Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, likeâŚ
âThese children have found the Ring! But theyâre taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.â
âWell, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, whoâs leading them? Aw, hell.â
âOKAY! Olorinâs out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, ITâS IN LOTHLORIEN.â
âWell, okay. Theyâve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so heâs going to capture them and weâll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorinâs still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so thatâs one less thing to worry about.â
âAaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so weâre back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ringâs going to be anywhere, itâll be there.â
âWait, whoâs on theâ Isildurâs WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildurâs Heir is back, and heâs here being all prideful again. Thatâs fine. Really. Iâll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!â
âWHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, Iâm cool, Iâm fine. Heâs still got that stupid wizard costume on, and Iâm still stronger than he ever was. Itâs not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. Thisâll be fine.â
âTheyâre⌠actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didnât think theyâd actually do it! This is perfect, everyoneâs right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now andâ Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone justâ Thatâs a halfling. Theyâre inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO Gââ
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