Honor the Nuance

He doesnt know what I want

Apparently one type of deer hunting practiced in the Middle Ages was using “stalking horses” which involves crouching behind horse in a forest and slowly guiding it towards a deer that’s been tracked because deer are not frightened by the sight of other tall quadrupeds and I like how “horses as a form of camouflage” is belongs to the list of uses for domestic horses

I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.

In a nonexistent perfect world, there is an 80s version of The Muppets Wizard of Oz, where the gang finally meet the wizard. And instead of “pay no mind to the man behind the curtain”- Toto knocks over a table in front of A Wizard Of Oz Muppet Head who bellows PAY NO MIND TO THE MAN BENEATH THE CAMERA!!! And it’s revealed that the wizard was Jim the whole time. And he’s like “im so sorry but i’m just an entertainer you guys are gonna have to go kill the witch on your own. you should probably hurry because there’s only 30 minutes left in the runtime.” I just think that would be funny.

You always wanted to be a Healer. Unfortunately, your dad was an Necromancer and your mother a Demon Summoner. So your healing was a bit… unconventional to say the least.

“Listen, is he alive? Technically, no. But his body is moving and his soul is controlling it, so frankly I don’t see a problem.”

my tea bag broke

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

#proudparent

reblog to tell a 14 year old that these are the very, very hard years and they're not wrong to feel the way they do.

I had a fifteen minute long crying session yesternight over the fact that all I was 10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 14, is lost and lonely, and now, at 24, I am neither and that filled me with so much gratitude

crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.

Some names just sound so ridiculously fake that had they been fictional, people would’ve rolled their eyes in complete disbelief. Like seriously. Wdym there’s a mf called Galileo Galilei. Stfu. You just made that up

Fastest man on earth is a guy called Usain Bolt. Sure I guess. There’s a poker player whose real name is Chris Moneymaker. Whatever. Scott Speed is a racecar driver. Founder of Tito’s Vodka is some guy called Bert Beveridge. There’s a former CNN bureau chief called William Headline. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

This post is… EDIBLE?

i know i don’t necessarily need to explain myself but i feel compelled to say that i like tarot in the same way i like dream interpretation and flipping coins for answers— it’s not going to tell you anything you don’t already know, it’s just an excuse to examine the patterns and symbols your brain builds and is drawn to

I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that

Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D

What a highly specific and devastating word

I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.