Tim: Art, this is one of those things. Raylan and Crowder love each other and they hate each other. But it’s always each other.
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@almostharlanquotes
Tim: Art, this is one of those things. Raylan and Crowder love each other and they hate each other. But it’s always each other.

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Boyd: You have always been jealous of me. Raylan: Jealous of what? Your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? Your total disregard for other people’s feelings? Boyd: Uh, to name a few!
Raylan: Just so you know, if you end up in prison again, I won’t wait for you.
Boyd: You won’t have to. I’ll escape. We both know this.
Art: I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired. So I'm going to take a nap, but when I wake up, you are in for it.

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Rachel: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss, I've read books.
Tim: Seriously, I have no idea what to do! Oh wait, Yahoo answers!
Dicky: How was I supposed to know there'd be consequences for my actions?
Tim: Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying.
Rachel: [referring to Tim's plan] That is, bar none, the craziest plan I have ever heard in my life. Tim: [Gesturing to Raylan] Well, you don't hang out with him enough.

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[After a phone call between Raylan and Boyd] Tim: I wish I our phone calls were as flirty. Raylan: He threatened to kill me! Tim: I can do that.
Raylan: It's a little hard to trust someone when they've tried to kill you four times. Boyd: Four? That seems high. Boyd: Oh come on, you're counting earlier, with the chair?!
Art: We're worried about you, Raylan. Raylan: You're worried about me? Rachel: We're worried you're not going to make it, Raylan: Make it to what? Tim: Just in general, because you don't take care of yourself.
Raylan: I like how things aren't weird between us. Tim: Right? 'Cause if somebody walked in here and saw us, they'd be like, "Look at those two totally normal coworkers. I bet they never sucked face." But we did. You sucked my face.
Winona: This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms. Raylan: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends? Tim: Oh, we aren't your friends. Go on. Art & Rachel: Please, don't.

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Tim: Au contraire mon frère! Rachel: Tim, "mon frère" means brother. Tim: Au contraire mon...girl frère.
Raylan: You’re really campaigning for Bitch Of The Year, aren’t you? Boyd: As defending champion, are you nervous?