I love this I love this I love this
Welcome to the consequences of your actions, Three. It said hopefully, “It can’t be a we problem?
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo

oozey mess
Show & Tell
dirt enthusiast

roma★
taylor price
Not today Justin
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

Origami Around

pixel skylines
Xuebing Du

if i look back, i am lost
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
RMH
KIROKAZE
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@alwaysonthetake
I love this I love this I love this
Welcome to the consequences of your actions, Three. It said hopefully, “It can’t be a we problem?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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debates i didn't know existed + a very humorous distinction
hostiles = antagonists that Murderbot is worried about 😳
targets = antagonists that need to worry about Murderbot :)c
i want things but i'm not a very reasonable person #mytruth
“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have an unexplored amount of fondness for a grump kind of bot who, not unreasonably, hates a good amount of people and things and bots, and I aspire to this level of hate while also liking dramatic tv series and hating patterned clothes. The only thing I do not relate to is the hate for JollyBaby, who is a sweetie pie.
married shane x ilya
ilya pays the bill at restaurants by lying that he’s going to the bathroom - shane starts doing this too and now it’s a race to see who can covertly pay first
shane is super outdoorsy and can fix a lot of stuff around the house AND has tools!!!! ilya calls him mr get it done after hearing the GloRilla song
they take polaroids at the cottage
shane INSISTS on russian only days to accelerate his learning
shane uses ilya as his personal weighted blanket and other sensory grounding techniques (“can you grab and pull my hair” “kinky” “no - actually later”)
shane collected ilya’s hockey cards but had to have a huge binder of everyone’s so it doesn’t seem like he’s only collecting ilya’s cards - ilya has shane’s rookie card in his wallet (awwww)
lots of cuteness aggression doesn’t matter who’s around!!!!!!
“listen” “listening”
ilya’s entire camera roll goes from random pictures to shane shane shane - shane sleeping shane eating shane standing infront of the tv claiming he’s not watching shane in hockey gear shane cooking shane with anya shane with the angry kitten face shane at the cottage shane at the camps shane in his childhood bedroom shane shane shane
when apart; ilya sends 100 voice notes a day to shane (shane listens to them all together like asmr)
ilya will kiss shane just to steal lip balm
if shane is laying on the couch ilya will lay on him and put his head in shane’s shirt (“you’re stretching out the material”)
ilya learns the phrase “hate to see you go but love to watch you leave” and uses it constantly
their shared google calendar is run like the navy (“hollander i don’t see blowjobs on thursday? i will add” “STOP IT MY MOM SEES THIS CALENDAR”)
ilya lowballs people on fb marketplace and then uses shane’s account to lowball them further
ilya will lick shane’s face when the situation calls for it
ilya’s snoring is so bad you can hear it from other rooms but it’s the only noise shane can sleep through its like white noise for shane
shane loves showing ilya canadian deep cuts (house hippo commercial!!!)
ilya winking at shane is to shane what shane wearing glasses is to ilya
shane peppers ilya’s face with a million kisses regularly but especially when ilya gets hurt
ilya writes to do lists / grocery lists in cyrillic and his penmanship is gorgeous (shane is surprised his jock hockey player husband has nice handwriting and that it took him 10 years to see it)
ilya calls troy his best friend and shane gets jealous
shane carries the bags when they go anywhere
ilya is shane’s emergency contact but shane’s parents are ilya’s emergency contact
“my shane”
David ‘from McGill’ Hollander
Enforcer. Alternate captain. 7 concussions and counting. He only lost three teeth but he chipped two so he occasionally lisps
Yuna was their unofficial coach (she just kept showing up and telling them all the things they did wrong)
David fell in love at first sight. He scored twice and kissed his glove at her in the stands
Their first date was at the campus cafeteria where they shared chicken wings and a cigarette
Masters degree in finance. Worked briefly for the Irish mob as an auditor (if the police is reading this no he did not; he bought that rolex with legal money)
He proposed with a detailed laid out financial plan for their future, a house listing in a good neighbourhood, a silver ring he bought (gifted from the irish mob shhh) and a plan to volunteer as local a timbits coach
He’s an avid flight radar app user. This is the only app he has installed.
Occasional train spotter and designated family driver while Yuna reads the maps
Scrabble master. Kindle book reader (he has a wallet phone case for his kindle)
Positivity giddy that his son has a boyfriend and can experience something ‘normal’ outside of hockey <3
Excel spreadsheet lover. Don’t you dare mention powerpoint around this man. He’s a sudoku autism man. Numbers are his friends
Doesn’t keep in touch with his parents after he married Yuna, but he’s close with his cousin Tom who Shane calls ‘uncle tom’
Prefers email over texting and don’t even get him fucking started on zoom
Occasional shitstarter and ragebaiter (yuna likes it) “what is youtube?”
Hobby chef, but terrible baker. Still loves watching bake off though
After reading Platform Decay I was suddenly struck with the intense urge to draw Murderbot in a grandma sweater just having The Worst™ time.
no one suffers more than girls who are a bit like their fathers

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okay so my headcanon is that ilya is actually somewhat of a sex god, if only because he used to sleep with both sasha and svetlana, like come on, both of them are high maintenance freaks who would not suffer through bad sex for anything and also GO BACK TO ILYA if he was bad in bed. At the very least, ilya is fucking amazing at eating pussy and ass amirite? ilya is def surprised at shane coming hands free because it's never happened to him before and it gives him such an ego boost, but also he knew what to do? people who are good at sex still need to learn a new person, and ilya did by sucking the soul out of shane before, okay that's it, i'm done
oh i know david hollander talks about his son in law all the time at work and now the bitches in accounting are considering a ban on ilya rozanov conversations
“so then i tell him he doesn’t have to bake me a fresh sourdough bread every week, but of course my son in law loves to delight me—”
“uhh, sure david, can we circle back to the slides?”
-
“you know, my son in law helps me mow the lawn now after my disc injury (i played hockey for mcgill if you didn’t know) and— ”
“cool cool, anyways the powerpoint on the quarterly report”
-
“did you guys know that my—”
“mr hollander we simply don’t have time to hear about how your son in law changed the tires of your car, let’s get back to the audit!”
Boring facts (in my head) about parent David Hollander:
New people at work when introduced to him go "oh, like Shane Hollander" and he BEAMS at that and says "Yep!"
Has a picture of Shane on his desk and the same new people think its a joke until an old timer who probably met Shane at a bring your kid to work day clued them in
Would not let Yuna touch the college fund they set up for Shane until he was out of his rookie contract. What if Shane changed his mind about hockey? What if he got injured and needed a good education? Only conceeded when his son was a multi-millionaire
Only time he has ever gone to HR was when someone stole the baby Shane picture off his desk after he got famous. That's his baby!!! Give it back!!! There were so many memos and all staff emails that it did get returned one night, but a picture of it circulated online so now David only has PR photos at work
His lawyer is an old college friend who he catches up with at least once a year and who reviews the Hollander's will and life insurance policy each year with specific instructions to look after Shane. This annual tradition continues to this day. The lawyer buddy is going to be there for that grown celebrity professional sportsman no matter what
Was so excited when Shane started The Cottage project, and helped him with everything, including liaising with the builders etc. Was delighted to have the first a joint project with his son since school (he helped with art/science/show and tell)
Is really bad with technology but the nice young people at the office help (is not fully cognizant of the fact half the office is in love with him but does correctly suspect the other half want to marry his son)
Always knew he wanted to be a dad, and was devastated when it seemed like that wasn't going to happen, but didn't want to put that on Yuna who was already struggling with it
Sent congratulation cards and presents to all his buddies when they had kids anf was genuinely happy for then but it also killed him a bit. Unfortunately the conversation around men struggling because they wanted kids was not happening in the 80s/early 90s so he kept quiet (and passed that trait on to Shane)
Thought Shane was perfect from the moment he was born, and still thinks that. Can't concieve of why Shane thought he could let them down, he's literally always been Yuna and David's perfect baby
Gets out the good vodka again when he tells Ilya this one day and Ilya starts crying
Thinking about how the 'riden hard and put away wet' brand of free use would be right up Shane The Shlut Hollander's alley. He would cook that up in his beautiful brain one day because Ilya accidentally fell asleep after coming.
Normally, he stays inside Shane for a bit after fucking while they cuddle. They love that, they're so needy and down bad for each other that it's just become a regular part of aftercare for them. And they often doze off a little before waking up and cleaning each other up, or showering, taking the dirty cover off the bed…, but this time they were tired and they really got into it. Ilya came so fucking hard, so he actually completely conks out without meaning to.
In his sleep, Ilya moves away a little and slips out of Shane, so he's kinda just left there, sweaty, cum running out of him. Usually he's so disgusted by it, but maybe just this one time the disgust has something else there. They'd played with degradation almost all week, and Ilya made him take it tonight too, called him his cockslut, his whore, made Shane beg for his cum... so Shane is exactly in the kind of headspace where feeling dirty, messy, discarded is doing something different to him, the kind of unpleasantness he wants to lean into.
Also Shane, like Ilya, is also exhausted, so letting himself relax in that moment and drift off to sleep is easy. And that's what he does.
He wakes up in the morning with Ilya being soooo concerned, because how careless was it to just cum and fall asleep, especially with the kind of play they did. "I didn't want to make you clean up by yourself, sweetheart, I'm sorry", and Shane answers in a low voice, not even being able to look Ilya in the eye, "I didn't".
Ilya looks so confused, and worried, Shane can see all the gears turning in his head trying to assess how Shane feels, how badly Ilya fucked up. Shane can't really bring himself to fully explain, so he just cups Ilya's cheek and strokes it with his thumb, pulling him in for a kiss (bEfOrE bRUsHinG??? 🤨 MY SHANE WAS KIDNAPED!! REPLACED BY LIZARD ALIENS!! 🚨🚨)
Shane takes Ilya's hand, guides it between his legs to reach back to his hole and Ilya can feel it, the mess from the lube and his cum still there, and when he presses in Shane gasps into his mouth. Ilya pulls back and this time Shane is looking at him, heavy lids and parted lips, "If you wanted you could just... if you wanted. If not, then you don't. However you want".
Ilya goes dizzy with how fast his dick gets hard. It's entirely possible the consistency with which Shane makes blood rush to Ilya's dick has caused more damage to his brain than any concussion ever could.
And this is how Shane stumbles into the idea that, yes, they can play with Ilya using him and making him a mess and do aftercare right after, wind down together. But sometimes, in the right conditions, Ilya could also just take what he wanted and leave Shane in whatever state he was, and come back whenever he felt like it, and Shane would just be there in the meantime, sitting with his humiliation and his arousal and his arousal over his humiliation and his humiliation over his arousal.
So Ilya and Shane's first game against the Bears post-outing is a surprising delight. It starts with a jumbotron video of street interviews of Boston fans being like "Yeah we thought Rozy was a total fucking idiot going to Ottawa but DAMN, moving for sexiest hockey player of the year Shane Hollander makes a lot more sense" which then fades into an Ilya Rozanov tribute video interspersed with various thirst-trappy videos of Shane to the song "Where is my Husband?" by Raye.
Ilya is delighted and even does the whole hand-waving choreography for "I would like a ring, a diamond ring" part in Shane's face as he blushes. He does this with his non-dominant hand of course, because they have been holding hands the whole video. (Shane will buy Ilya 7 different high-end diamond rings on Newbury Street the next day for him to pick from. Ilya like a good Slavic trophy spouse will pick all of them.)
And at the end, at the "Grandma said it," part cameras cut to Cliff Marlow in a curly gray wig and fake glasses shouting "Your husband is coming, Roz, don't fuck it up!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.
*looking at myself in the mirror*
Fanfiction is supposed to be cringy. You're allowed to write bad. You're allowed to be cringe. Fanfiction is supposed to be self indulgent. You're allowed to be cringe. Let yourself be cringe. Fanfiction is supposed to be fun. Stop putting arbitrary rules on yourself and be free.