Cankat

I -unknowingly- increased my substance tolerance over the years it seems.

Sometimes I want to go proper crazy and lose a bit of my mind that is left.

My mind is a maze these days. Thinking thousands of things at once, planning to do thousand other things at once, failing all at once and reflecting on all of them once in the quietness of the living room.

Just can’t seem to fall asleep lately. Even weirder thing, I be managing to sleep around this hour (4-4:30 am-ish) and be waking up at random ass hours like 6:30, 7:50 etc and not able to get back to sleep (this was never a challenge before) until 11 or 12 am, where then I either feel extremely sleepy like a zombie sleepy, or actually fade out on the sofa without trying to sleep.

First time in a long ass time (8 years) unemployed starting from today. I know its not a big deal but it also is, kind of. Because now I feel like maybe I don’t want to follow the same career path.