Someone You Loved
It was not easy, was it?
It maybe because of the timing, it maybe cause of something else, but the feeling was there. It was real and yet it was not meant to be.
His name was Yonathan. He was your best friend, your partner or so what you guys called each other. But, he was also your sister’s boyfriend and all you could do just stay aside. Even though you were closer to him more than your sister, who was supposed to be the girlfriend.
It was funny sometimes, how fate let someone met and played with them.
As if fate hasn’t played enough, you had a friend - Arya was her name. Right then, she was dating a guy, Samuel. But before Yonathan was your partner, he was Arya’s best friend. You didn’t know what they called each other, but you knew they were also close, way before you.
They had history. They met because both of them were the basketball captain in the university. Occasionally the teams would meet up and so did both of them. They were dating, they knew, but it didn’t stop them to get close to each other. It was just as friend anyway.
But was it true?
One day, he came to you, confessed that he had to break up with your sister. He couldn’t take the relationship anymore. He felt like he gave too much, but she didn’t reciprocate the feeling.
You didn’t know why he told you that. Perhaps he was afraid that it would affect your relationship with him, the partner you guys were. Or you wished it was something else.
Oh, but don’t be stupid. Even if it was something else, there was Arya and you could do nothing at all. You would have to push them together, that was what a friend should do.
You smiled at him, telling him that you guys would still be partner. That everything should be fine.
Somehow Arya broke up with Samuel and you had a feeling you knew why.
But were you happy? Perhaps, because after all your friend’s happiness was what mattered right?
Your sister? She was sad for a little while but after that she moved on, realising that it was never meant to be. Oh, how fucked up the world was sometimes, don’t you think?
Some days you can see that Arya wanted to talk to you about something, that she was hiding stuffs from you. You had a guess, but you would just wait.
Yonathan and you? You guys still be partner, that’s all that matters. There was something, however, that you noticed. The way he interacted around you was different. Like a pandora box, you were scared to open it. But you wanted to know.
“Is everything alright?” You finally asked him one day and he just give a smile to you - a sad one. Not the usual bright Yonathan as you knew.
And the question was never answered.
-x-
“He never loved me,” Arya told you one day, out of the blue. You were surprised with the sudden statement. She looked at you, smiling. “He never loved me, Claire. And I don’t, I thought I did love him, but it’s not like that, you know.”
Did that mean anything? Could you hope for something then?
But before you finally embraced your feeling, he was gone.
Not as in gone, like gone. But gone as in he moved to another university. Something he had to solve, he said. Something personal that he could not share even to you (which made you sad, but nevermind).
"Will you wait?” he asked you one day.
Not sure what it was for, you just smiled, as big as you could, even though inside you shattered, again. “Of course, we’re partner, you’re my only partner.”
And he smiled, rubbed your head and left.
Just like that.
You didn’t want to admit it, not even now.
But deep down you knew all too well the feeling you had.
He was someone you loved.
