Just a mix of everything that make my soul shine

I would have cursed both brothers, but being near Loki turned my tongue to mush. My brain worked just fine around Thor, but his brother, Tall, Dark and Skinny, shook me like a boggle board. For some reason, whenever I spoke to Loki, I got mean and sarcastic, and for that reason, I did my best to avoid him and avoid speaking to him.

I knew why.

It wasn’t for “some reason”; it was because I was head over heels for Loki but too afraid to risk my friendship with Thor to pursue it.

Loki ushered me in politely and tried to take the tray of brownies from me, but I held onto them tightly.

“Hello, darling. You look ravishing tonight. And you brought baked goods. How delightful.”

“Where is your brother?” Side stepping him, I took the brownies into the kitchen, sat them on top of the stove, and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“I’m well. Thank you for asking. And yes, darling - I missed you, too, but that’s what you get for avoiding me-“ Loki steamrolled over my question, feigning politeness while he leaned against the counter.

Ignoring him, I threw my head back and called for the elder brother, yelling over Loki’s semi-courteous diatribe.

Loki sighed, giving up. “The oaf is in his - “

“Bedroom!” came a booming voice from down the hall.

“Got it.” I took my drink with me and went to Thor’s room, feeling Loki’s eyes on me. I entered without knocking and was met by a half dressed man with the body of god. Every time I saw him shirtless or watched him open a jar of pickles, I wondered if there was something wrong with me for not being attracted to him. It astonished me that I found Thor unattractive, and yet I wanted to climb his birch- tree-looking brother like a freakin’ polecat.

“Explain.” I demanded, slamming the door and locking it behind me.

The look on his face said he knew he was in trouble. “I can explain...”

I’d caught him putting on deodorant before he pulled his shirt on. He held his hands up to pacify me, old spice still in his hand.

“Then do it.” I would have thrown my beer bottle at him, but I wasn’t done with it.

“I invited Jane to movie night.” He pulled his shirt the rest of the way on and took my beer from me. He finished it in one sip and set the bottle on his dresser. “I’m sorry, but I really like her, and I thought you could do your girl talk thing and be my wingman.” He got down on his knees and clasped my hands reverently in his hands, begging.

I pulled away from him and flicked him in the forehead. I liked Jane, and so did Thor. He was head over heels for her to the point it was nauseating to what. I felt myself softening just a little.

“She asked who else was coming, and I panicked. You and Loki were the first two that came to mind, and - I’m sorry.” He got to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

I glared at him for a moment but the puppy dog face he gave me made me crack.

“But Loki?” I hissed. “You know I can’t do Loki. I can’t.”

“Because you’re madly in love with him?” Thor found my crush on his brother hilarious and teased me about it whenever possible. “You should just give in. You two could get married and be my real sister, and make angry, little babies with bad attitudes.” Thor disappeared into his bathroom; I could hear him gargling mouthwash and spitting it into the sink. He returned, minty-er than he had been a minute before. “Please don’t be mean to him the entire time? His poor heart can’t take it.”

I opened my mouth and closed it without a comeback. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not mean to him.”

Thor looked at me incredulously. “You’re incredibly rude to him!” He grabbed the beer bottle off his dresser and unlocked his door. “My brother adores you, and I don’t know why you insist on being so mean to him. You should give him a chance.”

“What?” I jumped against the door, slamming it shut on him. My stomach dropped, and I knew that I had to look panicked because I felt panicked.

Thor smiled at me knowingly. “You’re only that mean to people you like.”

“That’s not true.” I argued, knowing he was right. That was my toxic trait: shitting on people I had a crush on.

“Please. I have known you for how many years? Every man you have dated, you fought with.” He pulled the door open with me leaning against it, and I was pushed to the side. I ran through my list of exes in my head. Patrick. Kyle. Jeremy. Yup, he was right - but in my defense, they had all been assholes. Loki was different. He was an asshole, but he was also smart and every now and then, he was actually nice. No; maybe I had it backwards. He was usually nice and only sometimes an asshole?

The doorbell rang and interrupted the argument I was having with myself. Resigning myself to playing the ever-helpful wingman , I joined the rest of the group in the living room.

Thor had his hand on Jane’s lower back, and she was leaning against him affectionately. They were cute together. I liked Jane; she was good for him, and if Thor needed me to suck it up, I would (but I would complain about it later).

I wandered back into the kitchen to grab another beer. Unsurprisingly, Loki was there. No matter how hard I tried to avoid him, he always found me. “Hey.” I pulled open the fridge, pulled out two beers, and popped the tops off on the edge of the counter.

“Oh, so now I get a ‘hello’?” Loki raised an eyebrow at me. “Propriety dictates that you greet someone when they meet you at the door, or were you raised in a barn?” His arms were crossed over his chest, but his blue eyes were light and teasing.

“They didn’t teach me that on the farm.” I deadpanned, handing him a beer.

He snorted. “I forgot you grew up in the country, darling. I apologize.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the counter facing him. I’d never heard this place be called the country, but here we were. “Not all of us grew up in the city and went to prep school, Loki darling.”

Loki smirked and held my eyes while taking a long pull of his beer. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stepped closer. My breath hitched in my chest as he caged me in with his body. His hair brushed my shoulder as he bent low to put his mouth at my ear. “I like my name on your lips.” He kissed my cheek. “I’m going to make you change your mind yet.” As quickly as he had advanced on me, he retreated and offered his arm politely, as if he hadn’t just set my insides on fire. “Shall we?”

Caught off guard, I slid my arm in his and tried to ignore the way the warmth in my belly spread through my limbs. The place where my arm rested against his burned, and the knowing smirk on his face when he handed me my beer turned my face pink. Loki guided me into the living room where Thor and Jane were already curled up onto a couch, scrolling through movies.

We exchanged pleasantries while taking our seats. As I pulled my legs up onto the couch, Loki sat next to me, close enough that I could smell him. He smelled clean and cold and entirely too distracting. I zoned out, hyper-aware of how close he was to me until I heard Thor call my name.

“What?” I hadn’t been following the conversation. I’d been reconsidering my adamant refusal to pursue anything with Loki. He was awfully close and was being awfully charming.

“Are you okay with this movie?” Thor asked, nodding towards the tv. It was a paranormal thriller about the devil and demons overtaking a house and the family that lived in it. Not only did I not like horror movies, but I didn’t like anything with demons or the devil in it. Before I could answer, Loki spoke for me.

“You know she doesn’t like that type of movie. Pick something else.” He sounded irritated that it had even been recommended.

Thor gave a pleading look, and I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I can handle it.” Loki looked at me incredulously, and I shrugged. I had every doubt that I would be able to handle it, but Jane looked eager to see the movie, and Thor had asked me to be his wingman. I felt obligated, and I could always sleep with the lights on.

Thor pressed play and turned off the lights. As soon as the opening began to play, I began getting nervous. I jumped as Loki’s leg bumped mine, and he gave me a knowing look. He draped a blanket over us, and I pulled my legs up onto the couch and crossed them under me.

“So nothing bites my feet.” I whispered in explanation. Bless his heart. Loki solemnly agreed without judgement and stretched his arm out behind me along the top of the couch. These moments of sweetness were one of the reasons I was crazy about him, and they were almost enough to convince me to give him a chance.

The opening of the film already had me terrified, and it didn’t take long before I was hiding my face in the blanket and leaning into Loki. This stupid family. Not only did they not check the property or police records to find out the house’s history - they hadn’t even done a quick google search to make sure that “the house that seemed too good to be true” wasn’t a portal to hell.

Spoiler: it’s always too good to be true, and it’s always a portal to hell.

I knew it was a bad idea for the Mom to follow the spooky noises into the kitchen, and I tried to warn her, but she didn’t listen. When she went into the room, her hands shook when she brought them to her mouth to cover her terror. The chairs around the kitchen table had been stacked on top of it in an impossible tower that defied the laws of physics. Every cabinet door stood open and every drawer had been pulled out.

Knowing what was going to happen, I reached blindly for Loki’s hand on the back of the couch and clutched it to my chest. All at once, the cabinet doors and drawers slammed shut, and the pile of chairs toppled to the ground. I screamed and nearly jumped into Loki’s lap.

“I should have watched a scary movie with you months ago,” he said in my ear, stretching one leg out on the couch and opening the other wide to make room for me between them.

“Shut up.” My face was buried in his chest and the blanket was pulled up to my nose. I peeked over at Thor and Jane and saw them both completely unaffected and riveted by the movie, sharing a bowl of popcorn like they were watching a romcom and not the most terrifying movie ever made.

Loki’s thumb stroked the back of mine. “I would have been delighted to simply hold your hand, but this far surpasses that.” He gently pushed the hair out of my face, and his fingers tickled as they grazed my cheek. I swatted his fingers away but refused to let go of his hand.

“Don’t make this weirder than it is,” I hissed. Loki’s response was to reposition us so my back was against his front, and my hips were wedged in between his legs. He kept his left hand in mine and placed the other in my lap.

“There’s nothing weird about two people who are fond of each other enjoying one another’s company.”

I jumped as something else terrible happened on screen, and Loki’s arm around me tightened. I clutched his hand tightly, only feeling slightly terribly that I was probably hurting him. Loki brushed a kiss to my temple and hushed me quietly.

“Do you want to turn this off?” His eyes were worried, and I could tell he was sincere.

I shook my head, loosened my grip on his hand, and looked over my shoulder at him. “They’re having fun. I don’t want to ruin it”

Loki clicked his tongue at me. “Forget them. Do you want to go do something else?”

The woman on the screen screamed as a dark entity began pulling her down the hallway by her hair, and I leapt off the couch and pulled Loki with me. I ran into the kitchen and turned on every light in the room.

“You forgot the oven light, darling.”

Glaring at him, our hands still joined, I slapped the oven light button.

“Range light?”

Our stare off continued as I reached above the stove and tried to hit the range light button on the microwave. I missed, and the vent fan kicked on, the unexpected noise sending me jumping back into Loki’s arms.

He took my other hand in his and turned to face me. “You need to calm down,” he said quietly. “Do you want to go get ice cream?”

Too embarrassed to look at him and feeling pathetic for being so scared, I nodded cowardly.

“I have chocolate cherry and vanilla at my place and Only Lovers Left Alive ready to go on the DVR.”

My eyes snapped to his and narrowed, but I still held on to his hands. “Those are my favorites. Why do you have my favorites in stock at your house?”

Loki smirked and leaned in to whisper in my ear. “My brother set you up.”

My head tilted in confusion.

“Silly woman,” he said. “You really think Thor needs help capturing Jane’s heart? She’s already smitten with him.”

I looked over at Thor and Jane on the couch.

It took you a long time to trust him, and furthermore, it took Loki a long time to trust you. Something you think of as quite a feat. It wasn't easy, letting your heart being broken thrice, getting abandoned in the worst ways possible. You would've given up if not for the innocence that hid beneath the strong, unbreakable facade. Your broken sobs, choked breaths of pain in the intensity of your heart breaking echoed in his ears always, making him surrender one day. Kneeling in front of you and giving his heart to you. Literally, the man of theatrics smiled softly at you, creating a realistic beating heart with his magic and presenting it to you with a bow. Like a proud knight to serve his queen, his goddess.

The unexpected sensation of his semi grinding against your needy pussy snapped you out of your thoughts. A feeling you can't explain even if you had all the words in the world. A whine broke free from you, earning you the glorious sight of his smirk. "Indeed you have, riled me up quite a bit. Naughty enough to tease me in front of all the Asgardians darling?" His smirk faded into an intense scowl, animalistic and preying onto your body.

You tried to mask the aching of your core, the way your stomach curled up at his stare by looking away. A rough hold on your jaw with his hand forced you to look back at him. "Feeling too shy now are we? How pathetic, I thought you were an attention hungry whore with your actions tonight" Your lips were squeezed, puckering just the right amount for him to bite. Fuck you were in for it today.

With the snap of a finger, your body was flashed naked in front of him, your supple skin greeting his hungry eyes. "Such a sight to behold, isn't it love? Too bad all the Asgardians aren't able to see it." He smirked, making you stand on your feet, loving how they wobbled. "Can't stand properly? I haven't even begun yet slut" His feet fell backwards, fixated on your throbbing pussy and your perked nipples from the sudden cold.

"You know, I'm about to punish you, right?" He scanned your eyes, speaking every word softly. You blushed at the sudden tenderness, it reminded you of how much he truly loved you. Something you will need to hold onto later.

You nodded, gulping and looking at him. He made you feel like a shy virgin all over again. The Alpha male energy too much for you to handle at this point. "Good girl, come on then darling. Show me how annoyingly needy you were. On your knees."

Your whole core ached with the need for his cock, dropping onto your knees for him, looking at him with puppy eyes. Too bad you knew it won't work on him. "Spread those knees for me, I want you to spread enough so there's space for you to play with yourself. You're going to give me a filth show after all." He scoffed, leaning against a chair that created out of nowhere, just in front of you.

You nodded, feeling even more submissive than ever before, gently gliding your hand around your wet folds and pinching your clit gently. Fuck you wanted him to do that so bad, wanted his fingers to fill you up, curl in just the right manner and his hand to spank your clit mercilessly. He could read your mind like an open book, you weren't good at hiding the lewd thoughts anyway, it showed on your face clearly. "Imagining if it was me instead of you? If it were my long fingers instead of your tiny ones hmm? Maybe you would've got the privilege to get off on my hands if you were obidient." He rolled his eyes, mocking your miserable and needy state. Somehow the slight degradation only made you yearn for more.

"Loki, please—"

"Ah ah ah, it's your highness to you. My little sex slave."

"Your highness, please! Please touch me, I want to come so desperately." You whined, no matter how fast you went, you just couldn't replace the skill of a millennia old god.

"Please, please touch me—" Loki imitated you, bursting into a chuckle. "How pathetic."

You were disappointed, you needed him too bad. You were exactly where he wanted you to be. Disappointed at yourself, utterly devastatingly needy for him and writhing in lust. "I wonder if I would fall asleep watching the boring show you're giving me pet." You heard his lacy voice, feeling him closer as his forefinger and thumb pinched your nipples mercilessly. You moaned out in pure estscy, feeling your clit pulse. You were about to come undone, just by his torment on your sensitive nipples.

"Look at that, so perky, so very hard for me to taste." He leaned on his knees, pulling you closer by the waist & almost making you lose balance. His hot breath fanning over your areolas and his tongue swiped along your nipples, rolling them circularly and nibbling with his teeth. Your moans echoed in the hall, the subtle nibbling on your nipples caused you to whine.

"You're whining a lot darling, might confuse you for a bitch if you were to behave like that." Loki leaned away, staring at you sternly. He was not kidding, atleast not tonight. "I have just the right punishment for this exertion. Spread your needy cunt lips for me." He ordered, and the fingers of both of your palms worked accordingly, spreading you wide open, showing your puffy clit throbbing in need.

A chaste kiss took you by surprise, making you breathless as you felt the sudden jolt of pain and pleasure surging through you. A muffled whine caused him to slide his tongue inside you. Your bare clit was spanked right on the spot. It almost made you tear up. Before you could break the kiss to breathe and take in the pain, another one followed... You screamed this time, glossy eyes squeezing shut and a stray tear sliding down your cheek. "Should I gag you? It works with that stupid loud shrieks of yours." He scoffed, eyes darting to your swollen, red clit. "How adorable—" a pinch on your clit between his forefinger and middle finger followed just afterwards, making you scream out.

"Aww, does it hurt darling? Probably does but you are dripping now. Don't tell me you like it." You sniffled, nodding softly. His actions were slipping you into your subspace. Pulling your hazy thoughts into a more prominent fog that made you lose your mind.

"Now then, I won't fuck you. That is your punishment." Loki shrugged, picking you up bridal style and laying you down the comfortable bed. You whined, pouting and squirming at the decision. "Please, please Lo— Your Highness! Please! I'll be good for you, I promise." You babbled, sniffling and spreading your legs invitingly, hopefully looking at him, expecting him to change his decision.

All in vain, because it earned you another slap on your clit, making your back arch up in the painful pleasure coursing through your body. "Needy, filthy, cunt of a needy, filthy, slut." He amusingly smirked, finally letting his thumb rub slow, teasing circles on your puffy, red clit.

"Your clit is swollen, it's almost coming out of your pussy lips. How lewd, is it as attention hungry as you? Looks like it." He chuckled, increasing the pace into faster, more prominent circles.

Your mind was hazy, you were mindless and floating. The knot on your stomach tightening, your toes curling and your back arching. Fuck you were so close, another swipe and you'd just come—

"Oh, maybe I forgot to mention. You're not allowed to come either, love." Loki shrugged, dragging his fingers away from you teasingly slow, enjoying your failed attempt to grind against them by moving your pelvis.

The air conditioning unit was broken. The heat inside your and Loki's shared apartment was starting to become too much. Even with all of the windows open, the two of you were still sweating more than you thought was possible – well, you were, at least.

"I just don't understand how you're not sweating like I am," you scoff – the heat getting to your nerves and making you snappy.

Loki chuckled at your frustration. "I've told you, kitten, it's my blood."

"There's no way your blood can keep you from getting hot," you rolled your eyes – picking up a folder, using it as a fan, and resting your feet and legs on Loki's lap as the two of you watched television on the sofa. The God of Mischief began to rub your feet and legs – the feeling of his cold skin and soft touch helping to calm your nerves and cool you down simultaneously.

Loki grew quiet all of a sudden – prompting you to wonder what was going through his mind.

"I'm sorry, babe," you apologized – thinking that you had somehow upset him.

"You didn't do anything," Loki smiled at you. "I promise. I'm just...thinking."

"About what?" you asked – your curiosity growing. "Something bad?"

Loki took a deep breath and placed small kisses on your feet and shins – hoping to distract you from his change in mood. "Baby," you chuckled – his lips beginning to tickle your skin, "that's not gonna work." Loki stopped, and he looked at you with saddened eyes – the conflict written clearly on his face. Realizing that you'd have to convince him you were safe to talk to, you sat up and rested on your knees – holding his face with both of your hands. You pulled his lips to your and smiled once you broke away from the soft kiss. "Please, Loki," you began quietly – your nose against his, "let me in."

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You want to know why I'm never hot and sweaty?" he asked – wanting to make sure you wanted the answer.

"Yes," you whispered – pleading with him as your eyes searched his. "Please, my God."

Loki nodded, and he stood up from the couch – taking his shirt off and throwing it across the room. Unconsciously, you licked your bottom lip – earning a chuckle from the God of Mischief. Suddenly, you watched as his skin started turning to a beautiful shade of blue – gorgeous markings adorning his body and face. He was beyond beautiful. You're mouth was opened in pure awe – not knowing what words to say. When he opened his eyes, you stared at him – possibly too much because he quickly looked away from you – wishing he could hide away forever. You got up from the sofa and slowly approached him – wiping away a tear that escaped down his cheek. He was freezing, but you wanted to feel more of him. Gently, you placed a kiss on his cheek – causing the god to open his eyes and look towards you.

"What're you -,"

You weren’t opposed to the idea at all, but you didn’t know if Loki even had ‘girlfriends’ or if he wanted to be in a committed relationship. The thought of having that conversation with him gave you immense anxiety, so you hoped he would take a hint and man up. You felt you had a strong connection with him, as you’ve never felt this toward anyone before. He made you happy.

His flirtations only escalated from there. He began caressing your face, wrapping an arm around you, and leaving you sexually frustrated.

One day Loki, Clint, Natasha, and yourself were ordered on a mission. You found yourself fighting alongside Loki against HYDRA wannabes that were organizing an attack on S.H.I.E.L.D. at a stereotypical warehouse filled with opposing soldiers.

An enemy managed to swipe you legs out underneath you, but you never hit the floor. Loki had catched you just in time and threw one of his daggers while making eye contact with you, killing the man instantly.

You smiled gratefully up at him as he intensely stared into your eyes. His head slowly moved towards your own and your heart began beating uncontrollably. You closed your eyes in anticipation and-

“A little help over here, love birds!” Natasha yelled while fighting off three people at once.

Loki seemed to snap back to himself and assisted you up. Loki took off towards Natasha with you following behind, still reeling from the almost kiss.

From the corner of your eye, you instantly noticed a HYDRA agent hiding behind a pillar holding a large military knife, ready to strike at Loki, who was lost in his own world. You quickly jumped in between the two right as the man raised his arm to impale him. This all happened in a split second, so you didn’t think to instantly attack.

Loki stumbled back in confusion before he put two and two together. Your body clenched in fright, but merely acquired a minor wound on your right arm.

The man who tried to attack Loki is now splayed out on the ground with an arrow in his chest. You looked around to see Clint pointing his bow in your direction, an arrow gone from his quiver. Clint winks at you before turning to fight.

Loki binds his leather covered arms around you and tugs you into a corner away from the chaos.

He bends over to see your jumpsuit has been ripped and between the tears is a deep scrape lightly oozing blood. He quickly conjures a rag and compresses it while looking at you frantically.

“What were you thinking?” he mutters angrily.

“I don’t know…” you say sheepishly.

“You could have died.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“I’m not the kind of person you want to risk your life for,” he seethes.

You furrow your brows, “You are to me.”

He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, “You shouldn’t.” Loki tugs you into his chest as he hugs you tightly, afraid of letting you go.

You stand in silence, and the air grows thick with unsaid feelings.

“I can’t think straight when I’m with you. You’re all I think about. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been when I’m with you,” Loki confesses into your ear.

Your eyes well up with tears as you respond, “I feel the same...”

His hand crept up from your back to the back of your head as he pulled back to look at you.

“Be mine?” he asks.

You smile and cup his cheek, “I already was. I’m yours. Forever.”

Loki leans forwards, “I hope so.”

You could swear you felt the electricity connecting your lips with his, and he grew closer and closer. Your eyes close as he finally fits his lips to yours. Fierce flames grew deep within your body as he naturally assumed control and gripped your hair in his slender hand that could easily kill you.

He rips himself from you and squints, “Are you positive? I’m a lot to handle and-”

You giggle and eagerly interrupt him with another deep kiss.