Today you transitioned your physical being to the realm of surrounding light. In my selfishness I want to hold you and have you near me but I understand it was your time to be in the sky

It still isn’t real it still feels like I’ll get a phone call from you any minute and you’ll say

“hey sugarbutt where you been”

Without you, am I still me?

This life was ours, it was to be shared.

Now alone, I walk without the needle to guide into a pumping vein.

Where did you go and why haven’t you called? waking up to myself instead of you is getting old.

Did I die with you? is this a constant loop of guilt and shame and tears? cause I’d like it to stop soon. I’d like to hear you say my name again and not just in my dreams.

Things happen to us in our lives that are inexplicable. I just wish it was me instead of you so your mother could hold you again. So your father could give you that moment of pride you always longed for. So your siblings could laugh with you. So your niece could know her uncle.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity at a life worth living. But I’d exchange it if that meant you’d have what I’ve been given. Everything about you was beautiful and true and kind and admirable. You were grace itself in a human form. I pray to you that you know I can never love another the way I love you. That love is burried inside of me forever and I owe everything I have now to you. Thank you Michael.