the road to dawn

i have your picture,

at every stage

at every implication.

my muse was once just a muse,

an irrevocable attachment to what was and what i wanted,

both at once,

hand in hand.

my hands make a soundscape,

scrapping up a fullness of an image.

i knew you how you would never know you

i wonder when you will be you?

if i cracked you open,

where would i be?

i know i’d find you there,

but

where would i be?

in the end,

i don’t know where you belong in me,

but i know exactly where you are,

given me a mercy

even having tried to dominate it reigns

time tells me i’m not yet where i need to be

but that it will get me there

i believe in a destiny so bound

my wrong turns ail me,

bruise and pull until i see straight

as if i should feel the shame by only glimpsing another possibility

there’s a wrongness to this trust,

one that soothes my choices

but also makes them fear

not for what it will do,

dropped you, fall in deep.

don’t belittle me,

i have you on my mind,

bound so sweet.

i have you here,

immersed in this darkness

where blinding light has never had you

muse, you taunt me,

i’ve learned to hold my own.

you want to slither back

i can play like that.

what a ruse,

i got you right back.

you’ve returned me,

unjustly, alluringly yours

i’ve been shaken by your gaze

stare me down

down

down;

rearrange me inside out.

pray me, play me

because i falter not with you.

you parade these games,

i lose.

what difference have i made

if i manifest you once more.

i go nowhere and

only for you.

kind you, sweet you, capture you

stay with me as you are,