Amber Phoenix RP Blog

It’s October, it’s autumn and it’s simply my favourite season of the year. 🍂🧡 So many people keep saying winter is the most romantic season of the year, because it’s such a magical feeling to get cosy at home while watching the snow turn everything into a winter wonderland...Well, it is cosy and it is beautiful, but it, to me, definitely isn’t the most romantic season after all. Autumn makes nature look so much more colourful and warm and there’s honestly nothing more romantic than embracing this warmth by taking a walk through fallen leaves or having a hot chocolate by the fire underneath a large tree.🖤 We’re spending the weekend on a farm a little outside of New York, where doing all of those things feels like living in a dream... I honestly never want to leave again...☀️💛

My little bit of magic is literally growing up. 💗 I can’t believe how I started referring to her as “my growing magic”, when she was just a little bean growing inside my belly, and now she’s a real, fast-growing little human who had her first day at preschool today... 🥺 I’m saying it way too often, but I still can’t say it enough…Time is flying by too fast! The start was rough, and Lemmy had a hard time accepting the fact that the times where she’d spend her days with me at home, are now officially over. 😔 I’m so thankful though how her preschool teacher managed to immediately connect with her and get her into the swing of things. 🙏 And from what she told me at the end of the day, my daughter even already made one or two new little friends…My mama heart is proud! 💕

For some reason, the last couple of days had put me into a weird mood. So many things are on my mind, and I can’t stop feeling worried about everything…I know the last couple of months have challenged everyone of us on so many different levels, but it’s not just that. Lemmy’s going to start preschool next week; Ethel’s going to be part time at daycare as well…and it feels like I’m just now starting to realise how quickly our children are growing up. When having Lemmy, we (well, I…) decided she wouldn’t have to be at daycare, since I enjoyed staying home with her so much…These days however, I’m starting to wonder if this was a good decision after all. She’s always been clingy and I’m afraid it now might be harder for her to get used to being at preschool all morning…I don’t know. 
Mine and Asher’s relationship has changed quite a lot compared to what it was like before [having 2 children], as well. And with everything that’s going on lately, him being away for work most of the time…Things for us as a couple haven’t been easy either. So, I really hope that starting this new milestone in Lemmy’s and Ethel’s lives, will also benefit our relationship in the end. 💕

Today’s the first time since April that we felt it’s safe enough to come together again with our parents for more than just on 1,5 meters distance, and it’s such a relief to be honest. Especially for Lemmy, she’s been struggling a lot with not being allowed to physically see her grandparents for such a long time. 😔 She’s so used to spending one day or afternoon a week at each of her grandparent’s and we’d have brunch together every Sunday, that the last couple of months, it felt surreal not being able to do all of this...At the end of the day though, I’m just incredibly thankful that we’re all safe and sound. 💞  

A message to all the mothers out there: You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t always have to look on point when stepping out of bed at 5 in the morning. Your house doesn’t always have to look like some flawless scenery from a design magazine. It doesn’t always have to be neat and tidy where you are, right after you’ve done something. The meals you prepare for your family don’t always have to be everyone’s favourite. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. You are allowed to have good days and bad days. The only thing motherhood always needs you to do - no matter what, no matter when - is to love your children. Your children don’t care if you didn’t finish the laundry before lunchtime, they don’t care if you’re still in your pyjamas on a Sunday afternoon or all dressed up. They won’t remember that one time the food wasn’t delicious when they were 3 years old. The only things they’ll remember when getting older are the moments you spent with them. The memories you created together. So, next time your child wants to have a moment with you to just giggle and be happy - take it. Step out of the chaos around you and pause whatever you’re doing, just to sit down and be joyful together. These times your children smiled, are those they will remember. And they’re the only thing that truly matters. 💞

I can’t even seem to find a perfect caption for this...💞 When the postman knocked on our door this morning, I didn’t reckon he’d already deliver what I ordered for Lemmy after our little talk yesterday. But within the blink of an eye, Ash and I got to witness the probably most heart-melting moment ever since Ethel was born, followed by...Well, let’s say the quickest start to finish motherhood in history and...my husband being...in season? I don’t know. 🤔 Anyway, I’m just so proud of Lemmy right now. 🥺🤍 I think it was an important experience for her to learn that her sister’s as much of a real, tiny human as she is herself - and even though Ethel still is very small and cute and handy to cuddle, there’s way more to being a mum than only giving hugs all day. But now that Lemmy knows, we’ll work on all the other things it takes to be a mum, step by step. 😇

The more Ethel grows and the older she gets, Lemmy has started to develop such a big interest in her sister and interacting with her in general - it’s such a joy to witness them strengthen their bond continously. 🥺 🤍 I still remember the first couple of weeks after having Ethel all too well, and how hard it was for all of us, but particularly for Lemmy, to get used to being a family of 4. So ever since she started to actually love her baby sister rather than considering her a threat, I’d sworn to myself to involve Lemmy into the process of taking care of Ethel as much as I can..When she came up to me today asking if she could be Ethels ‘mummy for a day’, I at first wasn’t sure how to properly react but then thought of what a great growth it is for Lemmy to ask - and I already have an idea...😇

I woke up this morning without Asher lying next to me, assuming he’d just went quickly to comfort Ethel. But then I already heard those well-known little footsteps coming closer, accompanied by giggling and whispering something that I couldn’t understand, to another pair of footsteps. So, I quickly sat up to wait and see what was going to happen. I knew it’s Mother’s Day today, hence the conspiratorial giggling most likely had something to do with it...And I was right. ❤️ Happy Mother's Day to all the strong, beautiful, kind and irreplaceable mums out there! Motherhood is a wild journey, it’s tough and there are times when it can be very rough. But it’s always worth it for the priceless gift of your children’s smile. 💞

𝗔𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩: I told Lemmy to draw something for Amber, since it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow...It's been really quiet upstairs in her room for the entire 5 minutes that I left to grab a coffee, even though I sat Ethel down right next to her....What usually ends up with Lemmy trying to do silly things with her sister. But when I returned, she only put Ethel the hood of her jacket on, saying she looks “cutesie babbootsie” with it, as with pretty much everything we dress the little one in. Makes me so beyond happy to see them so peacefully together - my proud dad heart’s about to explode. Can’t wait to see what Amber’s gonna say about their little Picasso piece tomorrow! 🙏🏾