// almost chemical //

No one gives all of his heart twice, because the heart which was given once never comes back intact. لا أحد يمنح قلبه مرتين بالكامل، لأن القلب الذي يمنح مرة لا يعود كاملا أبدا

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That… is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

Our love was like white noise. I didn’t notice it until it was gone and his kisses tasted like regret.

It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; you just wake up one morning and you’re not as upset anymore.

Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.

The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.

It’s amazing how much distance one truth can create between two people.

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do my dear is grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.

I don’t have the slightest clue what it is about you, but your soul is so familiar. It’s as if we danced and laughed and drank in a prior life. And I want to do it all over again in this one.

7 billion people experienced 2015 in a different way. In 2015 I had my worst heartbreak. He was not even mine but I was willing to do almost anything just to see him smile and happy, without expecting anything in return. I was so small in his life while he was really big in mine. I freed my time to talk to him while he talked to me in his free time. 6 months went on and all I had were false hopes. So in 2015 I learned the next time I fall in love, I will be brave. I will say no when I need to, and I will say yes when I really should. I will walk away when it is hurting me, I will not stay and hurt myself even more. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.