Tiny

I can’t stand being sober. I have to stay high or drunk to keep the pain away.

Always chasing a high that I can never feel, never have access to. What am I missing in my life? Why am I so suicidal? When will it end? I wish I was addicted to drugs. I wish I was able to smoke crack and feel a certain bliss (or numbness) because the pain I feel on a daily basis from the moment I wake up in the morning is so exhausting. I just want it to end.

The reality is if I reported being raped no one would have my back. No one would support me. That’s why I’m so suicidal. No one cares about me. But it’s a hard pill to swallow when I see how much everyone cares about her.

When your mom looks at you a little bit longer than usual and asks what’s wrong because she knows somethings wrong but wtf am I supposed to say

I slept for like three hours last night. I don’t know how I’m supposed to work tonight.

I’m not scared of killing my self. I’m scared of failing while trying to kill myself

I binged.....

You’re not in the mood wtf does that mean? Not in the mood to have a conversation with me? Fuck you so.

Fuck the anxiety is really kicking in