That’s bae

shakira is cursed and if her hips are dishonest, even once, the mummy will take her soul

the best part of bee and puppycat is when shes gargling yogurt and thinks “soon it will be cheese” and then proceeds to say aloud “soon it will be cheese” 

sassy

When I was a waitress, if a middle aged woman was ever rude to me (they almost always were) I’d happily offer them the senior discount, 65 and above only. It felt so good to see their eyes bulge out of their sockets and their mouths drop open in shock.

do you ever get so disgusted with yourself, like you can not believe how stupid and thoughtless you are and it’s so frustrating because you keep telling yourself that you’ll do better next time but then next time rolls around and the same thing keeps happening and you end up in this pattern of mediocrity.

*stays home* i should’ve gone out *goes out* i should’ve stayed home