Linguistics, But Make It Fashion

You need to look at actual people. Influencers and actors and models are not what actual people look like irl. Those people don't even look like that irl! Real people have wrinkles and scars and pockmarks, flabby arms and saggy breasts and bellies that fold and hang over their belts, double chins and crooked noses and acne, yellow and missing teeth, receding hairlines and bald spots and frizz. Real people wear old clothes that don't fit perfectly and aren't particularly stylish or fashionable. Real people wear makeup that cakes and smears and settles into creases. Real people are fat and old and tired.

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

Autistic mom of two autistic kiddos here. I do something with my kids called playing the good friend game. I have them ask me a question like “what did you do this weekend” and then I respond with something they don’t like ie: “I ate some sushi for dinner on Saturday! It was delicious!” Their job is to not make a gross face and not to yuck my yum. They have to ask me a follow up question! Minimum one about what I liked about the sushi or who I went with or what I ordered etc. and they have to be kind. I change up what I answer with for the initial question and for all follow ups. It’s incredible!

You can learn how to chit chat about things because you care about the people around you. Small talk is banal and boring but the people in your life are real and lovely and nuanced. Get to know them. You can do it. You’ll build relationships that last. Don’t do it for the sake of small talk. Do it because you’re deeply invested in learning how to see the people around you as whole pictures.

1. Do not do age verification.

Brunstorp Housing, Huskvarna, Sweden - Arrhov Frick