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I watched Amelie and a few days later I woke up and decided to film myself doing things. It was odd, because I usually plan these things out until I’ve practically chewed over everything about eighty times & planned every single tiny detail. Then when I realise reality won’t live up to the image I’ve created in my head, I just decide to not bother at all. However, this time I didn’t plan anything & then this little thing came out x

hi! thank you! Yes, this is actually my second gap year. Last year I also studied something that didn’t feel right for me & I contemplated taking another gap year for a long time, which felt super shitty since I already had a gap year before. Right now I’m trying to come to terms with not knowing what I want to do or be & I think I’m just gonna see what happens without punishing myself for not studying already like everyone around me. In my free time I just try to write a lot in my diary, in my notebooks; stories or things I’m dealing with or ideas. I’m also working on a project with my dad for an orchestra, so that’s my main occupation right now. I’m gonna be really honest with you, aside from the project, I am super bored with my life right now. Taking a gap year just isn’t very interesting unless you decide to travel. I didn’t really have the money for that. If you do, maybe that’s something you’d like. However, I can understand if that’s not really your thing (people really try to push that whole “travel gap year / broaden your horizon” thing & personally, I’m not that into it. BUT I will always recommend you to follow your heart & if your study right now doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. You might get bored, but you’ll also have time to figure out what kind of person you want to be and what you like & you can also work and save up some money. Doing projects for yourself is a way to fill your time while also figuring out what you like, for example: maybe you can take a lot of pictures, or write, or follow a course (coursera.org has cool free online courses!) or just watch a lot of movies. That’s what I do. A gap year isn’t a disaster & you’re young! You still have all the time in the world to become who you want to be. Don’t stress it too much & ignore what others might think of it. Do what you have to do for YOU. You’ll figure it out. Good luck!

DUTCH DESIGN WEEK EINDHOVEN: Mango jumpsuit / black blazer / Nike trainers / Gabriela Hearst Nina bag / ASOS puffer jacket x

I HAD A FIELD DAY WITH MY COUSIN FRANCESCA. I took pictures of her in her mother’s bedroom because it looks royal & luxurious. She’s wearing a sweater from Primark and nothing else. I hope you enjoy what we made x

BUDAPEST I've just returned from a trip to Budapest with my three friends. We were there for a week and stayed in a tiny - but very stylish - appartment, quite centre-oriented. We had a club literally across from our place. Since it was at least 35 degrees Celsius everyday, I've mostly worn cami bodysuits and little black dresses paired with my Sissy Boy suede sandals and either my Mango black bag or my vintage brown leather rucksack, which was originally my moms. I also started reading The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf, which has been a good read so far. I hope you've had a good summer x

I wrote an essay for Clover Letter recently about growing up, expectations for the future and insecurites that might go along with it. If even one person feels a bit more understood after reading this or just a bit less shitty about themselves, I would be really glad. I am hoping to write more in the near future, as I've noticed that people kind of appreciate it. I also feel very proud and content with myself when I finish a piece! Please let me know what you think x

Hi! These photos were all taken with my Olympus Pen E-PL7. I have taken a few on film for the first time, but those haven't been developed yet and aren't shown in my latest post xx

SUNDAY My older sister, Tess, recently moved. She now lives in a small appartment with her boyfriend and her cat and many plants. They made their house very much their own with a few dark wooden mid-century furniture pieces, a mustard-yellow chair and a dark-blue blanket, a stack of vinyl-records and a big bookcase. For me, it looks like the ideal scene for several shoots I had in mind. My house and my mothers taste for interior, while beautiful, feels a bit too modern at times. I brought my analog camera with me as well. However, I still need to have those photos developed and luckily, I also brought my Pen. Thanks to my sister who always goes along with my shoot ideas and enjoys it too x

APRIL / MAY Clearly I took a lot of time off from this page. I'm slowly trying to create again, but it's taking its time. I never want to put out anything I'm not proud of, so I won't. I went to: harry potter the exhibition berlin & a festival (amongst other things) and I took some pictures there. Hope you enjoy x

AUDREY ♡ AMY I went to an exhibition in The Hague Museum, called Hubert de Givenchy: To Audrey with Love. The first time I became aware of who Audrey was, was when local furniture shops were trying to be trendy and started selling small canvases of her famous portrait from Breakfast at Tiffany's - in which she, subsequently, wore pieces by Givenchy. I bought one and hung it in my room. I might have known her name at the time, but I did not know who she was, or what she had achieved throughout her life. Now, some eight years later, Audrey remains one of my biggest inspirations (as cheesy as it sounds - I don't care!) and most likely a woman I will look up to for a very long time. She carried herself with elegance and dignity and kindess & I could only wish to be a fraction of what she was. She inspires my heart and my closet: I would like to wear more classic items. - shift dresses - boxy coats with big buttons - the simplest black dresses - black hair-bows - berets - tiaras... My father and his girlfriend, who took me to the exhibition, bought me Audrey At Home: a book full of recipes, photographs and personal stories, written by her son, Luca Dotti. I would say it gets me a little more excited about cooking, but I'm afraid that would be an overstatement & my family might use it against me xx

25/26.12.2016 I don't think christmas counts as one day for me anymore. I spent a good 4 days celebrating christmas this year. I tasted oysters, too and I quite liked it! My family went all-out in terms of cooking (when don't they?) so I could stuff my face the entire evening. I wore: h&m blazer, Mango skinny pantalons, Zara heels and a h&m bodysuit underneath it. Yesterday I held a Harry Potter-marathon at my home with my friends. Honestly, if I don't watch at least three Harry Potter movies around christmas, is it really christmas? My love for Harry Potter, and above all Ron Weasley, is infinite and I'm not ashamed of it. I hope everyone of you had a great christmas, filled with happiness, family, love, laughter and GOOD FOOD. If you didn't, that's okay too. There's always next year and the year after that. I'm sending you a little extra love x

A LITTLE BB, A LITTLE SUI I couldn't figure out how to post the previous gif along with this photograph, so I'm posting them seperately. I'm wearing the ASOS dress here, along with h&m earrings & a silky scarf. Clearly I am channeling Brigitte Bardot with Anna Sui dots under my eyes x

Coat: New Look Bag: Mango Dress: ASOS Jumper& blouse: H&M Trend

GOODNIGHT LITTLE CHOP-SHOP GIRL I watched The Man from U.N.C.L.E a few weeks ago and I didn't realize I needed to vent about it - on my blog, that is - until now. A major key point in this particular doubt is that I usually don't discuss things like films and books. I fear no one will be interested in what I have to say on this topic. I watch a new movie nearly every week and I keep a list of which ones I want to see next. I try to keep up with books as much, but it's far from enough. I wish I was one of those people who reads book after book in short amounts of time & who naturally clears their schedule for reading, but I'm not. And that's ok. As of lately, I am also not the person who keeps up with their hobbies and who stays creative and uses it as an outlet. On rookiemag.com Rowan Blanchard wrote a piece: "Sorry Not Sorry: How I quit apologizing for existing." She mentioned how everyone goes through their "middle" - no matter who you are. My perspective on this middle is that it's a phase of indifference. It's not yet knowing who I am and who I want to be and what kind of mark I want to leave; and then accepting this vapidity and uncertainty. It's night-time as I am writing this and not an hour ago I was in a very tense mood, even though I know that whatever my worries are at the moment: they are temporary and not as important as I make them seem to be. At night is when I clog my brain with ideas and notes and lists, which I deem unimportant in the morning (also the time I regret staying up that late). The following night, I make new lists and come up with new ideas, only to repeat the cycle of the night before. And the night before. My head is full and I don't even have a solid reason for it. As I've promised myself many times in the past: I do want to be more creative & I want to be more myself. The hard part is figuring out when I am myself: am I myself as the person who believes in taking time off & "if it's supposed to happen it will"? Who accepts that you're not supposed to have everything figured out and already be exactly who you want to be. Or am I myself as the person who demands change in order to fit a frame I've built for myself - a frame I feel would make me even happier than I already am? I realize now that I haven't even talked about the movie, so I will try to keep it short. Guy Ritchie's The Man from U.N.C.L.E is set in the 1960s during the Cold War and follows a CIA and a KGB agent who need to work together on a mission to prevent World War III involving a missing nuclear scientist. Gaby Teller is a car mechanic and the daughter of the scientist. Her role is played by Alicia Vikander (now my most recent girl-crush). So much about Gaby in this movie is what I aspire to be: confident, a bit sassy, smart, cute and funny. The entire movie has an old-fashioned detective/spy/James Bond vibe and there have been scenes where I couldn't keep myself from laughing out loud. That's what makes it so alluring - along with the costumes. Gaby is seen in lots of shift-dresses, big and round sunglasses, color-blocking pieces and retro statement earrings. I've already gone and tried to find similar pieces on various online stores, with no luck unfortunately. This movie is definitely added to my list of favorite movies x

HAUL Took myself out for a shopping day and came back immensely happy. I needed a few key items (a faux leather jacket was long overdue) and opted for simplicity and comfort. Bobbi Brown corrector & Bobbi Brown concealer, Tom Ford Skin Illuminating Powder Duo, Bershka men's tee, H&M leather jacket, Monki black skinny jeans, River Island denim jeans and River Island minimal choker necklace x

I had a thrift shop-themed party on saturday and I wore this. Nearly the entire outfit is thrifted (I take my themed parties very seriously) aside from my sunglasses from F21, socks from Weekday and my Reebok Classics. I channeled my inner Sandy Olsson for my hair and to be honest I think I threw a few different era's together in one outfit. FYI I wore shorts underneath x

THE WEDDING Saturday was my cousin's wedding and here are some candids from it in which she looks absolutely beautiful. I wore a Forever21 top, H&M skirt paired with Zara heels and my Chanel Boy bag 1:1. There's also a photo of my new Forever21 sunglasses, small notebook - in which I decided to write down the dreams I have since they're seriously getting nuts - and my new facemist from Benton Cosmetics x