melancholicψpanda

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To my Maggie, this video tribute, which I made hours after you passed away, does not adequately express the love you have shown me over the past 10 years and 5 months. You were always there to keep me calm, safe, and, most of all, as my favorite four-legged companion at home. Your paw was always open, like a hand to hold, and your warmth was always present when I needed a hug. You gave me a decade-long lesson of living in the moment.

On your last night, I told you that I will always love you and what a good friend you had been and that it was okay if you needed to go. I tried to desperately snapshot the feeling of your fur beneath my hands, knowing it would be the last time but wishing it were not, all in the same moment.

I will know without a doubt that I had the honor of caring for the best dog to ever exist. Nothing was left unsaid. You know how much you were loved by our family. We hope to recover from this painful transition little by little with Alfonso & Mollie by our side. Do not worry about the tears falling from my eyes, they are not of sadness, because I know all your pain has been taken away.

I have been watching over you for most of your life, and now it is your turn to do the same for me again, but this time from above. Until we meet again, Maggie! ✨🌈

Dear self,

It’s me, you.

This letter waited long enough to be written. So now, it’s time. First off, I would like to apologize for assuming that you were always okay. I’m sorry for not noticing when you were putting on a brave face for everyone else’s sake. I know life has been tough for you this 2018 so thank you for standing still. You know, I am extremely proud that you managed to survive through with a courageous smiling face until now. Thank you for showing strength, courage, and fortitude every single day. You’re really a fighter! A cute little fighter, Jam. *winks! * FIGHTING!

Thank you for trying to live your life – no matter how unpredictable and messy it can be. I know you are not sure of your direction, or what you are going to do long-term in life. The clock is running way too fast but it’s okay don’t get pressured. You’ll shine in time. Just wait and see, darling. Thank you for the random beautiful things you do that go unnoticed, for the sincere prayers you say to the ones you love, for the compromises you make and for the silly things you do to make people smile. Also, don’t forget to acknowledge and thank all your favorite people who go out of their way to show they need you in their life and they really care for you.

I’m thankful for 2018 because it made you realized that life shouldn’t be figured out before it’s lived. Rather, life should be lived and we figure things out while we’re at it. I’m proud that you had your first job this year but chose to resign for the sake of your health. I’m also grateful for your new found friends and colleagues this year. I’m also glad that you found another go-to gal to brighten up and save your day.

In 2019, I hope you get to travel to places. I hope there are weekends where you get to pack your bags and go backpacking to towns or cities you’ve never seen alone or with your favorite persons. And I hope on those short trips you get to meet more people, understand more cultures, and take more pictures and selfies, not to brag to the social media but to keep for yourself so you’ll have something to smile about when you’re down and exhausted.

Lastly, on your not-so-good days this 2019, remember that He loves you. All your diseases hold a true blessing inside them. Every disease that you have is a true blessing for you. I believe that every suffering that you feel is a blessing in disguise. Just keep your faith; all shall be well in time. You have got through this far.  So please continue to be strong and soft-hearted.

 You are always loved, by me. xoxo

 Love always,

Me

 12.31.18 //