Β Β ββΒ Β Β Β Β UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A BEAST WITHIN YOU THAT CAN DRINKΒ βTIL IT IS SICK,Β Β Β BUT CANNOT DRINK βTIL IT IS SATISFIED.Β Β Β Β Β A PRIVATE AND SELECTIVE WRITING BLOG FEATURINGΒ Β Β Β NAKAHARA CHUUYA.Β Β Β Β PORTRAYAL IS PRIMARILY DRAWN FROM VARIOUS SOURCE MATERIAL,Β Β Β LARGELY HEADCANON - BASED WITH PERSONAL INTERPRETATIONS. AFFILIATED WITH @NULLFIER .
Β Β Β Β * Β Β Β Β Β i utilize memes as a way to write starters and initiate interactions. please do not send memes if you have no intention of continuing at least some of the ones i answer. Β
βbasic dni criterion apply, but specifically do not interact if you are a multi and primarily use east asian fcs Β Β ( especially if they are korean ) Β Β because that screams fetishization to me Β ( there are exceptions and it's pretty obvious when it's normal vs gross behavior. Β i'm east asian and the way some of y'all treat east / southeast asians is atrocious. ); Β Β write historical or real muses; Β Β use youtubers/influencers as fcs; Β Β and / or solely focus on sexual nsfw / fetishizing mlm. IMPORTANT: i do not adhere to deadlines for interactions as they make me feel pressured and rushed.
Β Β Β Β * Β Β Β Β Β by default, Β expect most potentially triggering content to be referenced in some way or form on this blog. Β Β chuuyaβs story revolves heavily around suicide,Β Β loss of autonomy,Β Β grief,Β Β murder,Β Β death,Β and all topics adjacent to such. Β Β implied sexual content will be present.Β Β Β because suicide is such a prevalent topic within bsd,Β Β i highly advise if you need that or that aforementioned tagged,Β Β this probably is not the blog for you.
βwhile this blog is multiship,Β Β iβd love to explore other dynamics, Β including but not limited to Β : Β antagonistic, Β platonic, Β familial. this blog is ship exclusives with @nullfier's dazai and will not ship romantically with other portrayals.
Β Β Β Β *Β Β Β Β Β to be frank,Β Β iβm extremely wary of the fandom.Β Β Β the way chuuya has been caricaturized,Β Β sexualized,Β Β fetishizedΒ Β Β Β ...Β Β Β disgusting tbh.Β Β Β so,Β Β iβll likely be selective with following back from the bsd rpc. i don't adhere to most fanon.Β Β Β i also donβt own chuuya,Β Β but i do take credit for anything iβve added to his story and development.Β Β Β anon is tentatively on as iβve enjoyed getting interactions in the past,Β Β but the second anything icky goes through,Β Β itβll be turned off.Β Β Β just be normal.
βmacy, Β she / her, Β 24, Β discord avail for mutuals. Β Β i have the worst habit of blog hopping or disappearing due to irl, so you can always find me on my multi otherwise.
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chuuya being one of the high ranking executives in the port mafia is just sooooo. grrrrr. he maintains that he only stayed because of mori holding important information over his head but it became more than that, as he developed a family in the port mafia, and after their deaths, he couldn't find himself settling anywhere else. he does often daydream about being free of it but he's been in that world for so long he can't really picture it anymore and doesn't know how he'd function if he couldn't be needed. but he holds a Lot of respect from subordinates and others of the same standing, he does care about the people he works with to an extent
winter chill had turned his cheeks pink on the long walk to his apartment. fingers numb around the key that felt heavy in his pocket, upon the remembrance that it existed as an open invitation to come and go as he pleased, so long as he didn't break the locks on the windows to do so. dazai still hadn't used it until tonight, and had aimed to wake chuuya gentler than this, using the front door to create less of a sense of intrusion and yet still causing him to stir before he could get close enough. meeting the bleariness of his eyes, a quiet laugh caught itself at the back of his throat as chuuya sat up and threw a glance to the clock. hm. dazai hadn't quite realised the time himself, stepping forward and shedding his outside coat and having already forgone his shoes, as per the nagging voice in his head that always sounded suspiciously like chuuya. dropping his key onto the bedside table, he perched on the side of the bed, caging the other man with an arm propped across his body. β the boiler at the dorms broke, β a lie, though a pout stretched across his lips to sell it as his head tilted, leaning forward to close the distance and catch chuuya's in a soft hello that tasted faintly of sleep, an effort to get him to unfurl his arms from their unimpressed position and rid him of his scowl. noses brushing as he pulled away to speak. β chuuya wouldn't want me to freeze, right ? so he has to let me in. β
the extra space remaining unoccupied went ignored, dazai instead peeling back the covers without chuuya's agreement and forcing himself underneath them, fully invading the sanctity of his bed with his outside clothes remaining as he slid beneath soft sheets and all but man - handled chuuya into his arms with his back against his chest, head falling to the silken pillow with further ignorance to any complaints. his movements akin to searching for a comfort he couldn't find and didn't dare to voice, arms encircling his frame and face buried into lightened copper with a quiet sigh. limbs cold and yet warming in the embrace, their legs the last to tangle. β better, no ? β amused lilt to his voice, dazai ducking his head to press his lips delicately to the back of chuuya's neck, a ghost of a kiss before he quietened for a moment. fingertips stroking any available furnace of skin, breaths evening just slightly before he caught himself relaxing and again broke the silence, with the repayment he truly came with the intent to claim. β there's somewhere i need to go. β a forlorn sigh, tucking himself closer as though it would sweeten the deal, though an edge to his voice, dark and detached, honest. as though hating having to ask and yet needing to, in a sense he couldn't put his finger on to explain. but replaced by an airier tone on his next words, though quiet so as not to further disturb the peace. β i don't have a licence, and i'm a law - abiding citizen now. β and as though sensing the coming retort. β and i'm too poor to take a cab. isn't that sad ? so chibi should take pity and take me. β
the mattress shifted as dazai's weight settled, and chuuya was willing himself awake despite the hold of slumber still gripping him violently, lulling him back down to the comfort of his sheets and hopefully, awaking to the fact that all of this was some hallucination. even as slightly cold lips pressed against his, something warm and heated unfurling within him, an ember ignited and smoking just from the simple contact. his movements were too sluggish to chase after that kiss, and instead he received it, tiredly, with hazed eyes that were barely open. he only mumbled, something indistinct but clear enough that it was a reluctant agreement to his statement. but before he could do anything more, complain anymore or throw a tantrum however indecipherable his words would be, his body was maneuvered and he was enveloped in a blanket of frigid clothes and icy limbs, his brain realizing a tad too late that --- β dazai, you fuckin' asshole ... not w'those clothes ... β but the words were slurred, drawn out, hitting a moot point as his body easily conformed and fit to his liking. it didn't take long for his own warmth to seep into dazai, both of them settled and comfortable that he wouldn't bother fretting over the outside clothes or that he'd have to do another load of laundry because he would lose his mind thinking about it when more awake.
faux stubbornness only lasted for so long before his own heated hands were unclenched and reaching for his, interlacing their fingers and pulling him closer, as if it were even possible. perhaps it was paranoia that lurked, or perhaps he'd known dazai long enough to decipher the changes in his breathing, as though he can hear the cogs in his head churning, creaking. so he willed himself awake enough to pay attention this words, brows furrowing at the lack of details, but what else could he have expected ? β y'need t'go somewhere at three in the fuckin' morning ? y'could've told me about this in advance. or spent the night. the hell is goin' on ? β it was only in his nature to let the onslaught of questions pile on, voice husked and grumbling as his chest tightened with practiced frustration, not even bothering to laugh at his shit attempt of a joke β law-abiding citizen, fucking jackass. β take the bus or somethin'. do what normal people do without a car. do i look like your chauffeur ? β he'd started to twist around in place as he spoke, skillful enough not to slip out of dazai's hold but now facing him, limbs still entangled, and now his arms were reaching to wrap around his waist, settling easily. he blinked, once, twice, enough to stabilize his vision and make out the small details of his features through the blues of the night. he couldn't resist leaning in to press his lips against his, something selfish, something lingering. β where're we goin' ? β mumbled, quiet.
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βββ RE: ΕSAKI, MIYΕͺ. FEATURING . . . NAKAHARA, CHΕͺYA β€» @ahrabaki. βͺ . . . β« β SAY THE WORD AND IT'S YOURS. β
glitter - embellished wives glinting under the lights with waists adorned by expensive hands, an endless flow of wine uncorked in the kitchens to the right, the room's silence punctured by hushed conversation of the patrons of the night's showing. avoiding having to gratify the false opinions of those in attendance, she'd found herself a quieter corner adorned by a sculpture left to its own devices, lest anyone have to pretend they understood its deeper meaning, its own private mess of colour and sharp edges leaving everything to be desired, her gaze upon it the longest lingering until the arrival of someone else at her side. β answer's no. β jade hues not once leaving the composition before them, voice a teasing lilt, ring tapping the stem of the champagne glass as if trying to convey non - existent annoyance, made real by the quick retort, just admiring the artwork, same as you.
a noncommittal hum, her gaze finally sliding to chuuya's form with a brow raised, unimpressed. β of course you are. β a challenge, almost. for as well as he dressed (irritatingly well, expensive tastes so obvious, perfectly tailored and not a stitch out of place), held himself (annoyingly calm amidst the chaos she'd heard of him), within the nature of all that surrounded him, could he really appreciate it ? β it's one of our best pieces. using non - representational forms to advocate for modern artistic expression. the artist wanted to move away from the traditional emphasis on naturalistic balance and harmony in the way the shapes converge on the muse at the centre. β words seeming useless jargon to most people she'd spared her attentions to already, but he might have understood it, as pesky as the recognition from him would feel. β it's beautiful. i'd keep it for myself, if i could. β gaze softening again on the shine of the sculpture beneath the spotlights.
the trill of a phone and his attentions stolen for just a moment, gentle intrigue gripped her ... miyuu leaning just so to see the words appearing on the screen from someone with a lack of name, just the emoticon of a fish underlined, loud in celebration: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :D DID YOU GET ANY TALLER? HOPE YOU DON'T ... the last of it cut off from the notification. his phone then pocketed, and she having caught herself, straightening with the twitch of an amused smile at the corner of her lips. say the word and it's yours. only to fall a moment later, angling to him with the tilt of her head in surprise, scrutinising him a moment as pearls bit into carmine. a hum. β wow ... that's surprisingly generous. but your last ditch effort is to try and buy me ? β a somewhat wistful sigh, shoulders dropping with gentle laughter. β thanks, but no thanks. beautiful as it is, i've stared at it for so long that i think i'm bored of it, and you should never keep around your own work. too many imperfections to invent. β drinking in his expression, a flicker of surprise ? an echo of doubt ? her glass replaced by another as a server approached, then leaning to duck a kiss to his cheek, staining it faintly red with a smile pressed against it. β all this time chasing me and you really didn't learn anything, hm ? keep it, though. a gift from me to you on your birthday. β stepping back, jades meeting storms, alight with a mischievous gleam shuttered by a sly wink. β you'll excuse me, yes ? i'll go and write up your paperwork. β
something about the enforced and accepted quiet of the vicinity did wonders to soothe the storm within, a safehouse amidst a whirlwind, only adorned with dim lights and strategically positioned spotlights. he was late, not as late as he thought he would be but the the reminders he'd set for himself had buzzed through his phone among the flurry of birthday wishes from his subordinates, all of which he'd yet to reply to. another year in the port mafia and he'd yet to actually take a day off, not since that day in the billards β memories flashed through his mind of the small photograph, of the six of them huddled around like they were a damn family. but he cleaned up well enough, hat and usual attire switched out for a nice suit and tie β one he had recall that miyΕ« liked. she never stated aloud but he could tell, the way her hands had roamed over the seamless fabric, tugging on the hems, singling it out among the sea of muted colors in his closet. copper locks were neatly held in a low bun, though he almost regretted doing so the second he felt his own hair itching at the back of his neck. it wasn't hard to track her down, parting through the crowd of empty words and glossy eyes who could only do so much in a room of masterpieces, of unsaid stories delivered in a lost language only few could know.
and miyΕ« knew it intimately, perhaps more than he ever thought he could, as he found himself entranced as she spoke of the piece's composition. he wasn't aggravated that he'd forgotten to silence his phone, but the scowl over his features was not to be missed when he'd seen that it was his ex-partner, and yet that sour feeling had felt more comfortable and welcoming than any of the other birthday wishes he'd received, next to hers. oceanics were delicate as they traced over her features, drinking in the sight of her unabashedly, ends of brims twitching upwards. β the imperfections are what make 'em stand out. y'know perfection doesn't exist. unless it's you β β a cheeky remark, something he couldn't resist, even as the delayed realization dawned upon him and he was left there near-slack jawed with warm cheeks, luckily hidden as he shifted out of the light's direction.
he glanced around as though he couldn't be too cautious, and then back to her, head shaking as he reached for her hand, half a mind to pull her back but instead he followed her, having been to her office enough times. β lemme go wit' you. β only he stopped them as they turned a corner, away from wandering eyes, shielded by the unlit corridor of the gallery. he tugged her close, perhaps a tad too abruptly that their chests were practically clashing, free hand settling on the small of her back. β y'drive me crazy, y'know ? you're crazy. β he breathed out a laugh, as though he could scold her. β c'mon, i wanna see the magic of your boring paperwork. and however y'guys wrap shit up. and i'd like another gift if y'don't mind. β left unsaid, but he was leaning in to press his lips against hers. / @qismet
oh, how kira adored working with others! her placement within the ranks of the port mafia often changes depending on where she was needed, though almost all are wary whenever they see her ever smiling visage. the prospect of having to work with chuuya had elicited no protest from her, and she is certain that there are those who had not been named who breathed a sigh of relief. after all, how many times have her lackeys come back with nightmares to plague them after kira had graced them with the terrors that were her masks? after she had used the most twisted parts of their soul to fuel the very thing that shrouds her own? she survives by feasting on the rotten; deceive them with the scent of lavender and lips painted rose until they tell her everything she needed to know. still, she wouldn't dare do that to chuuya [ ... ] being close to his strange power was enough to sate masks's hunger, which satisfied kira's own curiosity as well. she decides to play nice ... as nice as a silver tongue can.
βΒ Β Β is that an order? i hate to have to remind you, but we have to still be alive when we get there in order to complete the job. Β Β βΒ still, kira tosses over the keys to the car over to him in the midst of her stride. it spoke more on kira's reluctance to relinquish control rather than chuuya's skill behind the wheel. βΒ Β Β if you wreck it, you're buying me a new one, chuuya ~ Β Β β
β i think we both know you can't be ordered. β he could feel his left eye twitching at her words, a dulled impatience coursing through enflamed veins. heterochromatics were stony as they drifted from inky tresses to porcelain skin, to tinted lips that only pulled together that expression they were staring at him with. the small wristwatch he'd donned for the mission was ticking loud enough to remind him of the little time they had to waste, and yet he'd decided it was worth it to squabble about mission rights and placements on an already crumbling gameboard. the executive files were still dangling over his head, a silent storm that aided his own turmoil and she, his temporary ... partner? for the timebeing, was gnawing at what little sanity he could maintained. though he supposed that was her intent, her influence.
when he effortlessly caught the car keys without flinching, gloved digits tracing the brand logo over the smooth fob, and then twirling it absentmindedly as they approached the vehicle. β but if anyone's keepin' anyone alive while drivin', it's me. not you. your drivin' gives me hives, all that fuckin' swervin'. β the last bit was muttered under his breath as he made sure to unlock the doors and slid into the driver's seat, key in ignition without wasting another second. β and i'm not buyin' shit. because i'm not wreckin' it. β a rather petty remark, something of a promise, more so for his ego than anything. β safety first. β he nodded towards the seatbelt by their side. / @wistrea
people using the animanga art style as justification for the characters (mainly chuuya) being shaped like a muscleless, child-like twig ..... count your days
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i know arahabaki is said to nothing more than a mass of energy, nothing sentient β but not to ME! arahabaki is an entity, a dormant god, and lives within chuuya. chuuya by himself has his ability and it sets him up as the ideal vessel. chuuya doesn't dream, but when he sleeps, the god stirs, writhes, claws away at him. doesn't communicate with chuuya in any comprehensive sense, but chuuya can feel everything, though he doesn't understand most of it in its entirety.
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β , DEEP STAINING RED. βββ ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. it's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. it rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. and you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. atlas holding up the world, how are you? is your love still flowing? is your heart still open? still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? because i see them, i read them, i love them and you, you, you, you. clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.
tagged by. @ninkaku <3
tagging. @starspurn ( tachihara ), @theircurse, @miraculle ( any ! ), @ragedagainst, @moonsworn, @kavanschosen, and you !!
