creepy forests, and some body horror.Ā
Tag list (you guys liked my other Soldier Boy fic, āFather of God,ā so I hope youāll enjoy this too!) @1inacerulean @sammysweetheart @witch-of-letters @monkievonkie @spnfamily-j2 @mornixgstar18 @glowingtoenails @kathypellar @spookybitchdreams @chxrrybomb22 @calyyypsooo @audreybea @ladykitana90 @happinessisaloadedgun @kizzylori @babesplzreadthz @blissfulwatermelons-blog @porcelanalux @nbhrhn @welikeclownsinthishouse @inkmm0ne @nightlark100 @prettybiching @monteyli77 @delightfulmusictiger @valencia-somerhalder-morgan @brainmp4 @verco @lmillsy97 @mathews78 @stellervoid @winterstar67 @whereve-e-r-you-are @lawrence-d777
----------------------------
Mother Nature - Chapter 1
The forest was always quietest before the predator pounced.Ā
Soldier Boy had been in enough jungles, enough war zones, enough godforsaken stretches of nowhere to know when a place was holding its breath. No birdsong. No frantic scratch of squirrels in the brush. No insects worrying at the bark. Even the wind seemed to move carefully, slipping between the trees without disturbing them.
Something was hunting.
That was fine by him.Ā
So was he.
He had a rifle in his hands, mud on his boots, and irritation carved deep between his brows. The whole place smelled wet and old and honest in a way that annoyed him. He preferred battlefields after the smoke cleared. Concrete. Gun oil. Blood drying in the sun.Ā
Things a man could understand.
This?Ā
This was trees whispering to each other like old women at church.
Mindstorm had run this way.
Soldier Boy knew it in his bones, in the little twitch at the base of his skull that came with years of being a good tracker. Mindstorm was fast, but not fast enough. Panicked people always left signs.Ā
He spied a flash of movement between two pines.
Butcher and Hughie were somewhere behind him⦠or to the left. Or dead.
He didnāt know, and right now he didnāt particularly care. He could only track one bastard at a time, and the bastard currently at the top of his list had a brain that could turn a man inside out without laying a finger on him.
Soldier Boy slowed when he saw him.
Mindstorm darted between the trees ahead, one hand pressed to his side, his shoulders hunched as if he could make himself smaller. His breathing came in ragged bursts. The man was afraid.
Mindstorm glanced back.
Soldier Boy immediately looked down, jaw tight. He stared at the manās boots instead, at the mud kicking up behind them, at the blur of his legs as he vanished deeper into the woods.
āNot today, you glassy-eyed son of a bitch,ā Soldier Boy muttered.
He broke into a run.
Branches whipped his face. Cold air tore through his lungs. Beneath him, the ground softened, becoming less snow and stone and more rot, more black soil. Each step sank deeper than it should have. The forest thickened with the rude confidence of something that did not want him there.
Up ahead, Mindstorm burst into a clearing.
Soldier Boy stopped just short of it, one hand closing around the trunk of a tree. He leaned out enough to see without offering his eyes.
There was a girl in the clearing.
No. Not a girl. A young woman, maybe. It was hard to tell at first because the woods seemed to have claimed her. She was filthy. Her dress, or shirt, or whatever ragged thing hung on her body, was smeared with mud and leaf-stain. Her hair was tangled with burrs and pine needles. Her bare feet were blackened up to the ankles. She looked exhausted in a way that went way past hunger, way past cold, way past merely being lost in the woods.Ā
She looked like someone the forest had chewed up and not yet decided whether to swallow.
Mindstorm saw her too.
Soldier Boy could see the exact second the idea hit him.
Coward.
Mindstorm staggered toward her, his head lifting. The woman turned.
For one strange moment, she did not look afraid. Her eyes moved over Mindstorm slowly, as if she had been expecting someone to come through the trees eventually and was almost disappointed by what had arrived.
Then Mindstorm caught her gaze.
Her body locked as a sound tore out of her. Her knees hit the mud, and her hands flew to her head, fingers clawing into her hair as if she could dig him out. She bent forward, back arching, every muscle in her body straining.
Then she began to cry. A thin, terrible, broken sound that scraped against the cold air and seemed to go up into the branches. She writhed on the ground, heels dragging trenches through the mud, her mouth open around words that would not come.
Mindstorm stood over her, panting, one hand trembling at his side.
Soldier Boyās grip tightened around the rifle.
Something else was wrong.
The soil under Mindstorm and the girl had begun to vibrate.
At first, Soldier Boy thought it was him. Maybe Mindstorm was fucking with his brain somehow, or it was adrenaline or rage. Maybe some tremor in his hands from having this bastard so close.Ā
But no. The mud was shivering. Pine needles trembled. Little beads of water quivered in the moss.Ā
And the smell.
āJesus,ā Soldier Boy breathed.
Earth.
That was the only word for it, and it was a dumb goddamn word because he was standing in a forest. Of course it smelled like earth. But this was different. It was too muchātoo rich, like rain on soil, but deeper. Like something buried had opened its mouth. Like wet roots and mushrooms and old leaves mashed into the back of his tongue. It didnāt just sit in his nose. It seemed to be inside him⦠the walls of his nostrils, his lungs, in his throat, his eyes, between his teeth.Ā
That did it.
Soldier Boy moved like a cat.Ā
Mindstorm never heard him.
He crossed the clearing in three hard, silent strides, came up behind the twitching bastard, and grabbed his head with both hands.
Mindstorm barely had time to gasp before Soldier Boy twisted his neck.Ā
The crack sounded obscenely small in the clearing.
Mindstormās body went slack and dropped.
Everything stopped.
For a few seconds, there was only Soldier Boy breathing hard through his nose and the soft patter of snowmelt dripping from branches. He stared down at Mindstormās body, waiting for some last trick. Some last twitch. Some last psychic little fuck-you.
Nothing.
The woman lay on her side in the mud, catching her breath. Then, slowly, she pushed herself up.
Her hands sank into the soil. Her fingers spread against it, trembling. Her head bowed, hair hanging over her face. She breathed once. Twice. Three times. Then she looked up at him.
Her eyes were clear. Too clear. Dark and damp-looking. She looked at him with the stunned softness of someone waking from a nightmare.
āThank you,ā she said.
Her voice was quiet. Almost gentle. Soldier Boy snorted because that was easier than thinking about the way sheād said it.
āYouāre welāā
The word died halfway out. Mindstormās body moved.
Not on its own.
The earth moved around him. Vines rose from the mud.
Soldier Boy took one step back.
They came up slowly at first, thin as cords, slick and black and green, some alive and glossy, others half-rotten, splitting at the seams, leaking brown pulp. They slid over Mindstormās boots, his legs, his torso. One curled around his wrist with almost tender patience.
Then they found his face.
The vines pushed into Mindstormās mouth. His dead jaw opened wider than it should have.
More came. Into his ears. His nostrils. The corners of his eyes. One fat black root punched through the soft place beneath his ribs with a wet crack. Another threaded itself into the hollow of his throat.
Soldier Boy watched, disgust tightening his mouth, as the body began to sink.
The earth softened beneath Mindstorm like a bed being made. Mud rose around him. His chest caved inward as something below pulled. His head tilted back, mouth stuffed full of roots, eyes already clouding as pale mushrooms pushed up through the skin of his cheek.
And then it stopped.Ā
He lay there among churned mud and a few trembling vines.Ā
Soldier Boy looked at the woman.
āThat you?āĀ
She was sitting on her knees in the mud. Her breathing had steadied. Her face was streaked with tears, dirt, and something faintly green beneath the skin near her jaw.
āYeah,ā she said.
Soldier Boy stared.
āThatās fucking disgusting.ā
She didnāt flinch. She didnāt look offended. In fact, she smiled. It was small. Tired. Almost amused.
āItās not disgusting once youāre in it.ā
Soldier Boyās brows lifted.
āLucky for me, I donāt want to find out.ā
Her smile widened by the tiniest degree. For a second, neither of them moved. Then Soldier Boy became aware that she was looking at him.
Not the way people usually looked at him. Not with awe or fear. Not even, to his disappointment, like a woman who spied a man built like a wall. This was different.Ā
This was assessment.
She studied his chest first, the rise and fall of it. His shoulders. His hands. The mud on his boots. The place where his heart must be under armor and muscle and years of government lies. Her gaze moved over him like fingers testing fruit for bruises.
He was still breathing hard. He hated that she noticed.
āWe got a problem?ā he asked.
She tilted her head. The forest tilted with her. Or maybe it only felt that way.
āNo,ā she said slowly. āBut I think you do.ā
Soldier Boyās mouth opened.
Then he felt it.
A pressure under his ribs.
Small at first. Like someone had slipped a thumb between the bones and pressed upward. Then, his nostrils flared. The smell of earth thickened. A cough climbed into his throat. Not a normal cough. Not smoke or dust. This was something trying to become a word. Something trying to come up with roots.
He swallowed it down. It pushed back.
Soldier Boyās eyes snapped to her.
That was the moment he understood.
āWhat the fuck did you do to me?ā he demanded.
The cough broke out of him before he could stop it. It bent him forward, one hand bracing on his knee. The sound was rough, violent, ugly. He tasted metal. Soil. Rainwater.
The woman rose slowly to her feet.
āDonāt fight it,ā she said.
Softly. Like she was comforting him. Like he was the frightened thing. Soldier Boy reacted exactly how he should have.
Violently.
His chest lit.Ā
The light started beneath the armor, a hot, nuclear glow blooming through seams and cracks. The air snapped tight around him. Leaves lifted off the ground. The womanās hair blew back from her face, revealing the sudden wideness of her eyes.
Good. Fear looked better on her.
āBack up,ā he snarled.
She didnāt. So he let go.
The blast ripped through the clearing.
Gold-white fire exploded from his chest and slammed into her hard enough to throw her off her feet. Her body flew backward through brush and snow and brittle branches. Trees snapped behind her. Birds erupted from the canopy in a black, frantic storm.
The vines shriveled instantly.
The mud steamed.
Mushrooms burst and blackened.
The whole clearing flashed hot and bright, turning winter into one violent second of summer death.
Spores burned gold in the air. Millions of them. They glittered around him like dust in church light, like ash, like tiny suns dying one by one.
Soldier Boy fell to one knee.
The cough tore through him again.
This time it hurt.
Something inside his chest burned with him, a bright little shard of pain lodged under his ribs. He pressed a fist to his sternum and breathed through clenched teeth.
The forest crackled.
Charred branches fell. Steam rose from the mud. The air smelled scorched now, the rich earth stink beaten back under smoke and heat.
He spat into the dirt.
āYeah,ā he rasped. āThatās what I thought.ā
For one beautiful second, he believed it.
He believed the thing inside him had burned with the rest of it. He believed the woman was dead. He believed the world still worked the way it was supposed to work: man hits harder, man wins.
Then something moved beyond the broken trees.
Soldier Boy lifted his head.
She got up. Slowly. Awkwardly. Like a woman climbing out of her own grave.
Her clothes were burned. Her skin was blackened across one shoulder, one cheek, the side of her throat. Her hair smoked. One hand hung at a strange angle.
She looked down at herself. Then at the forest around her.
The scorched trees. The steaming mud. The dead vines.
For the first time, she seemed truly surprised.
She blinked.
Then she closed her eyes and lifted her face toward the canopy.
The forest answered⦠a wet, tearing sound echoed across the floor, then the ground split. Roots punched up through mud and melted snow, thick and pale and obscene, twisting over one another like intestines pulled from the earth. Luminous mushrooms erupted in clusters where Mindstormās body lay, fat white caps breaking through black soil, then blue ones, then bruised purple growths that pulsed at the edges.
Black vines crawled up the scorched trees, invading. They wrapped around burned bark and squeezed until flakes of charcoal fell away. New bark pushed through underneath, too fast, too wet, the color of raw flesh before deepening into brown. New leaves unfurled in violent shudders. Moss spread across stones in crawling patches.
It was not beautiful⦠it was far too greedy for that.Ā
A cancer of green.
Soldier Boy stared as the blast radius healed itself badly, eagerly, hungrily.
Her burned skin knit back together, too.Ā
Not cleanly, like some shiny supe trick Vought would show in their films. The blackened parts split open and flushed green underneath before turning brown, then red, then skin again. Tiny filaments crawled across her cheek and sank beneath the surface. Her broken wrist snapped back into place with a soft, woody crack.
The spores heād burned were still everywhere, golden motes drifting through the clearing, settling into mud, bark, wounds, breath.
Fuel.
His blast had been fuel.
She finally opened her eyes.
āThatāsā¦ā He swallowed, the movement rough. āThatās not supposed to happen.ā
The woman stared at her own hands. She looked as unsettled as he felt. Then her gaze flicked to his chest. A strange expression crossed her face.
Recognition, maybe.
Or hunger.
Soldier Boy straightened.
āHey,ā he snapped. āDonāt look at me like that.ā
She took a step back. Then another. The forest behind her seemed to make room.
āWhere the fuck do you think youāre going?ā
She stepped behind a tree.
Soldier Boy moved after her immediately, boots tearing through the soft, restless mud. He circled the trunk fast, Glock up.
Nothing.
No woman. Not even a footprint.Ā
Soldier Boy stood there, breathing hard.
āWhat,ā he said.
The forest dripped. He turned once, slowly, scanning the trees.
āThe.ā
A breeze moved through the branches.Ā
āFuck.ā
Behind him, someone crashed through brush with all the grace of a drunk bear.
āOi!ā a voice cut through the trees. āSoldier Boy!ā
Soldier Boy lowered the rifle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. The cough waited under his ribs. He forced it down.
Butcher appeared first, coat swinging, eyes sharp. Hughie stumbled after him, pale and breathless, one hand braced on a tree.
Butcherās gaze moved over the clearing before settling on the body.Ā
āBloody hell,ā Butcher said. āIs that Mindstorm?ā
Hughie took one step closer and immediately regretted it.
āOh my God.ā He pressed a hand over his mouth. āJesus, what happened to him? He looks like heās been decomposing for a week.ā
Soldier Boy rolled his shoulders.
āYeah, well.ā He cleared his throat. It came out rougher than he wanted. āAll in a dayās work.ā
Butcher looked at him. Soldier Boy pretended not to notice.
āLetās go,ā he said. āI need a damn drink.ā
He started past them. The cough hit halfway through the first step. He stopped, bent slightly, and coughed hard into his fist.
Once.
Twice.
The third one dragged something up from deep in his chest, wet and dark and burning. For a second, his vision speckled gold.
Hughieās expression changed.
āUh⦠you okay, man?ā
Soldier Boy straightened too fast.
āIām fine, Nancy.ā
Soldier Boy walked on, and as he moved closer to Butcher, the other manās face shifted.Ā
It was subtle. Butcher was good at being subtle when he wanted to be ā tiny tightening around the eyes, slight flare of the nostrils. His gaze dropped to Soldier Boyās chest, then rose to his face.
Soldier Boy stopped.
āWhat?ā
Butcher gave him a slow once-over.
āNothing.ā
āDidnāt look like nothing.ā
āThen youād know, wouldnāt you?ā
Soldier Boy leaned in a fraction. Butcher didnāt move. For a second, the two men stood close enough for violence to become a language.
Then Hughie coughed awkwardly.
āHey, maybe we can do the macho staring contest somewhere that doesnāt have corpse mushrooms?ā
Butcherās eyes stayed on Soldier Boy one second longer.
Then he smiled.
Not warmly.
āCome on then,ā he said. āDrinkās on you.ā
***
The diner looked like every diner Soldier Boy remembered, and none of them at the same time.
Red vinyl booths. Chrome edges. Fluorescent lights buzzing overhead. A pie display by the register, sweating sugar under a plastic dome. Coffee that smelled rancid but did the job.Ā
He liked it immediately.
A waitress at the counter dropped a spoon as soon as heād entered. Another woman, older, with a pencil tucked into her hair, pressed a hand to her chest. A college-aged girl sitting with two friends stopped chewing her food.
Soldier Boy smirked.
āFinally,ā he said. āCivilization.ā
āThat what we calling this?ā Butcher muttered.
They took a booth near the window. Soldier Boy sat facing the room because he wasnāt an idiot. Butcher slid in across from him. Hughie sat beside Butcher and reached for the sticky laminated menu.
The waitress appeared before theyād even settled.
She was blonde, middle-aged, tired around the eyes, and suddenly smiling like sheād discovered God had shoulders.
āWell,ā she said. āWhat can I get you boys?ā
āCoffee,ā Butcher said.
āSame,ā Hughie added. āPlease.ā
Soldier Boy leaned back.
āWhiskey.ā
The waitress laughed. Then stopped when he didnāt.
āHoney, we donāt serve whiskey.ā
āThen whyād you ask?ā
Her cheeks flushed. Butcher rubbed a hand over his face.
āCoffee for him too.ā
āAnd pie,ā Soldier Boy said.
āWhat kind?ā
He looked toward the display.
āApple.ā
The waitress smiled again, too wide. āOn the house.ā
Hughie looked up.
āOh. Cool. Uh, could I maybe getāā
She had already walked away. Hughieās mouth stayed open for half a second.
āGreat,ā he said, turning to Soldier Boy. āHappy for you.ā
Soldier Boy grinned.
āDonāt hate the player.ā
āIām not hating the player. Iām hating the sociological structure surrounding the player.ā
Butcher snorted. The pie came first. The waitress set it in front of Soldier Boy with a fork and a little extra whipped cream melting at the edge.
āFor you,ā she said.
She blushed, as if she had confessed something. Butcher stared at the pie.
āAny chance our coffeeās coming before the Second Coming?ā
The waitress blinked, as if noticing him for the first time.
āOh. Right. Sorry.ā
She left. Soldier Boy took a bite of pie. It was sickly sweet. He ate it anyway.
āStill got it,ā he said, his mouth full.Ā
Hughie watched the waitress refill coffee at three other tables and skip theirs entirely.
āYeah. This is magical.ā
At first, Soldier Boy enjoyed it. Of course he did.
People kept looking. Women especially. Some openly. Some pretending not to. One woman at the counter turned fully around on her stool and just watched him lift his fork to his mouth like it was an event.
It was good. It was familiar. It was proof that whatever had happened in the woods was behind him.
Then it got weird.
A man in a trucker hat near the window leaned forward and sniffed.
Soldier Boy paused with the fork halfway to his mouth.
The man looked embarrassed and immediately stared down at his plate.
Soldier Boyās eyes narrowed.
Another woman walked past their booth on the way to the restroom and slowed as she passed him. Her pupils were huge. She looked dazed. Not aroused, not exactly afraid. More like she had heard music no one else could hear.
āYou smell nice,ā she whispered.
Hughie slowly lowered his menu. Soldier Boy turned his head.
āWhat?ā
The woman blinked, horrified by herself.
āIām sorry,ā she said quickly. āI donāt know why I said that.ā
Butcher went very still. Soldier Boy looked at him.
āDonāt.ā
Butcher lifted both hands.
āWouldnāt dream of it.ā
The waitress finally returned with coffee. She filled Butcherās cup. Then Soldier Boyās. Then, instead of moving to Hughieās, she stood there staring at Soldier Boyās hand where it rested on the table.
Hughie waited. His empty cup waited.
The universe waited.
āCoffee?ā Hughie prompted.
The waitress startled.
āOh! Sorry.ā
She poured. Missed half the cup. Coffee splashed into the saucer.
āWow,ā Hughie said softly. āI may be invisible.ā
At the booth behind them, someone began to cry. It wasnāt loud; just a sudden, quiet hitching sob, but enough to make Soldier Boy turn and see a young woman, maybe twenty, sitting with both hands over her mouth. Tears ran down her face. Her friends looked alarmed.
āKayla?ā one of them said. āBabe, whatās wrong?ā
The crying girl stared at Soldier Boy.
āMy grandma,ā she said.
Soldier Boy stared back.
āWhat?ā
āMy grandma used to smell like fresh earth after rain, too.ā
Silence spread through the diner. Hughieās face did something complicated. Butcher looked down at his coffee, lips twitching.
Soldier Boy set his fork down slowly.
āOkay?ā
The girl sobbed harder.
āShe died when I was twelve.ā
āYeah, well.ā He shifted in his seat. āSorry about that.ā
āThat was almost sensitive,ā Hughie whispered.
Soldier Boy kicked him under the table.
āOw!ā
The girlās friend pulled her close, glaring at Soldier Boy like he had personally resurrected the memory of Grandma. Soldier Boy leaned toward Butcher.
āWhat the fuck is happening?ā
Butcher took a sip of coffee.
āFuckinā beats me.āĀ
Soldier Boyās expression darkened.Ā
Another person passed by and looked back at Soldier Boy with that same unfocused softness.
Like recognition.
Like longing.
Soldier Boy felt the pressure under his ribs again. This time, it was less pain and more⦠movement. Something unfurling inside of him, desperate to spread but being actively suppressed.Ā
He coughed once into his fist.
Butcher saw it. Hughie saw Butcher seeing it. Soldier Boy saw both of them and hated them for it.
āI said Iām fine.ā
āNo one said anything,ā Hughie replied.
āYou were about to.ā
āI was actually about to ask for my coffee to be refilled, but apparently thatās too much to expect.ā
Soldier Boy stood, and the diner turned with him. Heads lifted. Eyes followed. A spoon clinked against a plate and kept clinking because the hand holding it had started to tremble.
He had been watched before.Ā
This was not being watched. This was being hunted.
āWeāre leaving. Now.ā
Butcher did not argue. That was how Soldier Boy knew it was bad.
***
The motel sat off the road behind a dying neon sign that promised VACANCY in red letters and threatened tetanus in every other detail.
The woods pressed close behind it. They rose up beyond the parking lot in a thick black wall of pine and bare branches, decorative during the day and carnivorous at night.
Soldier Boy stood outside the office and stared at them.
The pressure under his ribs pulsed once.
He looked away.
Inside, the lobby smelled like dust, lemon cleaner, and an ashtray someone had lied about emptying. A small bell sat on the counter. Behind it, an old woman in a cardigan flipped slowly through a paperback with a shirtless cowboy on the cover.
Butcher rang the bell.
The woman looked up, and her eyes went straight past Butcher to Soldier Boy. She stared. Her expression emptied.
Not attraction, that would have been easier. This was recognition again. Slow and deep and wrong.
Butcher snapped his fingers in front of her face.
āOi,ā Butcher said. āKeys.ā
She didnāt move. She barely breathed.Ā
āLady?ā Butcher insisted. āWe paid for two rooms. Unless youāre planning to tuck us in yourself, hand over the keys.ā
The old woman blinked.
āOh,ā she said.
She reached below the counter and brought up two keys attached to ugly green plastic tags. But when she held them out, she did not look at Butcher.
She looked at Soldier Boy.
āThe woods behind the motel are nice,ā she said.
Hughie accepted one key because Butcher did not.
āOkay,ā Hughie said carefully. āThanks?ā
The old woman kept staring.
āEspecially after rains.ā
Soldier Boyās throat tightened. Butcher took the second key from her hand.
āSure. Weāll be sure to leave a glowing review for the haunted shrubbery.ā
They walked out. The night air hit colder than before. Soldier Boy stopped at the edge of the parking lot. The woods behind the motel stood dark and patient.
For one second, he thought he saw her there.
Between two trees. Dirty face. Dark eyes. Head tilted.
He looked harder and saw nothing. Only pine trunks.Ā
Hughie came up beside him.
āDid you see something?ā
Soldier Boyās jaw worked.
āNo.ā
Butcher stood a few feet away, watching him with that sharp, mean patience of his. Soldier Boy looked at the woods one last time.
Deep in his chest, something shifted like a root finding softer ground.
***
The motel room smelled like damp carpet, stale cigarettes, cheap soap, and whatever sins the previous guests had succeeded in hiding from the cleaning lady.
Soldier Boy improved it by lighting another cigarette.
He sat in the armchair by the bed, one boot planted on the stained carpet, the other ankle hooked over his knee like he was posing for a recruiting poster nobody had asked for. The TV was on mute, washing blue light over the peeling wallpaper. A woman on-screen laughed soundlessly at something a man in a suit had said. Outside, wind dragged itself along the windows.
Hughie sat at the little desk near the corner, laptop open, one knee bouncing so fast it made the chair squeak.
Butcher had taken the bed nearest the door without asking. He was cleaning his gun with the sort of tenderness he reserved only for weapons.
Soldier Boy exhaled smoke toward the ceiling. Hughie coughed once. Soldier Boy ignored him. Hughie coughed again, more pointedly.
āYou know,ā Hughie said, turning in his chair, āsecondhand smoke is still, like, a thing.ā
Soldier Boy looked at him.
āSoās first-hand shutting the fuck up.ā
Hughie opened his mouth, thought better of it, then got up. He crossed the room and pulled back the curtain.
The window groaned when he shoved it open. Cold air slipped into the room at once, sharp and wet, carrying the smell of pine and dark earth from the woods behind the motel.
Soldier Boyās cigarette paused halfway to his mouth.
The smell found him too quickly. It crawled under the smoke. Under the stale carpet and the chemical lemon of the bathroom cleaner. It slid into his nose like a finger pressing against a bruise.
His ribs tightened. He drew on the cigarette anyway.
Hughie leaned toward the open window, breathing in the cold air like it was saving his life. Then he went still.
āUhā¦ā Hughie said.
Butcher didnāt look up from his gun.
āWhat?ā
āButcher?ā
That got Butcherās attention. The small, horrified lift in Hughieās voice, the part he could never completely kill despite the horrors, always did.Ā
Butcher rose and crossed the room.
āWhat is it?ā
Hughie pointed down. Butcher looked out the window.Ā
Three people stood in the parking lot below. The crying girl from the diner. The trucker-hat man who had sniffed the air like an embarrassed bloodhound. The waitress who had forgotten Hughieās coffee and stared at Soldier Boyās hands like they were religious artifacts.
They were standing under the motelās flickering exterior light, faces tipped upward. They all looked desperate and hopeful and loving. The girl had tears shining on her cheeks. Her mouth trembled with the effort of holding something back. The trucker-hat man clutched his cap against his chest. The waitress stood with both hands folded beneath her chin, her expression soft and ruined.
They were looking up at the motel window.
Butcher squinted.
āThose the cunts from the diner?ā
āLooks like it,ā Hughie said.
Hughie slowly backed away from the window.
āAre we being watched?ā
Soldier Boy stood.
The old floorboards creaked under his weight as he crossed the room. Hughie moved aside before being moved aside. Butcher stayed at the window, jaw tight, eyes tracking the three figures below.
Soldier Boy looked down.
The waitress smiled. It was not flirtatious now. There was only worship in it, and not the kind he got off on watching as he fucked a woman.Ā
Soldier Boyās face changed. He grabbed the window and slammed it shut. The old frame rattled. He yanked the curtains closed with enough force to nearly rip them off the rod.
For a second, no one said anything.
The room felt smaller with the curtains shut. The cigarette smoke hung low and thick. Butcher was still standing close to him.
Too close.
Soldier Boy turned just in time to see Butcher inhale.
It was subtle. Involuntary. A small flare of his nostrils, a tiny pull of breath through the nose, but Soldier Boy saw it.
His head snapped toward him.
āDid you just fucking smell me?ā
Butcher froze.
āNo, I didnāt.ā
āYou did.ā
āI did not.ā
āYou just sniffed me like a goddamn dog.ā
Butcherās eyes narrowed.
āDonāt flatter yourself.ā
Soldier Boy stepped toward him.
āWhat the fuck is wrong with all of you?ā
Butcher looked annoyed. Then he looked, for half a second, unsettled.
āLook, mate,ā he said, voice rougher than usual, āyou look like a war crime, but you smell like a pine forest. Itās a little odd, considering weāve been asking you to take a fucking shower and you refuse to.ā
Hughie made a tiny, strangled noise. Soldier Boy turned on him.
āWhat?ā
āNothing. Just⦠accurate.ā
Soldier Boy pointed at him with the cigarette.
āYou wanna join the parking lot fan club?ā
āNo. Very much no.ā
Soldier Boy shoved the cigarette between his teeth and stalked toward the bathroom.
āWhatever. I have to take a leak.ā
He had barely made it two steps before Butcherās hand closed around his arm.
It was fast. Too fast for him to have thought about it. Fingers around his bicep. A grip meant to stop him.
Soldier Boy stopped.
Slowly, he looked down at the hand touching him. Butcher looked down, too. For one stupid, stunned second, both of them stared at the contact as though it had happened without either of their permission.
Then Soldier Boy lifted his gaze.
āWhat do you think youāre doing?āĀ
Butcher let go immediately. He flexed his hand once, like he didnāt recognize it.
āNo idea why I did that.ā
Soldier Boy glared at him. Butcher glared back. It should have ended there.
It didnāt.
Because Butcher was breathing.
And every breath dragged more of Soldier Boy in.
The scent had gotten worse in the closed room, thickening under the smoke. Pine needles crushed under boots. Wet bark split open. Soil after rain. Something green and ancient and darkly clean beneath the layer of blood, leather, ash, and masculine rot Soldier Boy usually carried.
Butcherās nostrils flared again.
His eyes flicked down.
To Soldier Boyās mouth.
Then lower.
To his chest.
Then back up.
Something ugly and alarmed went through Butcherās face. Soldier Boy moved before anyone could blink. He caught Butcher by the throat, lifted him off his feet, and slammed him into the wall, teeth bared.Ā
The lamp rattled. Hughie yelped. Butcherās gun hit the carpet.
āWhat the fuck are you looking at?ā Soldier Boy snarled.
Butcher grabbed his wrist with both hands, boots kicking once against the wall. Hughie surged forward. Soldier Boy didnāt even look at him.
āTake one more step, and Iāll put you through the fucking ceiling.ā
Hughie stopped, hands half-raised.
āOkay. Okay. Nobodyās going through any ceilings. They charge for damages.ā
Butcherās face had gone red.
āYouāre fuckinā paranoid,ā he choked out. āFuckinā fossil.ā
Soldier Boy tightened his grip. Butcherās eyes watered. Hughieās voice jumped an octave.
āHey, Soldier Boy, just lay off the weed, maybe?ā
Soldier Boy finally looked at him.
āHow about you gargle my ballsack?ā
Hughie recoiled.
āWow. Okay.ā
Soldier Boy jerked his chin toward Butcher.
āBet your boy Butcher would like that. Looking at me like he wants to take me to fucking prom.ā
Even while being strangled, Butcher managed to look offended.
āPut me down, ya cunt!ā
Soldier Boy held him there for another second. Just one. Long enough to make a point. Long enough to feel Butcherās pulse hammering against his palm. Long enough for something uncomfortable under his own ribs to answer it.
A faint pressure, begging to be set free. The shrapnel in his chest, burning a hole.Ā
Soldier Boy dropped him.
Butcher hit the carpet hard, coughing and cursing. Soldier Boy stepped back, breathing through his nose.
āDonāt fucking look at me again.ā
He walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Inside, the air was worse.
The bathroom was tiled in a yellow that had once been optimistic and was now only damp. A strip light buzzed above the mirror. The sink had rust around the drain and a crack running from one corner like a vein.
Soldier Boy gripped the edge of the basin and looked at himself.
He looked fine. Of course he looked fine. His hair was a little dirty. His jaw was shadowed. His eyes were bloodshot from smoke, lack of sleep, and being surrounded by idiots. But he looked like himself. Solid. Unkillable.Ā
Then the cough came, and it folded him in half.Ā
He slammed one hand against the sink and coughed hard enough to make the mirror tremble. The sound tore through him from somewhere deep and wrong, somewhere below the lungs, below the ribs.
He spat into the basin.
Black specks dotted the porcelain.
Red blood spread around them in thin, watery lines.
Then something else came out.
Thin and pale, almost white. Like a hair.Ā
Soldier Boy stared.
The hair curled, all by itself, on the porcelain. It was slow and deliberate, almost like it was assessing its environment.Ā
Soldier Boy recoiled so hard his hand crushed the edge of the sink. A crack shot through it with a sharp pop.
āMotherfucker.ā
The thing twitched toward the blood. He slapped the tap on and let water blast into the basin. The hair clung to the porcelain for half a second, impossibly strong, its pale thread bending under the pressure.
Then it vanished down the drain.
Soldier Boy stood there with both hands braced on either side of the sink, breathing hard.
His reflection looked back at him.Ā
For the first time all night, it did not look entirely convinced by him.
He turned the water hotter. Steam began to rise.
He rinsed the sink until the blood was gone. Then he rinsed it again. Then he cupped water in his hands and splashed his mouth like he could wash out whatever was already growing in there.
When he came out, Butcher was waiting in the hall.
That alone was enough to make him suspicious. Butcher did not wait outside bathrooms. Butcher did not hover. Butcher did not have the emotional range for concern or care unless it served him to be that way.
He stood with one shoulder against the wall, arms crossed, throat still faintly red where Soldier Boyās hand had been. His eyes lifted immediately.
āYou sick?ā
āNo.ā
āYou look like shit.ā
āI always look good.ā
āYou coughed like a dying old man.āĀ
Soldier Boyās face hardened.
āYou been listening to me piss too?ā
Butcherās jaw flexed. He was standing too close again. Close enough that Soldier Boy saw the exact moment he caught the scent. The way his face tightened, like a man taking a punch and refusing to show it.
āStep the fuck back,ā Soldier Boy said.
āOh, donāt start again.ā
āIāll finish it.ā
āYeah, yeah. Big man. Nuclear tits. We all know.ā
Soldier Boy took one slow step toward him. Butcher did not move. Behind them, Hughie appeared in the doorway of the room, laptop forgotten in one hand.
āOkay,ā Hughie said carefully. āLook. Something happened to you in that forest.ā
Both men turned to him.
āAnd,ā Hughie pushed on, voice going a little faster because fear always made him more honest, āinstead of dealing with that, you two are doing this⦠whatever this is.ā
Butcher looked at him flatly.
āWhatās that supposed to mean?ā
Hughie looked between them. The red mark on Butcherās throat. Soldier Boyās clenched jaw. The air in the hallway, thick with pine and smoke and testosterone and something that did not belong indoors.
āCan we just talk about it instead of trying to kill each other?ā Hughie asked.
Then, because Hughie apparently had a death wish, he added, āOr⦠fuck each other?ā
Silence. Soldier Boy moved. Hughie squeaked and threw one hand up.
āIām sorry! Bad timing! Very bad read of the room!ā
Soldier Boy was halfway to punching him when the cough hit again. Harder this time. It came out of nowhere and seized him by the ribs, dragging him sideways into the wall. He caught himself with one hand, fingers digging into the peeling wallpaper.
Butcherās face changed. Hughie forgot to be scared.
āJesus, are you oāā
A knock sounded at the door. All three of them froze.
Three taps against wood practically falling apart. Not housekeeping, too soft for that. Probably someone more careful.Ā
āWhat?ā he called.
For a moment, there was nothing. Then a womanās voice came through the door.
āPlease,ā she said. āLet me in.ā
Hughieās face went pale. Butcher lifted the gun. Soldier Boy stared at the door.
The voice was not the waitress or the old woman from the front desk. Younger, maybe. Trembling. Wet with longing.Ā
Butcher stepped closer to the door, gun angled low.
āWho are you?ā
āPlease,ā the voice said again.
A hand pressed against the outside of the door. They could hear it. A soft drag of palm against painted wood.
āI just⦠I need to see him. Please.āĀ
Hughie and Butcher both looked at Soldier Boy. Ordinarily, that would have been his cue. He should have smirked. Made some comment about women being unable to resist him. Said something crude enough to make Hughie wish he had been born without ears.
But the joke did not come.
Because there was too much to this now. Some rot that had settled in his lungs, some inexplicable mojo drawing old women, young women, old men, violent men, to him. And the fucking cough⦠the feeling of something lodged in his chest, desperately trying to get out.Ā
And underneath all of it, deep where arrogance usually sat, something small and cold had opened its eyes.
Fear.
Butcher saw it.
āFuck off, lady,ā Butcher called.
Silence.
A second later, a small sob, followed by soft footsteps pitter-pattering away.Ā
Butcher kept the gun trained on the door for a few more seconds before stepping back.
āRight,ā Hughie said, rubbing both hands over his face. āLetās just try to sleep, okay? Which is an insane thing to say, because there are woodland groupies outside, but Iāve had enough weird shit for today.ā
No one answered.
Hughie pointed toward the adjoining wall.
āIāll be in the next room tracking the other supes in Soldier Boyās old crew. Try to stay alive till morning.ā
He looked between Soldier Boy and Butcher again.
āSeparately, ideally.ā
Soldier Boy gave him a look that promised future violence. Hughie nodded.
āYep. Goodnight.ā
He slipped into the next room and shut the door. Butcher dragged the motel chair under the handle of the main door. Soldier Boy watched him do it.
āThink thatās gonna stop something?ā
āNo,ā Butcher said. āBut itāll make me feel less stupid.ā
For once, Soldier Boy had nothing to say to that.
They did not talk after.
Butcher took the bed by the door. Soldier Boy took the other one, boots still on, one arm folded beneath his head. The TV stayed on mute. Blue light flickered over the ceiling. Outside, the wind moved through the trees behind the motel.
Soldier Boy shut his eyes.
Sleep took him badlyā¦
He was on the ground.
Cold, black soil beneath his back. Wet enough to soak through his clothes. The sky above him was gone, replaced by a ceiling of roots, thick and knotted, woven together like veins under skin. Somewhere above those roots was the world, but he could not see it anymore.
He was bleeding. He knew that before he saw it. He felt it leaving him.
Warmth spilling from his chest, his mouth, his palms, his ribs. Blood ran down his sides and into the soil beneath him. It should have hurt. It should have enraged him. He should have fought, should have cursed, should have clawed his way upward and found something to kill.
Instead, relief washed through him so strong, it was almost pleasure.
There had been too much blood in him, anyway.Ā
That was the thought.
Too much blood. Too much heat. Too much noise. Too much old violence packed under skin and muscle. His body had been a sealed thing for too longāa bunker, a weapon, a fist refusing to open.
Now it was opening. Now he was emptying.
The soil drank greedily.
He could feel it. Every drop taken. Every wound welcomed. The earth beneath him softened around his back like a mouth, like a bed, like hands.
He was getting lighter.
Freer.
Happier.
His armor sank first. Then his shoulders.
The soil closed around his arms, hugging him gently. Mud pushed between his fingers with almost tender pressure. Roots brushed his wrists. Worms moved near his knuckles, blind and purposeful. Beetles clicked in hidden pockets of earth. Fungal threads stretched in pale webs through the darkness, finer than hair, connecting root to root, bone to seed, rot to beauty.
He saw things he should not have been able to see.
A dead fox curled beneath a cedar, ribs clean and skull full of moss.
A century of leaves pressed into black memory.
White larvae turning blindly in the sweet meat of a fallen branch.
Old rain.Ā
Stone sleeping deeper down.
Seeds waiting with the patience of little bombs.
Roots everywhere. Always reaching. Drinking. Speaking in pungent chemical whispers.Ā
He sank deeper. The blood kept leaving him. The soil loved him for it. Not like a woman, not like a cheering crowd outside Vought Tower, not like a country that pretended to respect its heroes. This love had no face and no mercy. It wanted all of him because all of him could be usedāblood to feed, bone to cradle, breath to sweeten darkness, and heat to wake the sleeping spores.
Nature, his dreaming mind told him.
Normal.
The way it was meant to be. This is soft. This is natural. This should happen.Ā
It should happen. It should happen. It should happen. It should happen.Ā
Let it happen. Let it happen. Let it happen.Ā
He opened his mouth to breathe.
Soil poured in.
He did not choke. It filled his mouth, warm and wet and granular. It slid over his tongue. Packed behind his teeth. Pushed down his throat.
His eyes filled next.
Then his nose.
The earth entered him gently.
Completely.
Soldier Boy woke with a violent jolt. He sat upright in the motel bed, dragging air into his lungs in huge, ugly gulps.
For one second, he did not know where he was.
Blue TV light. Peeling wallpaper. The stink of cigarettes. Butcher in the other bed, awakened by the noise and already staring at him.
Then Soldier Boy started coughing.
It tore through the room.
He doubled over, one hand braced on the mattress, the other clamped over his mouth. The cough kept coming, worse than before. Like something inside him had grown while he slept and now resented being woken.
āYou good?āĀ
Soldier Boy coughed into his fist until his shoulders shook. When it finally stopped, the room rang with the sound of his breathing.
He stayed bent over.
Slowly, he opened his hand.
Blood slicked his palm.
Dark red. Too much of it. And in the blood, a black thread twitched. Thin as a root hair and all too alive.Ā
It curled once against his skin.
Soldier Boy stared at it as fear washed over him all over again. He closed his fist around it, then looked at Butcher.Ā
āOkay,ā he said.
His voice was low. Hoarse.
āWeāre going back.ā
***
The forest welcomed Soldier Boy back like it had been expecting him.
That pissed him off.
It should have looked different now that he knew what was hiding inside it. More dramatic, maybe. More obviously wrong. There should have been a line somewhere, some threshold marked by dead birds or bones or trees bending backward from the path in warning.
Instead, the forest was simply⦠there. Patient and expectant like all rude forests.Ā
They crossed the old service road just past dawn, though dawn did very little for the place. The light came down weak and gray, trapped in a low ceiling of cloud before it could warm anything. Snowmelt ran in thin veins across cracked asphalt. Black moss had climbed into the fractures, pushing through the road as if the earth had taken the man-made thing personally and was slowly prying it open with its fingers.
Soldier Boy stepped off the asphalt first.
The soil gave beneath his boot. His heel sank half an inch, and something under the ground shifted in answer.
He stopped.
Behind him, Hughie stopped too. Butcher stopped because Soldier Boy had stopped, which annoyed all three of them for different reasons.
āWhat is it?ā Hughie asked.
Soldier Boy stared down at his boot. The mud sat around the sole like a mouth that had not yet decided whether to bite.
āNothing.ā
āThatās becoming my least favorite word,ā Hughie muttered.Ā
Soldier Boy kept walking.
The trees leaned over the path in a long, dark arch. Pines mostly, with a few skeletal oaks scattered among them, their bare branches clawing at the colorless sky. Everything had a wet shine to it: bark, stones, dead leaves, the underbellies of mushrooms growing in thick shelves along fallen trunks. The air had that same impossible density as before, the same too-rich smell of soaked roots and split bark and rain pulled from deep earth.
Hughie was keeping his distance with impressive commitment. He trailed several yards behind, one hand clamped over his nose and mouth like a child walking past a garbage truck. Every so often, he lowered it to breathe properly, regretted that instantly, and covered his face again.
āJust so everyone is clear,ā Hughie said through his fingers, āthis is not me being cowardly. This is me making a very rational choice based on recent events.ā
Soldier Boy and Butcher both ignored him.Ā
Butcher walked closer.Ā
Not shoulder-to-shoulder, but close enough for Soldier Boy to feel him there. Close enough for Butcherās boots to crush the same leaves a second after his own.Ā
Soldier Boy noticed.
Normally, he would have enjoyed it. There were not many pleasures left in the modern world, but making William Butcher uncomfortable was absolutely one of them. The man was hard to rattle in the way roaches were hard to kill. Watching him fight his own body, watching his jaw tighten every few seconds like he was physically dragging himself backward from a ledge, should have been funny.
It was not funny because Soldier Boy knew why.
Every few steps, his chest tightened. Every few steps, something deep in him pulled toward the trees. Not pain. Pain was simple. This was worse, though he didnāt quite feel like scrambling for the vocabulary to explain why.Ā
His throat burned. His lungs felt damp from the inside, as if condensation had gathered where breath should be. He turned his head and spat into the dead leaves.
Black flecks landed on the ground.
The leaves underneath them curled, as if burning from contact. Then the stems softened and the brown surface darkened. Something tiny and white broke through the center vein of one leaf, a thread no thicker than hair.
Hughie made a small, distressed sound.
āThatās⦠new.ā
Soldier Boy wiped his mouth with the back of his glove.
āItās not new.ā
āIt is extremely new to me.ā
Butcher stared at the black flecks for half a second too long. Then he looked away like he had caught himself doing something worse.
Soldier Boy turned on him.
āWhat?ā
Butcherās expression stayed hard.
āNothing.ā
āThen stop looking.ā
āIām looking at the disease youāre leaking all over the fucking place.ā
Soldier Boyās eyes narrowed.
āYou were looking at my mouth again.ā
Butcherās head snapped toward him.
āSay that one more time.ā
Soldier Boy took one slow step toward him. Butcher did not step back. That was Butcherās problem. Maybe his whole problem. He never knew when to step back until the thing in front of him had already put its hand around his throat.
āAlright,ā Hughie said quickly, voice pitching high. āMaybe we donāt do this in the cursed forest.ā
The trees creaked.
Not from wind. From attention.
It moved through them in a slow ripple, a soft complaint of wood against wood. Branches shifted even though the air was still. Needles trembled. Somewhere nearby, water dripped in a steady rhythm that sounded too much like counting.
Soldier Boy tightened his grip around his shield. The leather strap groaned under his fingers.
Then, somewhere ahead, a woman laughed.Ā
It was almost fond. Even Soldier Boy, who was always ready for a fight, couldnāt find a shred of malice in it.Ā
Butcher raised his shotgun in one clean movement. Hughie took one meaningful step backward. Soldier Boy did not move.
The smell thickened. Wet earth. Rain. Mushrooms splitting open in the dark.
She stepped out from between two trees.Ā
The woman looked better than she should have, and Soldier Boy hated that.Ā
The last time he had seen her, she had been burned open by his blast, skin split and smoking, roots knitting themselves through the wounds while the forest erupted around her in a frenzy of wrong growth. Now she stood barefoot on the wet ground with her hair loose around her shoulders. Her dress hung from her body in pale green and beige layers, something between cotton and soft linen. Mud still marked her calves, and a thin vine circled one ankle like jewelry.
She looked more human now.Ā
Until she tilted her head, and Soldier Boy caught the movement under her skin.
Not veins. Not muscle. Something⦠branching. A shadow of roots traveling beneath the surface, delicate and alive.
She smiled at him.
āYou came back.ā
Soldier Boy lifted his gun and fired. Hughie yelped behind him. Butcher did not.
The bullet should have gone straight through her chest. It did, technically.
Her body opened around it.
The place where her heart should have been separated with horrifying grace. Skin, ribs, and tissue dissolved into a thousand fine black-green particles, like a swarm of insects moving with one mind. The bullet passed through clean air. For one second, Soldier Boy could see the trees behind her through the gap in her torso.
Then the pieces came back together.Ā
A woman again.
She looked down at herself, then back up at him.
āThat was rude.ā
Soldier Boy fired again.
This time, her shoulder opened. The bullet cut through nothing but the space she had made for it. Her body moved aside in a living cloud, neat and intimate and revolting, then sealed back into shape.
He kept firing.
Chest. Throat. Stomach. Face.
Each shot made a temporary absence.
A hole through her cheek where her smile remained somehow intact. A gap below her collarbone where darkness fluttered. A tunnel through her ribs revealing wet bark and pale morning beyond. Every time the swarm of her parted, let violence pass, then returned to the idea of a woman.
Hughie looked like he might throw up.
āOh my God,ā he whispered. āOh my God, that is so much worse than healing.ā
Butcherās shotgun stayed aimed, but he had gone very still.
She took one step forward. Soldier Boy pulled the trigger again. The gun clicked empty. The sound was small and humiliating.
She glanced at it.
āFeel better?ā
He threw the gun aside.
āNot even a little.ā
Her gaze slid over him. Not flirtatious⦠worse.Ā
Her eyes moved from his mouth to his throat, down to his chest, then lower to the hand curled around the shield strap. She was studying him the way doctors studied lab results.Ā
āYouāre sweating,ā she said.
āItās humid.ā
āItās actually cold.ā
āThen Iām pissed off.ā
āYouāre coughing less now, too.ā
His jaw tightened.
Her eyes moved down to his chest, and something in him answered before he could stop it. A loosening. A sick, traitorous ease.
āYour body knows where it is,ā she said.
Butcher made a sharp little sound, half laugh, half disgust.
āYour body knows where it is. Aināt that lovely.ā
She looked at him. Then she smiled properly.
Butcherās breath stalled. His fingers tightened around the shotgun. His eyes flicked over her face, dropped to her mouth, then tore away with a violence that made the movement more obvious than if he had simply stared.
Her smile deepened.
āAwww,ā she said softly. āYou too.ā
āMe too, what?ā Butcher asked.Ā
āYou want him too. Like all the others.āĀ
Butcher looked like he had just been stabbed directly in the pride.
āIād rather fuck Hughie.āĀ
āThanks, man,ā came Hughieās voice from the back.
Butcher looked at her. āYou so much as breathe in my direction, Iāll turn you into compost myself.ā
She blinked, calm as rainwater sliding down bark.
āYour pulse changed when you threatened me.ā
She turned back to Soldier Boy, amused now. Curious, he stepped closer to the woman.Ā
The relief hit him so fast it almost dropped him. His lungs opened. The pressure beneath his ribs loosened. The buzzing in his bones went quiet, as if someone had taken a power tool away from the inside of his skeleton.
For the first time since the motel bathroom, his body felt like his own.
She saw that too. Her expression turned pleased in a way he did not like.
āThere,ā she said. āAll better now.ā
Soldier Boyās shield came up.
āDonāt say that like you fixed something.ā
āI kind of did.ā
āYou caused it.ā
āAlso yes.ā
āGet it out of me.ā
Her smile thinned.Ā
āI canāt.ā
The forest seemed to go quiet around the answer. Even Hughie stopped breathing for a second. Soldier Boy stared at her. Then he laughed once, coldly.
āWrong answer, doll.ā
āI can calm it.ā
āDidnāt ask for calm.ā
āNo,ā she said. āBut what you want is not possible.āĀ
He took another step toward her. The ground softened beneath his boot. Butcherās shotgun shifted.
āThatās close enough, Mother Nature.āĀ
She frowned. āMy nameās Blackroot.āĀ
ā'Course it is, love.āĀ
Hughie looked at her. āWhatās your real name?ā he asked.Ā
āDonāt know it,ā she said, still walking towards Soldier Boy. āDonāt need it.āĀ
āStay back,ā Butcher warned her again.Ā
Soldier Boy did not look back.
āI got it, thanks.ā
āYou very clearly donāt got it,ā Butcher said. āYouāve got half a salad bar growing in your lungs and every poor bastard within a mile trying to climb you like ivy.ā
Her eyes glinted. Soldier Boy turned his head slowly.
āYou done?ā
āNot even started, mate.ā
She moved closer, and Soldier Boy felt the thing inside him answer.Ā
With hunger. With recognition.
His grip tightened around the leather strap.
She stopped just outside armās reach. Close enough that he could see the flecks of green in her eyes. Close enough to smell the forest on her, though that was stupid, because the whole forest smelled like her. Or she smelled like the whole forest. He no longer knew which way it went.
āYou were chosen.ā
āNo shit. What for?ā
She ignored the question. āWhen you were breathing all over the place.ā
āWas I not supposed to breathe?āĀ
āYou were supposed to be easier,ā she said simply. āYouāve got something in you now. You inhaled it after you killed Mindstorm.āĀ
His eyes narrowed.
āYou looked like you needed help.ā
āI did.ā She looked at him with unbearable calm. āAnd then I used what was offered.ā
Butcher muttered, āWow. Romance ain't dead.ā
Soldier Boy shot him a look sharp enough to cut bark. She continued, unbothered.
āMost of the spores you breathed in burned away when you tried to fry me. Your blood is hostile, your cells repair too fast. You have a bad body.āĀ
āCongratulations,ā Soldier Boy said. āYouāre the first woman to complain.ā
Her gaze flicked over him with faint amusement.
āBut one stayed,ā she said. āYou kind of burned it into yourself. So, really, itās your fault.āĀ
Hughie, despite himself, glanced at Soldier Boy. Soldier Boy pointed at him without looking.
āDonāt.ā
Hughie closed his mouth. She lifted her hand toward Soldier Boyās chest, but he caught her wrist before she could touch him.
Her skin felt cold and alive.
Under his fingers, something shifted toward him. A tiny flex beneath her skin, as if the thing inside her recognized the thing inside him and pressed closer to say hello.
Butcher took half a step forward. Then stopped as if his own body had startled him. Her eyes slid toward him again.
āGoodness,ā she said softly. āYou are fighting so hard.ā
Butcherās face went dark.
āListen here, you swampy littleāā
āYour feet keep moving before you tell them not to.ā
He looked down. He had, in fact, moved closer.
Her wrist was still in Soldier Boyās grip. She looked up at him, her expression almost gentle.
āThe spore canāt take over you,ā she said. āSo it calls.ā
Soldier Boyās fingers tightened around her wrist.
āCalls what?ā
āAnything that can carry it back to us. People. Animals. Insects, eventually. Anyone who breathes near you long enough.ā
The forest seemed to listen to itself after she said that. Soldier Boy looked around and, sure enough, a beetle crawled over a fallen branch nearby, its shell slick and black. A crow shifted somewhere overhead. Beneath the leaves, the ground gave a soft, secret crackle, like hundreds of tiny legs moving all at once.
Soldier Boyās stomach turned.
His hand tightened around her wrist.
Butcherās voice cut in.
āThatās enough exposition, love.ā
She looked at him. He jerked his chin toward Soldier Boy.
āBlast her.ā
Soldier Boyās mouth flattened. Butcher looked at him.
āWhat?ā
āNo.ā
Butcher stared.
āNo?ā
āThatāll make her worse.ā
That surprised him. For the first time since stepping into the forest, Butcherās disgust cracked under genuine alarm.
āCome again?ā
Soldier Boy shoved her wrist away and took one step back.Ā
Immediately, his chest tightened. The relief heād just felt vanished like a hand pulling away from a wound. His lungs clenched immediately. The annoying tickle in his throat and burning shrapnel in his chest returned.Ā
He ignored it.
āI hit her with the blast last time, and she just got stronger.āĀ
āBecause the spore had settled inside you already,ā she piped up. āIt changed you, therefore it changed what you do. Made you our ally instead of our enemy.āĀ
āTherefore?ā Butcher spat. āAre we in fucking biology class?āĀ
āSomeone should be,ā she sighed, too comical for the situation.Ā
Hughie made a small, despairing noise.
āOkay. So the radiation blast that usually depowers supes is fertilizer for her. Great. Thatās⦠yeah, that tracks. Why would anything just be easy for us?ā
Soldier Boy looked at her.Ā
āGet it out of me. Or calm it, whatever.āĀ
She smiled.
āNow, now.ā
His eyes hardened.
āYou need something from me,ā she said, āand I need something from you. So letās help each other out.ā
āNo.ā
āFair enough.ā Her smile sharpened. āI lied, anyway.ā
A long, wooden groan passed from trunk to trunk, the sound of an old house settling, except there was no house.Ā
āYou need me,ā she said, āand I can do just fine without you.ā
Soldier Boy stared at her.
Then he laughed. It was not a good laugh. It had no humor in it. Just teeth.
āYou think Iām gonna bargain with a weed?ā
Her eyes stayed on his. The ground moved. Hughie sucked in a breath.
At first, Soldier Boy thought the mud was rippling from his own pulse, the way it had in the clearing before Mindstormās body disappeared. Then the leaves around her feet began to lift, not blown by wind but pushed from beneath. Thin white threads surfaced through the wet soil, dozens of them, then hundreds. Fungal filaments. Root hairs. Tiny searching things that tasted the air and withdrew when they touched Soldier Boyās boot.
Hughie backed up another step.
āOkay, no, thatās bad. Thatās very bad.ā
Butcher raised the shotgun. The woman did not look away from Soldier Boy.
Then Hughie whispered, āButcher?ā
Butcherās jaw clenched so hard a muscle jumped in his cheek.Ā
He had moved another step towards Soldier Boy without knowing it. He looked down at his own feet with naked hatred.
Her voice softened.
āItās not desire. Not the way you think of desire, at least. Your body is older than pride. Older than disgust. It knows what itās made of. It knows where it goes when it is done pretending. And Iāweājust help accelerate the process.āĀ
Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper, almost a plea. āDonāt you want to come home?ā
āShut up,ā Butcher said.
āEverything living wants to return.ā
āI said shut up.ā
āEven you.ā
Butcher fired.
The blast tore through the forest with a deafening crack. Birds exploded from the canopy at last, black wings thrashing through gray light. The shot hit her square in the shoulder.
For half a heartbeat, she broke apart.
Her upper body became a storm of black-green particles. The shot passed through the swarm and shredded the bark of the tree behind her.
Then she reformed.
But not perfectly.
Something new grew from the wound⦠a dark cluster of mushrooms pushed through the torn fabric near her shoulder, blooming in seconds. Their caps opened wet and glossy, black at the center, pale at the edges. They pulsed once.
Hughie gagged.
āWhy did it bloom? Why does shooting her make her bloom?ā
She glanced down at the mushrooms. For the first time, irritation crossed her face.
āThat hurt.ā
Butcher cocked the shotgun.
āGood. I have another few rounds in here.āĀ
Soldier Boy grabbed the barrel and shoved it down.
āAre you retarded?ā
Butcher rounded on him.
āYou want to stand here and let Poison Ivyās depressed cousin negotiate terms?ā
āI want you to stop making her worse.ā
āSheās already fucking worse.ā
She touched the mushroom cluster again. One cap split softly under her fingers, releasing a faint golden dust.
Soldier Boyās ribs seized. He coughed once, violently. She watched with interest. The spores drifted between them in the weak light.
Hughie pulled his sleeve over his face.
āNope. Absolutely not. I donāt want to start getting hot for Soldier Boy.ā
Soldier Boy opened his hand. There was blood across his palm again.
In the blood, one black thread twitched.
Again.Ā
Her expression softened. Soldier Boy looked up at her.
Something in his face must have changed, because Hughie stopped moving. Butcher stopped cursing. Even the forest seemed to hold itself back.
The arrogance had not left him completely. It never would. It was welded into him too deeply, part of the same old machinery as his violence, his pride, his refusal to kneel even when the floor was already rising to meet him.
But fear had carved a place beside it now.
āWhat do you need?ā he asked, defeat evident in his voice.Ā
She smiled.Ā
--------------------------------------
Consider this the āpilotā for testing. I have the outline for the second chapter, and if you guys want it, Iāll flesh it out and post it in about 2 weeks.
And if you want to be added to the taglist for the second one, lmk <3
Hope you guys like it, lmk what you thinkkkkk <3 <3
no dude it's so cool how attached you are to that character who is singled out and ostracized due to the external monstrousness that clashes with their internal spark of humanity. and i love how drawn you are to themes of horror and love, nature versus nurture, otherness, isolation, and the abject. i bet you have normal feelings about your own personhood
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Huge shout out to all the people who read fics. Who actually take the time out of their busy days to open a fic and read it
Before I started writing in earnest, I did not understand how much writing was going to eat into my fic reading time. We joke about having too many tabs open, but I have a different problem: the amount of tabs I have open on new fics is way smaller than it used to be. My ao3 wrapped would be a sad affair. Unless Iāve subscribed to an author or come across something on my dash, I basically donāt see it
Which has really driven home for me how much fandom cannot just be creators. You have to have people who want to read fic and meta discussions and joke posts. You have to have people who want to look at art and gifs. It has to be mutual.
Community thrives on flow. You have to have that movement of people sharing things with each other for a community to exist
Very strange seeing grown adults on TUMBLR shaming people for liking homelander.
Unless you've recently joined this site, you'd know that people have entire blogs dedicated to controversial takes on shows, specific niche characters, and specific ships.
Secondly, since when are we shaming people for liking fictional characters?? 100% post an in depth crucification of a specific character, that's fantastic and it's conversation and it's on par with people writing in depth character analysis for why they sympathise with that same character.
But it's so mad to call people depraved when they want to analyse a villain in an interesting and even positive light.
The character isn't real, it's a fictional person doing fictional things.
It doesn't mean they condone those behaviours in real life, it doesn't mean they are pro harming people, and it doesn't make them perverts.
People have many reasons for liking villains, it can be from their aesthetic, to their lore, to how they're written, to finding them funny or hot or fucking whatever.
The main point being that we all know they're not real, theres so much real shit happening in the world, I don't think you should put any energy towards people trying to find some fun in a fictional villain who ONCE AGAIN, isn't real, and didn't do any of that.
one thing I'll never get tired of is watching conservatives cry over the death of a blood thirsty fucking tyrant under the excuse that "bbbut he was just an abused boy onceš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ" get a fucking grip please
We didnāt get to see the Homelander violin theme get more deranged as he truly went scorched earth. I wanted the haunted strings. The truly eerie, creepy violin music that makes your skin fuckin crawl.
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I have been conflicted ever since I learned that it was Antony who came up with the eat your shit line... personally i think they collectively wanted to drive it into the conservatives' heads that HL is not to be glorified. But I also feel that as much as Antony and Kripke understand HL's past and have actively developed it, they see it as 'fleshing out the character' vs the tragedy it actually is... like sure okay add the crass lines but build up to it at least???
all art is political, but when subtlety is dead and personal opinions of the characters bleed through (via actors or writers), shit is no longer art. I donāt know what it is, but itās not art. Itās probably ego, self-preservation, but not art.
To me, as I was watching that scene, it felt unrealistic in the moment because HL was so scared of being powerless that if he were without power, heād WANT to die. We know from S1-3 that HL is not stupid. He was made stupid in the last 2 seasons to make writing easier, but he knows where his strength comes from and he has never actually deluded himself into believing āuwu everyone loves meā ā- he knows losing his powers means losing control and whatever little agency he has.
And it annoys me that they couldnāt even give him that dignity⦠accepting death and perhaps even feeling relief. Relief that itās over, the internal torment is over. If there was any love for the writing, I would have imagined something like this: we were seeing Mirror!Homelander during the finale and, just before death, M!HL catches a reflection of himself and sees actual Homelander looking afraid⦠āyou said youād keep me safe.ā And maybe M!HL tells him āitās gonna be okay, kidā ā¦. COME ON.
Like Iām not asking for 30 minutes of development here. 30 extra seconds could have done so much to round out the character and close the series.
But Kripkeās feelings and Antonyās⦠whatever⦠have left us with this ending. Bland, unmemorable.
also, Elon Musk hating your finale is not a flex. Kripke is shunning all responsibility and using Musk to do it. In Starlightās words: TAKE SOME FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE.
YOUāRE A SCREENWRITER??????? *points at you* you could have stopped this!!!! (In all seriousness your fics make sense now, good job)
Itās not like I was offered the job and I declined it :') But thank you, that is so kind <3 I think I prefer my life now. If I had to sit in a writerās room and watch good characters get ruined just to advertise a fucking spinoff, Iād probably cry and get fired. I wouldnāt last ten minutes.
But never say never. If Mike Flanagan reached out, Iād be on the next flight out.
I recently got into eco-horror (the anthology Chlorophobia was my gateway drug), so I might fuck around with that in the next fic. How, I have no idea, but Iāll find a way. Maybe she has powers like Poison Ivyās in DC? And SB is either deeply irritated or stupidly in love? Idk idk, I usually wait for inspo to slap me in the face, waterboard me, and chain me to a desk for 48 hours.
Mourning over, now Iād like to share my thoughts on Homelanderās ending in Season 5 Episode 8: Blood and Bone.
I think itās worth mentioning: I am a screenwriter, I have a masters degree from London Film School, and I donāt say that to lord some authority over anyone, Iām just saying my thoughts are not purely emotional (though I will probably get a bit emotional at the end).
There is a dangerous thing happening with screenwriting in Hollywood right now, and The Boys is clearly also a victim of it. Writers are trying to control how their work is perceived, which makes for garbage writing. They want, so badly, for you to know exactly whom to hate, whom to love, which plots they like, and which plots they know are really fucked up.
Take, for example, Kripke saying this about Stormfront :
Your opinion of your character as a showwriter or showrunner colors your treatment of them. Itās how you get boring, one-dimensional, unmemorable villains. You make a caricature out of them and then point bright, neon signs at it, going āHATE THEM!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HATE THEM!!ā
This is either because a) writers are scared you will think they like the villain, or b) writers think weāre too dumb to understand, or worse, c) they think they get to make a judgment call on whether a character is good or bad (they don't!)
The focus of a writer should be to write a good story without judging their own characters. This allows all characters, good or bad, to have good individual stories.
Game of Thrones, for example... yes, Tywin Lannister was a proper cunt, but if George R.R. Martin hated him, he wouldnāt have the characterization he had. Tywinās intelligence and strategic thinking made him a scarier villain, and he was given that intelligence because the writer didnāt hate him or see him as a bad guy. He was just... a guy. And it was left up to us, the audience, to decide whether Tywin was good or bad.
Letās take a more recent example: Mike Flanagan. The Fall of the House of Usher is one of my faves, and despite the main characters being obvious raging capitalists responsible for a lot of bad shit, you can tell Flanagan doesnāt HATE them. He treats them as a parent should treat a child - give them chances, set consequences in place, allow them to make choices, take away agency when necessary.
Now... Homelander.
Itās clear that Kripke was starting to get frustrated with the love Homelander was getting, and he took it upon himself to āeducateā us on what he really is. (āBan abortionā, really Kripke??)
This idea that if you see overwhelming love for a bad man, surely the audience is dum-dum. Audience need to be told. Audience see hot man and go stupid. Must make clear, this bad bad man!
The sad thing is, I donāt think anybody in the fandom expected him to live at the end of the series. The audience is not naive... we were already mourning Homelander before the finale aired, because we knew heād be scapegoated one way or another. The insult isnāt that he died but the WAY he died, very obviously hated by Kripke. If there was any love or respect for the character, there would have been a slightly more dignified death, in private, after Homelander truly got to display the power of the V1 in his blood.
It concerns me that this is the place film and TV are headed, because weāre quickly getting into a territory where, because writers donāt trust their audience to use their brains, the power of choice will be snatched away from us, and we will be made to watch watered-down, one-dimensional characters. Worse, we lose our ability to reason, find context, appreciate nuance, and basically use critical thinking skills.
Now, Homelander aside...
I also donāt think the audience expected Vought to pay for its crimes. Again, this fandom is not stupid. We understand how corporations can come out clean after the worst disasters, and it was inevitable that Vought, not an entertainment company but a pharmaceutical company, would find a way to carry on anyway.
The insult wasnāt that Vought survived...
The insult was this promo pic...
If the message was that Homelander is a representation of Vought and bringing him down means bringing down Vought, boy, was that stupid!
The show set up some absolute banger finale posters and delivered on absolutely nothing.
Giving us these posters as if he literally didnāt say...
(Can we sue for false advertising? I heard Elon Musk didnāt like the episode either, maybe we can use his money to fight Kripke, idk. Fund the filming of an alt finale, Iāll even write it for free.)
But I guess thatās a marketing thing, not a script thing, so letās get back to the actual episode.
I donāt agree that Vought should have been brought down, because that is highly unrealistic. But the fact that The Boys didnāt make a single dent in the workings of Vought is also ridiculous.
I understand a group of rebels rarely have an effect on a towering institution in real life, but for the sake of a satisfying ending for the audience that stayed with the show through 5 seasons and a spinoff, it might have been good to see one meaningful change The Boys made in how Vought operates. Instead, Stan Edgar is back where he was, no kinder than he was earlier. Having stricter control over supes is hardly a solution when the problem is the companyās practices.
ALSO, and I know this is minor, but Starlight literally flying The Deep to the ocean, where he would be strongest? ........... Lazy. I know they wanted to create a situation where the ocean would rip him apart, but no. Lazy and stupid.
Things I did like:
MM adopting Ryan, because Butcher had asked MM to raise him. Starlight returning to tapping police radio to find people to save. Hughie has an AV store (in the age of streaming, who needs it? Whatever, itās cute.)
All in all, yes, itās easy to say "oh you just liked Homelander and didn't want him to die,ā --- and yes, itās true. Without his powers, he was a 5-year-old, and the fight with Butcher just wasnāt a fair fight.
Emotionally, I thought it was undignified and cruel. I wanted to get in there and hug my baby boy, carry him out if necessary, and let him live like a human---fragile and scared but ultimately having agency.
Logically? I think the show set up a fantastic villain and nerfed him in the way that felt easiest. Either they made him so powerful that they went and asked ChatGPT, āwhat do now?ā or they simply got lazy. There are enough posts talking about what Homelander has been able to overcome in the past and how fast he can fly, so I wonāt repeat all of that.
Iāll end this by saying, if Kripke is going into Vought Rising already hating certain characters, it will not be a fulfilling or even interesting show. I like that itās a murder mystery, but I am so apprehensive.
Curious, what do you guys think? Will you be watching Vought Rising?
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I've never understood people feeling bad for Homelander, sure kid him who's innocent, but not the adult who made all these terrible, inhumane choices.
With the way the reader was terrified of Homelander and how he was treating her and his plans for the world, I had zero clue that she'd be the one to welcome him into the farm house. After everything he's done, he doesn't deserve to just be included in this family. I pity the child that was experimented and abused but that doesn't excuse him from the consequences of his actions. Want to set him free to wander the midwest on foot with no prospects or help? Sure, but he doesn't get the bittersweet ending with bio-dad.
genuinely curious on your decisions and thoughts here
alrighty here they are:
The ending was nice, mostly, to be a comfort fic for fans after that finale. But I believe it also makes sense in the context of the story itself:
Reader has always been kind. Even when Homelander was breathing down her neck, she cared about giving the people a place they could unburden themselves, receive some love and kindness. That is her strength, so she has held on to it, even when it looked like her strength would consume her. Now, we can see she has better management skills (sending SB and HL away to fix a fence instead of trying to mediate and fix things herself) but yeah, that grace didnāt leave her.
She has spent 8 years watching Soldier Boy be a wonderful father. The kids arenāt scared of dad, they sometimes even make fun of him, clearly. Even when heās wrestling a bull, kids think āoh heās upto his nonsense againā instead of ārun and hide.ā Yes, he loves his kids, but heās also carrying guilt. He ākilledā his first son, he never really even tried with Homelander. Reader has watched him carry that around.
When Homelander comes back, she doesnāt let him in until he displays genuine self reflection (and reveals he is still chipped). She also trusts her husband⦠if Homelander tries anything, Soldier Boy can and will put him in the ground.
she sees this as an opportunity for Homelander to get the dad he needed. SB is softer now, though still crude and impatient in some ways. She (UNLIKE KRIPKE!!!) knows that Vought made him a monster by first starving him and then putting a buffet in front of him. She gets how he was programmed and, because she is her, thinks he deserves a second chance with a proper family. A good dad will make him strong, kids will make him attentive and gentle where needed. And John wants that too, which means he wonāt fuck up a good thing.
Reader believes he has already faced the consequences, being locked up at Vought for 8 years. Alienation will only make it worse, reaffirm that the world is indeed cruel if he doesnāt have his powers, and heāll just spiral all over again. This, by the way, is a common tactic of indoctrinating children into cults. Adults will put a child in a situation that gets them ignored (give out pamphlets on the street, for example) and when they donāt succeed, adults tell them āsee, the world doesnāt care about you⦠but WE do!ā. Homelander said it too, Vought just let him out for āgood behaviorā but they likely also wanted to see how he would do, powerless and walking around New York, where he would likely be ridiculed or physically hurt. Vought probably expected him to come back to them on his hands and knees. They didnāt expect him to walk to the middle of fucking nowhere and find the guy who stripped his powers. That already shows heās rejecting Vought in some small way ā- accepting him into the farm, getting him out of the bubble of Vought, is the best thing. Besides, heās not getting a free ride. SB says āno useless men on my farmā meaning HL has to earn his keep, which he has never done before. Heāll work with this hands, heāll get hurt, he might feel sore, heāll probably have to do dishes and, in time, learn to fix things around the house. To HL these will be Herculean tasks.
those are my thoughts. End of the day, it comes down to a personās own sense of justice and morality, which relies on a hundred different factors, so itās alright if some donāt see it like I do. I donāt think youāre wrong, btw. But the way I wrote Reader in the first 4 chapters, this ending felt justified.
thanks for the ask! ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Obsessed with how you went from fascist dictator using woman with a savior complex to pull people into a capitalist cult, straight to fun on the farm with friends.
It wasnāt going to be like that. I had fully planned anguish for Homelander, but seeing as how my baby boy was treated in the finale, I just needed him to have a happy ending somewhere :')
If you care about my OG idea: SB and Reader get the farmhouse and, years later, hear on the news that HL offed himself in custody because he couldnāt tolerate being depowered anymore. That would lead to half the nation, those who believed in the church of America, actually labeling him a martyr, and a whole new wave would begin because a dead religious symbol is more powerful than a live one. Vought would beg Reader to come back to the church; she would say no, obvi, and their happily ever after would remain with kids and a quiet life.
But... fun on the farm with friends felt NECESSARY. For me, for everyone.
<<<<spoilers>>>>>> I hated, hated, hated how they chose to end Homelanderās story. The institution stays standing, their abuse will continue, Homelander became a scapegoat, and The Boys didnāt actually change jack fucking shit.
But thatās okay because it never happened. I guess they decided to delay episode 8? Cuz my Prime doesnāt have it. No idea what happened to it lol.