Insert mildly amusing blog title here

ultra rare ice cream flavor: shoplifted and defallonated

oh 

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

definitionally yes

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

I’ve had this on my phone for so long that I do t remember where I found it

nothing is more tumblr than having a tumblr sexyman wiki and then warn you to not find some of those men sexy because it's problematic

Best part of following this account is that there's a new Ogre Blowjob Hell once every two months

Indeed will be like do you want to work for "Bible and Jesus"

Whenever i get into his car i have to spend an embarrassing 3 minutes adjusting everything back into clown car proportions so i can fit. Anyways a couple lessons ago he had me do the same route over and over to practice and there was a dead seagull in the middle of the road at one point and to keep correct positioning on the road i was required to drive over its carcass like 19 times just goring this seagull until the 20th lap when my instructor looked at the seagull that now more resembled tomato soup than a bird and said "this time. you spare seagull" and so i did and then he said "incorrect positioning on road"

Artists rendition

I forgot that when i told @peach-crem this over the phone they drew it as worf LMAO