A Piece of Me

a couple months ago i re-opened my etsy shop because we’re having money troubles. about 2 weeks ago i sold a $65 item, but today when i went to look at my balance i had negative money. why? because etsy had automatically opted me into their “boosted posts” marketing feature, which costs $1 per day. i had to go find the option and turn it off manually.

Ten Major Artists:

Wong Wong & Lulu

Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait

Pepper’s self-portrait

Tiger the spontaneous reductionist

Misty goes off the wall

Minnie, the abstract expressionist

Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.

Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch

Smokey at work

Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.

Princess, the elemental fragmentist

view from camp @aspen grove (eastern sierra)

“One of your cashiers has a huge zit on her cheek. It was gross looking and I lost my appetite. She should have popped it before she came in this morning.”

“The cashier over there was counting money. As a joke, my ten-year-old started shouting random numbers. The cashier made an angry face and now my son is upset. He has no right to get angry at a little kid who doesn’t know any better.”

“Cashiers shouldn’t be drinking water bottles while on the clock. What if they put vodka in there?”

“One of your employees has way too many tattoos and does her makeup way too dark. I don’t like her funky colored hair either. It’s trashy and unprofessional. I won’t be shopping here anymore.”

“If the pregnant girl wanted to have relations out of wedlock, that’s up to her, but she should be wearing a fake wedding band while she’s working. I don’t want my children to think that premarital sex is okay.”

“Some of your cigarettes are marked as ”$1 off". You shouldn’t sell them. They condone smoking.“

“I was told I couldn’t bring my 15-year-old son into the liquor section. It wasn’t like I was buying booze for him!”

“The cashier farted silently while she was ringing me up. It smelled horrible.”

“You shouldn’t allow people to bring their service dogs in the store. I don’t like dogs. They make me uncomfortable.”

“You really shouldn’t let your employees go home in the middle of a rush.”

“I let my son eat a banana while I was shopping. I told the cashier. She said that bananas go by weight and she can’t ring them up without the actual product. She told me it was fine and just to remember for the next time, but I know she didn’t mean it so I felt obligated to run all the way back to the produce department and grab another one so that she could charge me.”

“There are way too many foreigners working here. You should be more concerned about making sure Americans are employed.”

“You should build a separate bathroom for employees.”

“I pulled into a handicap spot. One of your cart pushers told me I had to move. I may not be handicapped but I have had a very long day and I don’t have the energy to walk across the entire parking lot.”

“Not hiring my son because of his age is discrimination. I got him his working papers on his 14th birthday last week. That should be enough.”

First of all, power move

Second, this means any poor person with a phone and the new Burger King app can literally get food for a penny just by going to McDonalds, which is probably a goddamn lifesaver if you’re regularly worried about where your next meal is coming from

This lasts until December 12, 2018