allen being a dick @allenbeingadick - Tumblr Blog

‘Taylor Swift's lyric 'hate never made anybody less gay' is pretty arguable. Random thought that was in my head as I woke up today’

Texts this on a Sunday morning.

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Basic bitch or Allen?

I have a taxonomy of self help/improvement. Have I told you about it

allen

#twosentencecharactersummary

Oh, that's where Del Posto is. I was there last weekend. Not at Del Posto–I was shirtless in the park.

Allen

Appreciate the head’s up.

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What does this even mean?

Like I’m not willing to sacrifice the garage door kitchen, shipping container room within a loft, semi outdoor shower space for anyone.

you know who

#nosacrifices

he can identify sarcasm

lexi: “i haven’t seen a movie trailer in, like, a hundred years”

allen: “NOW THAT’S AN EXAGGERATION!!!!”

i've been really into Avis lately

#butdoesheevenrentcars

filet mignon. so tender. so juicy. that shit ruined me.

#he once ate really good steak in texas

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is there a job code for this?

texts this to his coworkers

sends to the entire office.

when it rains, it pours

“Rain jumpsuit son”

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shirtless in midtown

Unnamed: I'm always surprised that people walk around shirtless in midtown manhattan.

Len: yeah I love doing that

dude, people dying in the subway is so unnecessary. it's why you need to be able to lift your own weight

T

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allen being a dick