wind⠀

i wish i didn’t spend so many years putting so much effort into hiding myself from the world i should probably go sit on a park bench or something idk!!!!!!

Escape screen time, rearrange furniture, open all the windows even if it’s cold, drop the baggage, drop the stuff piled up in the closet, drop the clothes I haven’t worn since 2019, go outside every day, breathe fresh air, stay out until it gets dark, feel the sun on my face

i love it when i catch myself being myself and being happy like yes this is exactly how it should be

life is so much better when u stop hyperanalysing urself and realise u can’t hate urself into being better u just have to accept ur a lil weird n fucked up slightly but it’s not that deep just live

i love sunsets, i love discovering new music, i love stargazing, i love walking, i love the smell of earth after it rains, i love coffee, i love the smell of books, i love quiet afternoons, i love open windows, i love the underlying flavors in food, i love poetry, i love freshly baked bread, i love painting my nails, i love flowers growing through cracks in the pavement. etc etc

i’m realizing that i have so much time. i have time to grow my hair long. i have time to cut it all off and then to grow it back again. i have time to discover new hobbies and give up on things that no longer serve me. i have time to grow and change and travel and change my opinions and live differently than how i am now. i have so much time. take a deep breath and slow down

i spend my days waiting. waiting for the water to boil and my tea to be ready. for spring to come back. for more daylight. the oil in the pan to heat up. a “hey i miss you” or “can you help me out for a second?” or “you want to hang out?” text. for my phone to finish charging. for good news. flowers on the table. the next hug. “hey, you got the job!”. waiting for the sun. to set. to rise. to see both. for summer to be around the corner. a good song. a falling star. a text back. i spend my time waiting to be remembered. i spend my time repeating that tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better. i spend my days waiting and waiting and waiting. i spend my days waiting unbearably.

everything everywhere all at once is about intergenerational trauma. about depression and passive suicidality and the gravitational appeal of nothingness. about aging, getting older in your twenties and getting older in your fifties. about the specific hurt mothers can cause their daughters and daughters their mothers. about the harsh reality of the immigrant experience and the american dream. but it’s mostly about kindness and family and it’s about choosing to sit at home talking about taxes with someone who loves you, and it’s about telling your daughter that you’d choose her over the entire universe, and it’s about how even in the universes where life didn’t form, love can still exist. and it’s really all of that at once.

I love this movie with all my being

i think my problem is that i want to experience everything. all of it. i want to listen to every song i want to watch every movie i want to read every book. i want to eat every food i want to visit every city i want to love every person i want to see every painting. god... everything.

The older you get, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realize how much nonsense you've wasted time on. You start to accept things for what they really are. You stop forcing friendships and connections with people and you just learn to grow.

The older you get, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realize how much nonsense you've wasted time on. You start to accept things for what they really are. You stop forcing friendships and connections with people and you just learn to grow.

Having a quiet life is so.. underrated. I don't mean it in the sense that people who're open and loud and busy aren't important, but when our culture has significantly put so much emphasis on the definition of success as fame, extraordinary accomplishments, greatness and importance and excessive wealth, I think there is so much power to be found in our own anonymity, in the silence of life, in not being constantly perceived, analyzed and performing for the world, in being able to take a walk, smile at strangers and just notice the world without all that noise, taking the biggest pleasure out of the smallest joys, like a cup of coffee or blowing out birthday candles, knowing that our lives don't have to be a grand spectacle for others in order to have worth and cause a good impact.

Shout out to everyone who is just so tired So so exhausted So very very tired so very fatigued so sleepy and tired So

unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you