MamaYuri

I SAW IT ON TWITTER AND HELLOOO????

Yes, I am wicked, a literal manifestation of my mother's sins. I have unfortunately encountered far too many corrupt rich losers and they commit hate crimes right in front of my salad (almost daily even). I ignore it like a professional no fucks giver. I have to flirt with every woman so they know I am the straightest hottest man ever. Indris, my beloathed bro, punched me for that. Can you imagine? Jealous... he can't get any. Alas, that's his fate. Almost broke my golden mask. That was a wild, unforgettable experience. He also hugs me and holds me because he's a touch-starved pleb with abysmal alcohol tolerance. I let him because why waste energy? I changed the rules of our world and faced immense humiliation because I am just charitable like that, no exceptions, and thought poor Indris deserved a chance. Also, it's funny when he gets annoyed so I need to keep him near me. For entertainment, obviously. And make sure he survives so I guess I will conspire against my mom's dogs by teaming up with the toplanders, whatever it's not like I care. Anyway since I am so villain coded, I can't possibly be a ruler. I will graciously give it all to Indris, the one I believe to be a true hero with a heart so gold he shines like sunlight in this dingy mushroom world. Anyway, since I dislike him so much, everyone has to pay a "I don't love him" fee for making me talk about him. Also you're banned from ever speaking of this or I will sue for defamation.