Amor gignit Amorem

In the NHL, they ban pride jerseys because they say we are a ‘distraction.’

I want to believe in better;

Stanley Cup Champions are given podcasts where they are free let their misogynistic mouths run, unchecked.

I want to believe in better;

Rapists are traded, domestic abusers are signed.

I want to believe in better;

A woman’s word is never enough- five men are acquitted even though it’s on video.

I want to believe in better;

It takes just three months for one of these men to sign a new contract.

I want to believe in better;

A male hockey player’s actions can ruin people’s lives, just never their own.

I want to believe in better;

The men’s team laugh at the women who have just won the same gold medal, as though they are beneath them.

I want to believe in better;

“Everything is so political.”

I want to believe in better;

I watch those same men walk through the White House in the merchandise of a murderous administration, smiling.

I want to believe in something better.

I need to believe in something better.

I need to believe in good.

I want to believe I can belong here, in this sport that doesn’t seem to love us. I wonder, how?

I lose sleep for games, just so I can watch them live with my friends. I sneak in breaks at work to answer fifty ecstatic messages about the signing of a player. I refresh feeds to commiserate silently with strangers over a bad loss. Google reminds me, “you visit this page often,” every time I search for the NHL standings. I get excited when people at my job let me explain what the pin badge on my lanyard is for.

I listen to voice notes, I share stories, I chirp in fantasy leagues, and I stare at art in awe. I sit with my best friend on beaches, in restaurants, on buses and my sofa, discussing trades, save percentages and scoring chances. I make new friends, even as the men I originally came here for make me feel as though they are my enemy.

I find a way to find some fucking good.

Laila Edwards is the first Black American to win a gold medal in ice hockey!

we can’t just dismiss people’s actions because they’re in a position of sociopolitical privilege and if we continue to normalise those in positions of privilege upholding the systems of oppression that benefit them, nothing will ever change.

i don’t care if they’re rich and white, at the end of the day they’re grown men and they should know about the world they live in and have a back bone and empathy for other people. i will not accept their bigotry simply because they don’t have personal experience of systematic oppression. if anything i hold them to higher standards because they have that relative social power to challenge bigotry.

budding up with trump and kash patel is not okay no matter how privileged you are and i refuse to hold them to lower standards. they are from places where they get to witness first hand the impact of this administration or they have latino heritage or idk their fucking mother works for the team at the butt of the jokes they’re laughing at.