Too many muses

((I think I'm just going to leave the blog alone again for a while first though. It's always bad for me to make decisions while I'm upset. So. If I come back to this blog I'll tell you but for now I just. Need to leave it alone again))

((I think I'm just going to get rid of him. It hurts the least. We can just assume he got captured by bad guys again and this time they shut him down for good instead of giving him the chance to escape.  It's probably best for both our muses that he stops existing. But can you make sure Kankri keeps the little universe in a jar? Or has he already thrown that away?))

((Okay there's this other thing. My muses never fall out of love. Like, ever. They hold on to people that they weren't ready to give up. I feel like them being friends is probably going to put him on a downwards spiral like a similar situation did to one of my other muses. I don't know, I mean, I guess I'm willing to try and have them be friends again I'm just worried this is going to become another scar/cro situation for me and I really don't need more sad online when I already have so much sad irl right now. I mean between grandma dying and my time in the looney bin, and all the other BS that's going down right now, I don't know if I should actively search out more sad like I seem to be doing right now by going on all these old blogs of mine. I really don't know what to do with this situation. Which of course is causing me stress that I don't want over a dumb old muse that was supposed to be a joke in the first place. Ugh. I don't know what to do.))

reblog-Your Muse and Mun Current Mood

((TBH? I might delete Damon and Splice from this blog considering how they both lost those most important to them through stupid ooc means.))

((But see the thing here is. I have this habit of not being on blogs for long long long periods of time and only coming back to them when I'm bored or missing them or the muse for them suddenly pops up like hey I'm still alive remember And I don't feel like I'll be on here enough for them to get close again I mean, granted, most of my blogs are practically dead at this point, even the ones I still WANT to be on, but I just. I don't know if Splice will hold my attention for very long and right now it looks like me holding onto him is just hurting him I mean I've never had this muse be this somber about anything before and it's honestly bumming me out I just don't know what to do with him right now. I don't want to like, break him or something. I really don't want to delete him but I doubt I'll be around enough for him to make any new friends, let alone fix what he had with Kankri. And I don't want him to be alone because I'm a bad rper.))

i ... you knowv i. i vwasn't going to come back. i really vwasn't because. because i figured you vwould say something like this and i really didn't think i'd be able to take it and i. i guess all that time sitting and expecting it made me ready for it? it doesn't hurt as much as i thought it vwould. it. it still hurts. a lot. enough to make me stop and think vwhich is. a feat in its owvn. you should knowv that. i did leavwe. at first on purpose. then i. got captured. it's hard to hide forevwer, vwhen you're as obvwious as i am. and i. i came back vwhen i got out. i did. i svwear i came back, you can see it nowv. but you didn't see. you didn't see i vwas back. so i gavwe up and left again. i shouldn't havwe left in the first place. i'm. too spacy. i nevwer vwas made for friendships, let alone quadrants. i vwasn't made for it but i told myself to brush off the thoughts because i vwas selfish. because i lovwed you. and i. i get it if you dont vwant me back. or if you dont vwant me in your life anymore. because i dont deservwe to be. i nevwer did, really. if you vwant to go be happy vwithout me i. i vwont fight it. you can be happy. you deservwe it. so i just. just. knowv i still lovwe you a lot. and im sorry for howv i am. im so sorry. im so sorry...

I miss Splice.

i miss you too!!! i'm sorry i missed your vwriggling day...