So, in the early stages of my questioning my identity, I was pretty sure I was nonbinary. I started using the singular 'they', I lost friends over it, whatever. But the more I went to therapy, the more I realized that it was something more and that I was actually a transguy.
I accept that nonbinary people exist. Definitely. I've known some.
But I don't understand why people can't just, you know, stick with one gender-neutral pronoun. It's really hard to keep up with everyone's preferred pronouns - ze, zie, they, ey, e, xe - I mean, come on! I still use the singular 'they' for just about everyone who looks even remotely androgynous because I think it's important not to misgender people. I'll definitely use your preferred pronoun if you tell me what it is - at least, I'll try to, because, unless you have it tattooed onto your forehead or something, it might be kind of difficult to remember. But I really wish people on the nonbinary side of the trans* spectrum would just fucking choose one and stick with it. I used to be afraid to say shit like this - you know, afraid that tumblr would come after me and shit. Now that I don't use tumblr hardly ever (except now, hi) I don't feel nearly as intimidated. Y'all never wanted me, anyway. But I digress.
Don't blame cis people (or even fellow transpeople, Jesus) for being confused about your gender. Why the fuck would they not be? Haven't some of you actually made an effort to appear androgynous?
Yes, gender is a social construct. Yes, 'male' and 'female' are just as arbitrary as anything else. Yes, despite knowing this, I identify as a man, albeit a rather femme one. It's taken me a long time to realize that people aren't going to understand that, but I know that now. Until I get on testosterone, yes, I will be getting misgendered a great deal, especially as my hair grows. Despite the fact that I wear a pin at work that says "I prefer 'Sir'", I still get "ma'am"ed all day. It's dumb, it's frustrating, it makes me angry. At the same time, I know precisely why it happens. Societally, we've been conditioned to think:
so of course I have all of those fucking cues.
I don't mind if people think I'm genderqueer, but now I know I'm something more than that.
Even if I were, I'd like to think that I'd be able to take a step back and realize that the reason why people aren't calling me xe or someshit is that it's just not that ingrained into society. We're getting there, but - let's say, hypothetically, that someone has a friend who is agender and uses the pronoun 'e'. Then they meet you, and your preferred pronoun is 'zie'. And they keep calling you 'e', and it's purely accidental. I, for one, would just be glad that it's not 'she' or 'he'. But that's not enough for you people.
A lot of you demand perfection from people who are trying their damnedest. You say shit like "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but then you turn around and tell cis people to die because they don't understand you. Because they're not perfect.
I know it's frustrating, alright? I know that firstfuckinghand.
But a lot of you really need to take a step back, organize yourselves, and realize that those same cis people you're so angry about are actually, as a group, becoming more accepting of us and of our existence.
You want to become recognized? Stop telling people to die and kill themselves and shit. Just fucking...I don't know...get together and start a national campaign or something. Like, "Hey, we exist. Acknowledge us."
Wishing death upon someone who called you "she" instead of "zie" is literally the most outrageous thing I've ever seen, omg.
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