Ally's Blog

Joanna O’Malley/ Obsidian

Joanna O’Malley, who also goes by the alias Obsidian, was born in Dublin, Ireland on June 23rd, 1932. Her parents, Jane and Keith O’Malley, who were Dublin natives, owned a small apothecary shop in the heart of Dublin. She has two older siblings, Sean O’Malley and Rose O’Malley. Joanna was a compassionate person who always put others wellbeing before her own. She was very mentally strong, it took a lot to get under her skin. Many people turned to Joanna when they needed a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, she was not one to ever be judgmental and truly loved to help. During the time of Joanna’s birth, superheroes were on the rise all over the world. Ireland had yet to have one of it’s very own, although many people did not mind it. As crime rates began to increase, many people prayed for a superhero to come and eliminate all the villains that mysteriously began popping up. Little did the people of Ireland know that their problems were only beginning, villains would continue to invade their beautiful lands until a hero came to stop them. Joanna was very head strong from a young age. Often, she would stand up to the neighborhood bullies as well as defend the younger children. Growing up Joanna was fascinated by superhero’s, she kept a close eye Wonder Woman’s victories, keeping a box of newspaper articles detailing her triumphs under her bed. Joanna dreamed of changing the world just as Wonder Woman was, but without powers she knew she was only destined to take over her family’s business one day. Unfortunately, when Joanna was eighteen, she became extremely ill, doctors could not figure out what was causing her illness. Joanna spent many months in the hospital, the doctors did not think she would live to see her nineteenth birthday. Everything changed for Joanna when she was visited by a mysterious woman one evening, she claimed she could cure Joanna’s illness. All Joanna had to do was swallow a small obsidian crystal and all her health problems would go away. Being on the brink of death, Joanna did not think twice and consumed the crystal. Within a week she was cured, her health the best it had ever been. She chose to withhold the information about the mysterious woman in fear of everyone thinking she was insane. It later was discovered that the mysterious woman went by the name of Penelope Greer, also known as the Mother of Darkness or Mod.

Joanna did not discover her powers until she was twenty years old. She was watching her parents shop when a man held her up at gun point and demanded all of the money from the till. Joanna threw her hands up in fear, but to her surprise a black beam of light shot from her palms, causing the man to lose his senses. After that incident Joanna immersed herself into learning of her powers. She not only could eliminate her enemies’ senses, but she had developed strength beyond her wildest dreams. Her dreams of becoming a superhero were coming true. She knew she was destined to help the greater good. As crime rate continue to soar Joanna knew she had to do something. She wanted to keep her family safe from any repercussions that could come once she began fighting crime, so she knew she needed to come up with a disguise. She spent countless nights working on an all-black body suit with a purple stripe across the chest and a black eye mask to conceal her face. Her features were very distinct, her fiery red hair and abnormally piercing green eyes were challenging to conceal at first. Joanna managed to urge her hair color to change each time she put on her suit. Gone was her long red hair, in its place was a short black bob cut. Once her disguise was complete, she began fighting crime as Ireland’s first superhero. Joanna advocated for those who could not defend themselves. She was keen on protecting Ireland’s shop owners and farmers who were constantly targeted by villains. Her goal was to rid Ireland of all the villains and return it back to the safe place it once was many years ago. Joanna also wanted to fight along side her hero, Wonder Woman. Joanna did fight aside her hero, the two women taking on two of Ireland’s high-ranking villains who went by the names Serpent and Electro. The two women were successful, ultimately eliminating both villains.

After two years of consistent crime fighting, she finally came face to face with the Mother of Darkness who revealed to her that she was the one who had gifted Joanna her powers. It later came out that the Mother of Darkness’s true plan was to build an all-women super villain team, each powered by a different crystal and wielding different powers. After Joanna refused to join the Mother of Darkness’s ranks, she was attacked by three of her minions. Joanna was badly injured and taken captive by the Mother of Darkness. She was brainwashed into believing she was a villain and began following along with Mod’s plans. Her appearance changed completely, her black bob turned purple, her body suit changed to all black making her impossible to recognize. The all-women super villain group wreaked havoc on not only Ireland, but the world. In Obsidian’s absence crime began to run ramped in Ireland. Many began to believe Obsidian had abandoned them and began to lose hope.  Upon hearing of Obsidians disappearance, Wonder Woman and many other heroes began to search for her. It was not until Mod and her evil band of women invaded New York City in the United States that Wonder Woman found Obsidian. She saw through Obsidians new look and knew instantly that it was her. Brainwashed, Obsidian fought hard against Wonder Woman and the other heroes. After being electrocuted, Obsidian snapped out of Mod’s mind control. Obsidian did not tell anyone she had been relinquished of Mod’s control. She faked being evil in order to learn what Mod’s real plans were, eventually defeating her and her army of women with the help of Wonder Woman. Mod’s other crystal victims had also been brainwashed, once free of her evil control they joined forces with Obsidian and returned to Ireland to clean up the mess they had made. Upon returning to Ireland the women were met with great resistance from the Irish. Obsidian continually tried to vouch for them, but their initial damage had been done. They were still viewed as being villains and were not trusted at all. Only after they cleaned up the crime in Ireland did people begin to trust them again. It took many years for Mod’s destruction to be completely reversed. Eventually, things returned back to as normal as they possibly could. Businesses began to flourish again and the community finally accepted Obsidian’s comrades. The women decided to call them self the Crystal Force due to the unique way they all acquired their powers. Obsidian was elected to be their leader.

Joanna’s personal life suffered greatly, she always put the greater good and being a hero above all else. Romance and marriage were very low on her list of priorities, she rarely made time for social interactions outside of working her families shop and saving the world. Out of the blue she met a doctor by the name of Emmett Hurley who instant swept her off her feet. The two had a whirlwind romance, eventually leading to Emmett proposing. Joanna knew then she had to make a choice, she could continue her double life in secret without Emmett or she could tell him the truth and hope he still accepts her. Not wanting to give up the life she had built with him, Joanna confessed her secret identity to Emmett who at first had a hard time believing her. Eventually he accepted her other life, even going as far as to try and help her in any way he could. Emmett devoted a lot of time to treating the Crystal Force’s members whenever they were badly injured, he had constructed a small hospital wing in he and Joanna’s home in order to properly take care of the superheroes. Joanna and Emmett were married on October 12th, 1956 on a small sheep farm outside of Dublin. Fighting crime was Joanna’s passion in life, it set fire to her soul in ways that nothing else could. Due to her desire to continue to fight crime, she and Emmett decided against having children. They instead had two dogs who they treated as if they were human children.

Joanna continued to pursue her life of fighting crime for many years. When she wasn’t fighting crime she found the time to obtain a degree in psychology. She would travel and offer counseling to those who could not afford it, often working for many nonprofit organizations. At one point dedicated a lot of her time to helping women who were stuck in dangerous situations, often going under cover to bust trafficking operations. She along with her Crystal Force girls freed over fifty thousand women during their lifetime, even receiving multiple awards acknowledging their accomplishments and hard work.  Obsidian can best be compared to the superhero Wonder Woman. Like Wonder Woman she is successful outside of her superhero double life. She made time to establish herself in a career field as well as fight crime. Like Wonder Woman she was caring and very strong, her strength was unmatched by many of her male counterparts.

Unfortunately, Obsidian met her match in 1978 when one of her undercover operations went terribly wrong. Obsidian was undercover in Thailand; she had been tipped off about a new shipment of women being sent overseas. Due to this tip coming in on very short notice, she had no time to waste. She did not contact her fellow Crystal Force members like she normally would, instead going incompletely alone. When she made it to the seaport right before the ship was set to leave, she was discovered by one of the trafficking ring leaders. Many of the traffickers knew who Obsidian was, they feared her. This trafficker specifically, who went by the name of Lynx, was determined to bring Obsidian down. She had interfered far too many times with his business as well as the business of his comrades. He dedicated a lot of time and money into finding a scientist who specialized in superheroes and their powers. His goal was to find a way to strip her of her powers in order to bring her and her Crystal Force down. After months of research, it was discovered that only by injecting Obsidian with liquid gold could her powers be stripped. Lynx had some of his men distract Obsidian by engaging her in combat. When she was preparing to take their senses, Lynx injected her with the liquid gold, causing her powers to diminish. Left defenseless, Obsidian hit the emergency button hidden in her wristwatch, all of the Crystal force possessed one for instance of dire emergency. Unfortunately, Obsidian was killed before the Crystal Force could arrive. Her death was quickly avenged as Lynx and his accomplices were quickly wiped out. Obsidian body was taken back to her and Emmett’s home. She was given a Viking-style burial two days later.

The 1971 film “A Clockwork Orange” directed by Stanley Kubrick was definitely one of the more peculiar films I have watched. This film is based off of author Anthony Burgess’s novel “A Clockwork Orange”. The film takes place in Britain in what seems be the future, we are introduced to the main character, Alex played by Malcom McDowell, and his group of friends whom he refers to as droogs. The droogs include Georgie played by James Marcus, Dim played by Warren Clarke and Pete played by Michael Tarn. They seemingly are going around looking for trouble, or what they refer to as “ultra-violence”. We follow Alex and his droogs as they go around committing both physical and sexual assaults with zero threat of consequence for their actions. The film begins with Alex and his droogs fighting another group of thugs who they found in the middle of an attempted sexual assault. After, they find themselves invading a writer’s home in the country, physically assaulting the writer, and sexually assaulting his wife. The group of thugs found their horrible crimes entertaining, exhibiting zero remorse for their actions. I found it baffling that they had yet to be apprehended by the law, surely, they had been committing crimes for a while seeing how easy their violent ways came to them.

 While Alex’s parents seem to be slightly naive to Alex’s true whereabouts when he disappears at night, his probation officer is not. After getting wind of Alex and the droogs shenanigans he warns Alex to refrain from anymore crimes. At this point I found myself wondering how someone as sinister as Alex had at some point ran into trouble and only managed to get off with probation. You would think that after running into trouble Alex would refrain from more “ultra-violence”, but his desire to commit crimes clearly outweighed his common sense. To no surprise Alex does not take his probation officers warning, going on to commit one of his biggest crimes yet, murder. Alex decides to invade a wealthy woman, who is referred to as a cat-lady’s, home. Alex attempts to trick his way into her home the same way he did the writers, by claiming there was a terrible accident, and he needs to use her phone to call for help. The cat-lady did not fall for his lie, she instead called the police to report the suspicious activity (37m:30s-41m). While Alex seemed bright when it came to scheming, his slip up of using the same line he had used the previous night to invade the writer’s home was bold in my opinion. For someone who appeared to be a well-seasoned criminal you would think slip ups would not happen. Alex eventually broke in through a window and confronted the cat-lady. She tries to scare him out of her house by hitting him with an object, unfortunately her efforts failed, and she was bludgeoned to death with a peculiar piece of art (38m-43m:18s). Alex attempted to flea the scene, but Dim took action and hit him with a bottle making it possible for police to catch him. Considering how Alex was essentially the leader of the group I found it interesting that Dim hit him with a bottle. It made me question if he actually possessed as much control over the group as he thought he did. Alex is then convicted of murder and is sentenced to serve fourteen years in prison.  

Alex went from your run of the mill delinquent to someone who seemed to have been “saved” by the system. During Alex’s first two years in prison, he made it seem like he had “found” god which I found to be very interesting. After serving two out of fourteen years of his sentence, Alex was given an opportunity to be a test subject for an experimental therapy used to rehabilitate criminals. He was sent to a medical facility to undergo the experiment. While being a test subject does not seem great, the chance to leave the prison as well as having his sentence commuted seems to be enticing enough for Alex. The experiment involved the subject being strapped down to a chair with their eyes forcibly held open by clamps, they are then injected with drugs and forced to watch films that contain sex and violence (1hr:10m-1hr:19m). Alex seemed to be “cured” of all his horrid behaviors, becoming physically sick at when confronted with violence or anything sexual.

 He is then faced with the true consequences his actions had on his victims. His family did not offer him the warm welcome he had expected. To my surprise Alex’s previous gang of droogs joined the police force, although when they finally encounter Alex, their true cruel selves shined through(1hr:39m-1hr:42m). Alex eventually finds his way to the write Frank Alexander, the man who was brutally attacked by Alex and his droogs, home. Alex seems to have forgotten who Frank was, he looked very different from when the attack occurred. He was now confined to a wheelchair and heavily balding.  Frank showers Alex with what seemed like a false kindness which I found quite surprising considering how Alex ruined his life. The ending was quite interesting, Frank got his revenge and it seemed that the government were the ones receiving the backlash for it.

After watching this movie, I did a little research to try and better understand what the actual message the director was trying to send. I truthfully could not pinpoint just one theme. Was it a political statement considering in the end Alex became what seemed to be a political pawn? Or was it more about the consequences of bad choices. After reading several sources it appeared that the theme was how important it is to have the freedom to differentiate what is right from wrong. In a way that makes sense, Alex did lose the option to make choices when it came to violent or sexual situation. It is very clear he would have made the wrong choices had he not been brainwashed. Overall, I found the movie to be quite odd. I personally do not enjoy movies with sexual assaults depicted, they tend to make me extremely uncomfortable. As for the characters I found myself not fond of any of them. Truthfully, I disliked Alex’s character to the point where no amount of personal growth on his part could change that opinion. He was conniving and just all around a horrible person. He had no shame in his crimes, the sexual assault specifically made it nearly impossible for me to see any good in him. The director Stanley Kubrick portrayed Alex for what he was, a manipulative rapist. We were given little to no insight on what made Alex the way he was, he seemed to just be evil at the core. I did however like how retro a lot of the settings were, the funky patterns and bright colors added a bit of cheerfulness to an otherwise “dark” film. The wardrobe being colorful and fun for some characters was a nice touch as well.   Due to the films overall “ultra-violent” nature I would give it a “C” rating.

This week we watched five films that can be categorized in the LGBTQI culture category. I feel that these films could be a representation of what could be considered a “Queer” visual style. My reason being is that I feel every film has a unique visual style that aids in setting the overall tone for the movie. Many of these films, while vastly different, presented similar visuals that served similar purposes.  Truthfully, I am not very knowledgeable on a film’s visual style as a whole. Usually when I watch a movie, I will notice things like the scenery and the setting, aside from that and the story line I am clueless as to what to look for to dictate a films visual style. Upon further research to better understand what visual style actually is, I learned that there are many different components that go into a films visual style. Things like scenery, angles, clothing and lighting can make a huge difference in how a scene is portrayed (Williams). I do believe that the “Queer” visual style could exist, but what I might consider fitting for that style might not be what others would consider. To me the “Queer” visual style may look something like the movie “Call Me By Your Name”.

 Unlike the other movies, Call Me By Your Name offered us a beautiful summer set somewhere in Italy. The entire setting and overall scenery of the movie set such a light, airy vibe full of growth and happiness. This paired with the two main characters who were figuring out their sexuality is what I would imagine a “Queer” visual style would entail. Small details caught my eye throughout the movie, I noticed how the main characters were always well put together and stylish. Even supporting characters seemed to always be dressed well. I also noticed how many of the times Elio and Oliver were able to give into their passions for each other took place at night, in “the cover of darkness” so to speak (1hr:21m-1hr:27m).  While Elio and Oliver would share a kiss or embrace often when they were alone exploring the village, their true passionate moment were shared during the night. Characters in other films, like Brokeback Mountain (26m-29m) and Moonlight (51m:20s-55m:30s) also found themselves giving into their passions at night as well. I feel that maybe a detail like the time of day could also be included in the “Queer” visual style. Nighttime and the overall “masking” of darkness could represent some sort of a safe environment for the characters to discover who they are. Overall, I feel that the “Queer” visual style could basically be a way of presenting each character’s journey of discovering their sexual identity using the right scenery, weather and even time of day among other small details.

The visual style of a film plays a very large role in telling the film’s “story”. Details like the lighting, wardrobe and how the movie is filmed can set the overall tone for what the viewer is to expect. Unlike novels where the dialogue is able to “paint” a picture of what is going on for the reader, directors are tasked with the job of using different components to make the story come to life (McGrail). The overall appearance and actions of the characters plays a huge role as well. In the film Mysterious Skin, we see a young Brian crouched down in a basement closet with a bloody nose. The way the light is focused on his face, blurring out the dark closet around him makes the viewer understand that something negative had just occurred (2m:34s-2m:55s). This paired with the actors confused and almost dazed expression gives the viewer a clear understanding that this child’s story will be anything but positive. The director included unexplained flashbacks of what possibly happened to Brian, although it was very clear that Brian was not sure of what actually happened himself. The director included scenes with blurred figures hovering over Brian, each time he had these flashbacks he would seemingly faint and have a nosebleed (53m:15s-54m). The actor’s performance each time these flashbacks occurred again supported the safe assumption that something terrible had occurred when Brian was a child. 

The other main character, Neil, is a perfect example of how visual style can aid in telling the characters story. Neil’s continuous rendezvous with older men tells us about Neil’s sexuality as well as giving us insight on his childhood traumas. His home life from the beginning also shows us how Neil was so easily targeted by his coach. He came from a single parent household, his mom seemed to be more concerned with her own social life rather then her child. Unlike Brian’s experience, Neil’s experience with his coach was filmed in a completely different way. In the beginning of the movie, we see a young Neil surrounded by bright light as cereal pours over his head. We later see this scene occur with his coach, the mood during this scene was carefree, Neil seemed to be happy and enjoying his time with his coach, which to me showed how different Neil’s relationship was with his coach(13m:18s-14m). Unlike Brian, Neil did not think of it as wrong. It always seemed to be a fond memory for Neil. The director made a point to show Neil’s side in a brighter, carefree lighting and overall shooting style versus Brian’s traumatic experience. While both characters overall aesthetic conflicts one another, the film’s general darker lighting and glum tone makes it very clear that the secret both boys share is anything but positive.

Many films you watch can deeply affect your emotions and alter your perception. A movie about a historic event, for example, can completely change your perception and educate you more on a topic you thought you knew everything about. I feel that “Queer” films can alter one’s perception on the LGTBQI culture. By watching powerful movies like “Boys Don’t Cry” I feel that a person’s entire perception on transgender individuals and their struggles would change. Someone who may have not been aware of these struggles or thought that they were not “that bad” would see an unfortunate reality that many of the transgender community have to face. Seeing someone struggling to be accepted for who they are, and ultimately losing their life for being considered “different” truthfully made me emotional (1hr:48m-1hr:50m). You hear about the horrible mistreatment of people from the LBGTQI community, but seeing it visually pan out in front of you like that was hard to watch. Although “Boy’s Don’t Cry” was just a fictional movie, knowing that people have had to endure similar traumatic experiences like that is truly eye opening. I feel that while a film cannot “queer” an audience so to speak, it could open many people’s eyes to the things they know nothing about and possibly make allies of the LGBTQI community out of them.

The ending of the film “American Psycho” most definitely throws viewers for a loop. Throughout the film it is easy to assume we are watching a very mentally ill man with a thirst for sex and murder commit many gruesome crimes. During the last stretch of the film, we see Patrick, the mentally ill serial killer, cowering in his office as the police helicopters shine spotlights through his windows. He quickly grabs his phone, dialing his lawyer to confess to his crimes and arrange a meeting. The following day he is out to lunch with his friends when his lawyer appears. Patrick at this point becomes distraught as he tries to discuss his previous confession from the night before. The lawyer, thinking this man is completely mad at this point, quickly debunks Patrick’s claims, informing him that he recently had dinner in London with one of his alleged victims Paul Allen. The lawyer then excuses himself, leaving Patrick to return to his friends who are trying to plan their day. Patrick then begins randomly laughing, presenting this strange, sudden burst of happiness that is short lived. The movie finishes off with what seems like an inner monologue where Patrick acknowledges his indifference towards his actions, as well as describes his pain as “constant and sharp”. He goes on to say that his confession in the end meant nothing. The ending confirms that the movie was all events and hallucinations that took place in Patrick’s head.

The ending of “Black Swan” presents some similarities to that of “American Psycho”. The ending of “Black Swan” was essentially Nina’s hallucinations and failure to seek help for her mental illness coming to a head. The big day that Nina had worked hard for had finally arrived, the Black Swan ballet performance was taking place. Within the last stretch of the film, we see Nina enter her dressing room after falling during her white swan dance, to be greeted by her understudy Lily getting dressed in the black swan attire. Lily antagonizes Nina, saying she should dance the black swan instead. Lily’s face quickly morphs into Nina’s right before the two have a physical altercation. Nina slams Lily into the mirror, rendering her momentarily unconscious. The black swan version of Nina, who was previously Lily, begins to strangle white swan Nina. Nina’s neck stretches out, freeing her from the black swan’s grasp, before she picks up a piece of the broken glass and stabs the black swan. The black swan’s face morphs from Nina’s, back to Lily’s. Nina panics, quickly dragging a presumably dead Lily into her bathroom before getting ready for her black swan number. After the number Nina returns to her room to prepare again for her white swan number. While getting ready she is interrupted by a very alive Lily complimenting her performance. This causes Nina to panic, quickly checking the bathroom to find no body. She then realizes she did not stab Lily, but instead stabbed herself. Instead of seeking medical attention, to Nina the show must go on! She nails her final performance, earning a raving response from the crowd. As everyone comes to congratulate her while she lays on the stage mattress, it is quickly noticed that she is bleeding very badly. As she appears to grow weaker, Nina states that she “felt it” and that it was perfect right before the scene cuts out to the credits. It is safe to assume that Nina may have succumbed to her injuries.

These two films, while vastly different, have very similar endings. Both endings were far from what you would expect. In both cases it could be assumed that both lead characters would have been arrested for the crimes they committed. Instead, both characters hallucinated their crimes and struggled a bit to accept it. Patrick had a weird burst of happiness followed by a bout of indifference after coming to the realization that he did not murder Paul Allen. Nina was panicked when she first realized Lily was alive, quickly following the panic was the realization that she had actually injured herself. Like Patrick, Nina had her moment of happiness after realizing no actual crime had been committed, although her happiness came in the form of her ballet performance. Both characters appeared to have similar mental illnesses, although Patrick had more violent tendencies then Nina.

To me, the writers wanted each of these films to have ambiguous endings. These films went beyond entertainment, they made the viewer think and pose questions about what actually occurred in each film. What was real and what was a hallucination or in the characters heads were initial questions that ran through my mind. I feel that these endings were used as tools to shed some light on how severe and intense some mental illnesses can be, especially if left untreated. The ending of both films can be interpreted in different ways, but they both come down to the clear fact that both lead characters were severely mentally ill. In the case of Patrick, it is safe to assume that he will continue to live a life of mental anguish and mental illness. He does not find a sense of catharsis, instead it seems he almost accepts his suffering and pain that is brought on by his mental state. For Nina on the other hand appeared to find her sense of catharsis. Unfortunately for her it appeared to be in the form of her own death.

I had mixed feelings about both endings. The ending of “American Psycho” completely through me for a loop. While it was very obvious he had a mental illness, I did not expect the entire movie to be a fictional product created by said mental illness. I was expecting some crazy arrest or the discovery off all of his victim’s bodies, but instead was meant with the complete opposite. I did like how the ending made me question what was real and fake throughout the movie, but I wish the ending would have been different. In my opinion it would have been interesting to see someone care about Patrick enough to notice something wasn’t right and get him the help he needs. But often in the real-world people do not notice when someone is struggling mentally, so it makes sense why in the film they allowed Patrick to proceed through life untreated. While the ending of “Black Swan” was sad, I liked it better then the ending of “American Psycho”. While Nina’s death was disappointing, I was happy to see all of her struggles to land the swan queen role paid off. She was able to put on a phenomenal performance and receive the praise she deserved. I do wish that she would have been given the chance to live and recover, but overall seeing that she accomplished her dream made the ending a little less bitter.

This week we were assigned to watch four films and one television show that encouraged us to examine youth culture. These films and the television show took place in different time periods, ranging from the 1980’s up until the present.  When watching these films, I occasionally found myself identifying with characters and some of their actions. Surprisingly, I identified with Brian from The Breakfast Club. Like Brian, I was very shy and nerdy. My parents put a lot of pressure on me to do well, I was the oldest sibling which meant I had to set a good example. I was easily intimidated by others just as Brian was intimidated by John. I also had a huge respect for authority, I was very careful to not get in trouble. Seeing Brian constantly cut off during conversation was like looking in a mirror. Being soft spoken, when I did talk, I was talked over constantly, which added to my reasoning to just not talk at all. I never really pictured myself relating to him, I have watched the movie before, but I never really saw the connection until watching it again for my communications class.  

While these films were all different in their own ways, they each presented similar themes. The first theme that popped out to me was acceptance. Many of the characters in these films were seeking the acceptance of the people they surrounded themselves with as well as self-acceptance. In the show Euphoria we are introduced to an array of characters, each fighting their own battles. One character in particular named Kat stood out to me. Kat was always considered the less attractive member of her four-girl friend group. Boys often referred to her as “fat” because she did not fit the typical size 4 boy type that many find attractive. Unlike many characters who were seeking the approval of others, Kat seemed more focused on seeking approval from herself. She showed clear signs of being insecure, but after a video of her preforming a sexual act ended up online that all changed. She blossomed, developing this “hot girl” mentality once she realized how many people found her attractive the way she was. She found the acceptance within herself that she desperately needed. In the film Mean Girls, Cady was a prime example of someone who was seeking acceptance from others. She wanted to fit in so bad that she gave up who she was, transforming herself to fit into the Plastic’s cookie cutter standards. She left behind her genuine friends in order to be accepted by the popular crowd who in all reality did not like her in the first place. Both of these characters can be compared to the youth of today. Today’s youth seek acceptance, whether it be from others or themselves, it seems to be a common goal among many. When I was a teenager I wanted so badly to be accepted, but I was quiet, and awkward, a combination that did not exactly scream “cool”. I found myself struggling to remain true to who I was while also trying desperately to find the “group” that I fit in with. While I struggled for most of my high school experience trying to accept myself as well as be accepted, I ultimately had a revelation my senior year that the only person who needs to accept me is me. I focused on loving myself for me and have not looked back since.  Another theme I felt was present in these films would be the common goal to live life to the fullest. Many characters were focused on attending the next party or living their life the way they wanted to, regardless of consequences. In Mid90s the skater crowd just wanted to skate and party, they did not care who it effected in the process as long as they were having a good time. In Kids, Telly was focused on partying and being sexually active. He had no regard for the safety of himself or the girls he was involved with which ultimately was a major downfall. I feel that the youth today still possess the same mindset. Parties are still happening regularly even though we are in a pandemic. People do not care if they get sick, all that matters is they were living their life to the fullest and on their terms. While I was awkward in my youth, I still attended parties regularly. I was friends with people who were at every party every weekend it seemed, and I truthfully enjoyed every moment of it. Thinking back on it now, I was reckless, but being reckless made me feel alive. I feel that everyone at some point goes through their “I’m indestructible” phase of life, but that phase can really humble you. Living life to the fullest is what being young seems to be all about. A final theme I found common amongst all of the films was the theme of sexuality. While it was more present in films like Kids and Euphoria versus the film The Breakfast Club, I felt its something definitely worth mentioning. Sexuality is very prominent in youth culture. Teenagers are experimenting with not only sex but discovering their own sexuality. Promiscuity is no stranger to many high school students, it seemed like high school was a common time for many to figure out who they were sexually. While in that department I am a very private person, I will say that high school was not really the time for me to come to terms with any type of sexuality. I did however witness many of my friends go on their journey of sexual discovery, and I learned a lot from their stories. In high school I felt that everyone always knew who was sexually active and who was not. It always seemed like people would have all this knowledge on other’s personal lives, but not by their choice. People talked; privacy was virtually nonexistent. It seemed as if nothing was sacred, and while the girls definitely did their fair share of talking, it always seemed like the most outlandish stories came from the boys. The scene in Kids where Telly and his friends were talking about girl’s sexual preference and Jennie and her friends were talking about their own preference is what I imagined these conversations actually went like during my time in high school. Being the quiet girl met people always felt comfortable talking about things around me, and I can recall more then one occasion hearing both genders sides of an encounter and let me tell you they were always extremely different.

When watching these movies, I noticed one other big thing outside of my relation to a character and the very prominent themes all the films appeared to share. I noticed the music, and how it set the overall narrative of the film. I noticed how in each film when there was something traumatic or sad occurring the music reflected the feeling the scene was meant to give. When there was a party going on or when characters were doing something fun the music was fast or upbeat. The music helped set the overall vibe and tone for what was happening, it’s almost as if it gave you an indication of what was going to happen. I took the time to create a spotify playlist which I will link below this post. Each song I chose because I feel it reflected my experiences during my youth well. The first song I chose is “Kids in Love” by Mayday Parade. This song reminds me of the silly romances I had throughout my youth. I always thought I was in love, but at that age who didn’t. The second song I chose was “Therapy” by All Time Low. I was a very angsty and depressed kid, I listened to this song on repeat when I would go through my frequent, spurts of depression. While the song itself is sad, it oddly brought me comfort. The third song I chose was “Killing in The Name” by Rage Against The Machine. This song is a bit strange, but the ending in particularly reminded me of my mentality during my youth. There is a lot of colorful language in the song, but I felt the ending, which essentially is saying I’m going to do what I want, was spot on with my overall attitude during the age of sixteen to seventeen. The fourth song I chose is “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks. I have always idolized Stevie, I would listen to this car during the warmer months, driving with the windows down, and feeling as free as a bird. Honestly anything by Stevie put me in a good mood, I would drive around singing her music at the top of my lungs quite frequently. The fifth song I chose was “ I Want You To Want Me” by Cheap Trick. This song represents my desire to be wanted by someone, which I feel everyone can relate to. I wanted to be in love, I wanted someone to be crazy about me. I watched way too many romance movies during my youth, hence my minor obsession with love. For my sixth song I chose “Rock and Roll All Nite” by KISS. This one I feel is self-explanatory, I wanted to party all the time! This song is fun and upbeat and to this day I still enjoy it. For my seventh song I chose “I Will Not Bow” by Breaking Benjamin. This song represents my depression, I refused to allow it to break me. I shut myself away from the world a lot, I was “a cold-blooded fake” at times. This song pulled me out of some pretty dark times, I still listen to it when I find myself in a less then ideal head space to remind me that I am strong and “will not break”. The eight song I chose is also slightly morbid but is one of my favorites. I chose “Can You Feel My Heart” by Bring Me The Horizon. The lyrics “I’m scared to get close, and I hate being alone, I long for the feeling to not feel at all, the higher get, the lower I’ll sink, I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim” was essentially my headspace when I was sixteen. To say mentally I was going through it would be an understatement. This song was not around when I was a teen, but when I first heard it my mind instantly went back to that time. My ninth choice is far less morbid, I chose “First Date” by Blink-182. It reminds me of the nerves and craziness of a first date. It embodies the awkwardness that you feel at the beginning and then the happiness and excitement that followed. The final song I chose is “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance. This one I chose because to me it is the anthem of what being a teenager is! Teenagers can be scary with how little care or regard for safety they have. They’re wild and angsty. I like how this song covers how mean some cliques could be too, it overall is just a really cool song in my opinion. While my song choices are a bit all of the place, I feel my wide variety of genres and songs paint the picture of who I was during my youth. I was a mess, but I made the best out of it. 

Hello, my name is Allyson Thurston, but you can call me Ally. I attended high school at Newburgh Free Academy, graduating in 2013. I currently am majoring in Psychology; my end goal is to become a marriage and family counselor. I chose to pursue psychology due to my love of helping others. All my life I have found myself being the “therapist” or “mom figure” of my friend group, everyone seemed to gravitate towards me when they needed a listening ear. My goal is to pursue a career through the government, I would like to work on military bases as a counselor and give help to those who have dedicated their lives to keeping us safe, as well as their families. Aside from helping those who need it, pursuing this career would also enable me to travel and live-in different countries. Before covid-19 I used to travel as frequently as I could. I find myself going crazy being restricted to one place for a long period of time, I like to blame it on my adventurous soul. Until 2019 I was fortunate enough to live in Okinawa, Japan, a prime location for anyone wanting to explore the Asian Pacific region. Living in a different country gave me a completely new perspective on life. Seeing how another culture lived made me appreciate the diversity every culture has to offer. Once it is safe to travel again, I plan on returning to Okinawa, it has become a place that I feel most at home. Beside traveling, I enjoy cooking and writing. Cooking for others has become a huge therapeutic outlet for me during the pandemic. While my dinner parties have not extended beyond those who live in my home, it still brings me great joy seeing them eat my creations. I myself am not a picky eater, cooking has made me very open minded when it comes to try things that may seem odd to others. Writing has been a huge hobby of mine since I was in middle school. At the time I was a very shy kid, I rarely talked in school. More times than not, my fellow classmates thought that I was mute. I always found a little enjoyment in shocking everyone when I finally spoke up for the first time. Due to me being quite anti-social I found myself taking to reading and writing. I loved getting lost in a good book, the entire world around me seemed to just disappear. After a while I wanted to challenge myself, reading still brought me great joy but it was becoming a bit repetitive. I remember picking up a pen and an old notebook, completely unsure of what I was even going to write about, yet the second my pen touched paper I found the words flowing out of me. Until this day writing brings me a comfort I could not even begin to describe. I have never allowed anyone to read my work, it has become a nice private “secret” that is all my own. When I’m not partaking in one of my hobbies I enjoy watching television with my husband. Our most recent tv show that we are hooked on is an anime called “Demon Slayer”. Normally I am not really keen on anime, but this show has me absolutely hooked! A show I recently watched by myself was “Bridgerton” on Netflix. I personally would recommend that show to anyone who either enjoyed the series “Gossip Girl” or who enjoys balls and beautiful dresses. I hate to admit that I binge watched the entire season in three days. The most recent movie my husband and I have watched was “The Dirt”, this film is based off of the book “The Heroin Diaries: A year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star” by Nikki Sixx. For those of you who are not familiar with Nikki Sixx, he is the lead singer of the band Motley Crue, a metal band from the 1980’s. The most recent book I have finished was “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone”, I am a huge Potterhead, I currently am rereading the entire Harry Potter book series. Why I am choosing to put reread such a length series is truthfully beyond me, but I can already tell I am going to enjoy it like I did the first time around. I truthfully am not a huge fan of video games. The last video game I can recall playing was Pokemon: Leaf Green on my Gameboy advanced. As a kid, my brother and I would play Pokemon together all the time, but I found that as they continued to add new Pokemon, as well as change up the series I grew up loving, I became disinterested in pursuing the games further. Recently I have had a huge case of writer’s block, so as far as creating anything literary I have nothing to report. I have however, been very busy in the kitchen making different soups and stews to combat the cold weather we have been having. My most recent creation was a shoyu ramen from scratch. Unlike traditional shoyu ramen, I did not stick to a complete soy sauce-based brother. To give it a little pizzazz, I added some beef bones and an array of vegetables to make the broth even better. To top it off I added sliced sirloin steak, a marinated soft-boiled egg, green onion and garlic on top. While the noodles were store bought due to not owning a pasta machine, overall the ramen was a hit! While ramen is one of my top five favorite foods, if I had to choose one meal to eat for my last meal on earth it would be authentic Mexican tacos. I would eat tacos all day every day if I could! If you have made it this far, thank you for reading my first ever blog post. I look forward to reading each and every one of your posts and getting to know you all better throughout this semester.

I wanted to include some photographs from my time in Japan. I would love to one day live there again, Okinawa will forever be home to me. The first photo is of my husbands R32 GTR, the car scene was phenomenal over there. The second is of a crepe in the popular American Village/ Chatan area. The last photo is of me at a hidden beach some friends and I found when we were out exploring. The third and forth were during a trip to Osaka during Sakura (cherry blossom) season. We managed to also visit the Shitennoji Temple, which was by far one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.