one day dan and phil were sitting on the couch. phil let out a huge sigh. dan ignored him. phil let another huge sigh, huger than before. dan ignored him again. finally, phil screamed at the top of his lungs.
“oh my god, what is it phil?” dan said
“there something that has been troubling me lately.” phil said pouting.
dan doesn’t give a shit so he turned his attention back to his phone. phil gave dan a stern look and crossed his arms.
“well… aren’t you going to ask me what is wrong?” phil asked
“no.” dan replied
“okay i’ll tell you!” phil exclaimed
dan lets out a sigh and turns off his phone, and gives phil his attention.
“i want to shave off my eyebrows!” phil yells as he puts his head down
“phil…what? why would you-“
“i’m just so perfect daniel. don’t you see? even the lesbians want me. i’m so tired of being per…fect!” phil cries
dan gets furious, stands up and heads for the doorway. before he exits, he stands at the doorway, stares at the floor for 15 and a half seconds. he turns his head to look at phil crying.”
“y-you know you’re gonna look like a naked mole rat.” dan stutters, then leaves the room.
phil stares at the floor for an hour. he wasn’t thinking about anything, he was just staring. his brain finally turns on and he starts thinking to himself.
“fuck you dan” he whispers
that’s all he had to say before he leaves the apartment to head to the doctor. as phil gets in his uber he looks up and sees dan’s pressed up against the window. dan had teardrops on my guitar blasting as he watched raindrops slowly go down the window.
phil laughs and yells “you look fucking stupid!”
dan gets mad and punches the window and breaks it.
phil laughs and gets in his uber and heads to the doctor.
as phil is waiting in the doctor’s office, he looks at his reflection and starts crying.
“i’m just so beautiful.” he sobs
the doctor barges in and yells “what seems to be the promblem mr. lester?”
phil weeps and points at his eyebrows “these sir. THESE are the problem. YOU NEED TO SHAVE THEM OFF!”
the doctor gives a confused look and looks at the receptionist and another person in the waiting room. then he looks at the chair, then the floor and then at his reflection and winks. he finally looks back at phil.
“that’s- that’s not a part of my job mr-“
“PLEASE, I CAN’T DO IT MYSELF I’LL GET A RAZOR BURN.” phil shouts.
“alright mr. lester, calm down. i’ll do it. but keep in mind that you’re gonna have to pay me.”
phil looks up at the doctor smiling at him. he gets furious.
“i have…to pay? you know what, i change my mind.” phil says.
phil walks out and runs home. good thing his apartment was right next to the doctor’s office. he sneaks into the bathroom and grabs the razor. he starts shaving his eyebrows.
when he finishes, he looks in the mirror and says “much better.”
phil looks deeper into his reflection and sees a crying dan in the background. he turns around and sees the crying dan.
“dan look!” phil says with joy as he’s pointing at his nonexistent eyebrows.
dan still crying looks at him and runs away.
“YOU NEVER SUPPORT MEEEEE!” phil screeches.
the rest of the day dan cries in his room and phil stares at himself in disgust. until evening rolls around. phil is sitting in the kitchen waiting for the pizza delivery guy to come. dan walks in. he is nervously pacing back and forth. wanting to say something to phil but too scared to. finally he catches a breath and looks at phil.
“you know. what you did today was really brave.”
phil looks at him and turns his head in confusion.
“there has been something i have been hiding, that i didn’t show you, because i was afraid you would leave me.”
dan’s hands are shaking as he moves them to his face. he slowly grabs his eyebrows and pulls them off.
phil could not believe the sight
“these are wigs.” dan says as he throws the eyebrows on the ground.
“y-you shaved your eyebrows? but why?” phil asks.
“i didn’t want to, but a thief wanted to steal them and i had no other choice!” dan starts crying again.
phil gets up and gives dan a hug.
“it’s okay, everything’s going to be okay daniel. there’s no need hide from everyone. let’s show them who’s boss!” phil says with pride
phil pulls out his phone and takes a picture of their naked faces. he posts it to instagram and says “this is the real us.”
dan and phil lost all of their subscribers. the end.
