#nothing new

First you’ll open the blinds, letting a little sun in before starting the kettle. Then, you return to the bathroom in your shared bedroom to brush your teeth, wash your face, starting your morning ritual.

You’ll come back to the kitchen, as the water boils, adding the tea bags (maybe a couple extra as he likes it strong).

Returning to the bedroom, you softly call out his name.

He doesn’t move, face pressed into a pillow. You sit down on the side of the bed, drumming at the mattress with your fingers as you try again.

“Si? It’s 10:17AM.” Your voice a little bit louder. He still doesn’t move.

Your hands find his thigh as you pat gently- albeit quickly- as you whisper again.

“Simon? Si? Si baby? Si wiggly biggly boo bear?”

He lets out a snort of amusement. Gotcha.

You’ll lay down to spoon him from behind, even wrapping your leg around him.

“There’s my shmookie wookie pookie.” You coo, giving him a squeeze. He just lets out a half-assed groan as he shakes his head, eyes closed extra tight.

“You wake up at the crack of dawn almost every day. It’s a problem now?” You tease gently.

He flips around to pull you close, trapping you against his chest.

“‘s my day off. I’mma war hero.”

He found it withing himself to go against all the brainwashing, the painful memories, the corrupted, shiny images in his head that terrified him to his core, in order to remember who he really is and who Katniss is and why he loves her so much. And that's much more remarkable in my opinion.

He was tortured into believing lies he was never meant to oppose, but he did. He was programmed to never remember what was real again, but he did. He was convinced Katniss was evil and he should never question it, but he did.

The frustration, confusion and uncertainty he must've felt navigating through real and not real and the mental strength it takes to endure all of that and still manage to remember although he was programmed not to is the ultimate act of love and truly so admirable and fascinating.

So no, Peeta didn't fall in love with Katniss twice. That's because he refused to let his hijacked self live and get a chance to "love" her. Instead, he crawled back to who he was at his core, to the person who already loved Katniss not someone who had to learn to love her again. And he realised that the love he had then is no different from the love he has now, even after seeing Katniss's flaws. Because he was himself again. He had remembered.

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4