AllHailBrittania!!

As requested by nynynightmare

NB: Italics signify internal monologue. Why isn’t the past tense of ‘run’ ‘runned’?

1. With excessive loyalty

Cornelia: Why is it always so hot in this building?

Cornelia: …

Cornelia: Guilford, your duties don’t extend to fanning me when I’m hot.

Guilford: But Your Highn-

Cornelia: That’s an order.

2. With life-saving

Guilford: Your Highness, NOOOOOO!

Cornelia: Guilford, if you knock another meal out of my hands, I’ll have you guillotined.

Guilford: But Your Highness, I saw the cooks sprinkling something on it!

Cornelia: Salt?

Guilford: …

Guilford: So I panicked.

3. With utter devo-

Jeremiah: Wait, wait - Lord Guilford, what do you think you’re doing?

Guilford: Normally I wouldn’t do something so improper, but the list demanded that I…flirt with Her Highness.

Jeremiah: Guilford, none of this is flirting. This is just production-line loyalty.

Guilford: What?

Jeremiah: Think about it, if my loyalty was flirting I would be one hell of a loose man.

Guilford: Well, at least you’re self-aware, Orange Boy.

Jeremiah: …Listen, do you want me to help you or not?

4. With flowers

Cornelia: Guilford!

Guilford: Y-Yes, Your Highness?!

Cornelia: Someone has left flowers at my doors!

Guilford: A-Ah…do you like -

Cornelia: I want you to assemble a bomb disposal unit immediately, along with chemical weapons experts!

Cornelia: Terrorists think they can fool me with romance? Hah! No man would be foolish enough to court me with such pathetic flowers!

Guilford: …Yes, Your Highness.

5. With a poem

Cornelia: “To my dearest Your Highness…”

Cornelia: “I love the purple of your hair”

Cornelia: “And your face is so very fair”

Cornelia: “Destroying the enemy in their lair”

Cornelia: “For the glory of Britanni…yeah?”

Cornelia: …

Cornelia: Clearly this is some kind of terrorist code.

Guilford: …Be strong, Guilford…

6. With chocolates

Cornelia: POISON

Guilford: [cries]

7. By…asking her out?

Guilford: Jeremiah suggested that we do something together that we both enjoy…I hope she’ll say yes.

Guilford: Uhm…Your Highness!

Cornelia: Yes, Guilford?

Guilford: So, I was wondering if…maybe…you might like to…crush the rebels amassing on Mt Fuji? With me?

Cornelia: You’re not usually so timid when discussing battle strategy, Guilford.

Guilford: Damn it…obviously she prefers assertive men!

8. By being assertive

Guilford: Your Highness!

Cornelia: Hm?

Guilford: You will be accompanying me to the movies!

Cornelia: …Are you commanding a Princess of Britannia?!

Guilford: M-Mercy!

9. With flashcards

Guilford: I really don’t feel comfortable saying any of this, Jeremiah.

Jeremiah: Trust me Guilford, it’ll work. I’ve had experience, unlike some.

Cornelia: Ah, Guilford, I was just looking for you.

Guilford: Uhm… [rifling through flashcards] Do your…legs hurt, Your Highness?

Cornelia: …Not…particularly…

Guilford: From running through my mind all day?

10. From a jail cell

Guilford: YOU IDIOT

Jeremiah: “Thank you for visiting me, Lord Jeremiah” would have been the polite thing to say.

Guilford: You are the worst wingman ever. 

Jeremiah: Well, forgive me for not taking into account that she might think you’ve been geassed. It’s hard to cover every angle…

Guilford: Leave.

Jeremiah: Ah…revenge is sweet.

Guilford: Wait…Jeremiah! Jeremiah, you planned this?! Was this about my “you can go work on an orange farm” joke?! You are so over-sensitive! ORANGE!

Jeremiah: Hahaha….Mwahahahahah…hah.

As requested by anon

Happy Easter everyone! I was considering doing an Easter-themed List but what would that even entail? So have some Star Wars instead, it’s better.

Edit: Sorry this was late, my queue is being weird because of the clock change.

C.C. and Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan: So did you mentor the protagonist?

C.C.: Well, I gave him his power. And I guess I told him how to use it.

Obi-Wan: You guess?

C.C.: I mostly told him some vague metaphors like “this is the Power of Kings” and “those who use Geass are doomed to walk a path of solitude”. I thought it was helpful but Lelouch didn’t really seem to appreciate it.

Obi-Wan: So, like…”May the Force be with you”?

C.C.: I feel like your ones are too upbeat.

Lelouch and Luke

Luke: I always wanted to do something great with my life, and the Empire was the reason Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were killed, so I had to do something to stop them.

Lelouch: Hm.

Luke: What? Doesn’t that explain it?

Lelouch: Yeah, but…are you sure they’re dead?

Luke: Huh?

Lelouch: It’s just that I rebelled against an Empire to get revenge for my mother’s death, and she turned out to be fine. And evil. Do ghosts exist in your universe?

Luke: Now that you mention it…

Lelouch: You might want to prepare yourself for a shock.

Euphemia and Leia

Leia: Rebellious-princess-five?

Euphemia: Rebellious-princess-five!

[hi-five!]

Leia: To the success of the new Republic!

Euphemia: To the…wait, your rebellion actually worked?

Leia: Yes, we won through teamwork and adorable furry animals. What happened with you?

Euphemia: Oh…you know…same thing, pretty much…

Lloyd and Han

Han: No way, I’m not having you tinkering with the Falcon!

Lloyd: But don’t you want it to not break down all the time?

Han: It’s an endearing feature!

Lloyd: I could give it a hadron cannon! Slash harkens, too! Maybe some arms, ooh, and some legs, maybe even a torso!

Han: If you make my ship into a giant C3-PO I’m going to throw you out the airlock.

Suzaku and Darth Vader

Suzaku: Can someone explain to me why I’ve been paired up with the main villain? I’m not sure I like these implications.

Vader: I turned away from my own kind to become the ace of a vast empire suppressing my people.

Vader: I have attempted to kill my Emperor and have confronted an old friend from my days before my change, now an enemy.

Vader: Also I spent most of my time inside a robot.

Vader: So unless you’ve had some kind of similar experience…

Suzaku: …