jordanmyers10:
…it just kinda happened? I don’t know. And now there’s a kid coming. I know fuck all about kids. Simon keeps handing me Charlie and I keep thinking I’m going to drop him.
You’re a goddamn idiot. Let me get that out first. You’ve now tied yourself to Satan’s mother permanently. I didn’t even know demons could create life. I feel like we should call the Vatican. Like what the actual fuck? Goddamn.
Okay, I’m done. You don’t have to know anything about kids. I definitely don’t and I have four. All you gotta know is to not let them put themselves in immediate danger. They’re pretty resilient things. Basically, anything you wouldn’t let near yourself, don’t let near them. The doctors and teachers and shit will tell you all the rest. You figure it out as you go.











