Azriel Theory
What if Azriel wasn't chasing unattainable females but was looking for someone he could trust and his pool of candidates was just so small. He was brutalized by his family, taken from his chosen brothers, forced into the role of spy. He likely can't trust anyone. He doesn't want to bring anyone into the IC that could be a spy. He can't open himself, his court, his family up to his enemies. He is a spy but he is well known and his shadows make him totally identifiable to everyone. In his head, everyone is a potential enemy. He and his court are targets every second of every day. Mor and Elain are both already attached to his family in ways that allowed him to trust that they wouldn't use him to hurt his court/family. So, what if it wasn't the person he longed for as much but the security, in those cases. It could also, partially, explain an obsession with the mate bond since a mate would be more loyal. And guess who in SF now has those types of connections with his court and family? Gwyn has already shown she was willing to sacrifice her life for Nesta. NC saved her from Sangravah and protected her in the library. She is a warrior. An equal that has the same loyalties he has and will fight for them.
It would also explain why Mor said he had lovers but was private with them. He keeps them separate from the IC to keep them from gaining knowledge that they could use to hurt them.
