“ crying is very punk, trust me, i do it all the time & i am a punk. ”
“ do i like him or is he just tall? ”
“ not to be dramatic but if i don’t get my life together i will die. ”
“ am i dramatic? yes. is it justified? also yes. ”
“ everything that you feel is just a chemical reaction inside your head. wow. ”
“ there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me. it’s called the throne. ”
“ let’s get high!! … grades. ”
“ i think my gps secretly gets mad at me when i deliberately disobey its directions. ”
“ it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s … me, trying to outrun my feelings. there i go. ”
“ i am here to say that i am a bisexual who loves mangoes. ”
“ why has no one fallen in love with me yet? i’m so bored. ”
“ honestly, i don’t even play an active role in my life. shit just happens & i’m like ‘ oh, is this what we’re doing now? okay. ’ ”
“ life hack : you don’t have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon. ”
“ what the fuck do mirrors do when nobody is around? ”
“ it may look like i’m having deep thoughts, but really, i’m just thinking about what to eat next. ”
“ do i deserve back pain at this age? ”
“ i’m a simple person; anything happens, i cry. ”
“ i’ve mastered the skill of feeling guilty for asking for anything. ”
“ yes, the rumors are true. i’m a lovey-dovey dumbass. ”
“ i try not to sound like an asshole, but it’s really hard because i am an asshole. ”
“ someone has to date me eventually, right? ”
“ what circle of dante’s inferno did you crawl out of? ”
“ your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this friendship apart. ”
“ there’s no way that EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting. ”
“ saying my name is so intimate, why would you do that to me? ”
“ don’t ask me about my sexuality. you’re not gonna get a straight answer. ”
“ i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining. ”
“ the first step to any murder is to have fun & be yourself. ”
“ i think i am subconsciously trying to ruin my own life. ”
“ i may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep down inside, i am actually angrier. ”
“ i push everyone away, but in a way, i am doing them a favor. ”
“ what do you mean a thesaurus isn’t a dinosaur? ”
“ i’m not even a hot mess. i’m more like a lukewarm mess. ”
“ i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual. ”
“ can someone please explain to me how i’m supposed to sleep for eight hours straight when i’m not even straight? ”
“ you’re not allowed to be busy, you’re my only friend. ”
“ becoming older than ten years old was the biggest mistake of my life. ”
“ is it cold in here, or is that just my heart? ”
“ if i sigh loudly enough, will all my problems go away? ”
“ hey, sorry i’m late. i didn’t want to come. ”
