So much desire...

to clean to paint the trim in the house to shop to do stuff with my kids to cook to blog to budget to plan

So little energy.

I started taking iron, and sometimes it seems to help. Sometimes it does not seem to help.

I go easy on myself, I let myself rest. Sometimes Kyle is able to give me an hour or two of alone time...and I think that it will help...but then I get to the end of my alone time, or the end of my rest time, and I'm not refreshed. I'm not ready to rejoin the world at the end of it.

Is my need for rest so great that I just can't get enough?

Or is this like a first law of motion thing? A body at rest will remain at rest, a body in motion will remain in motion...Do I just need to keep moving?

I don't know.

I do know that the house is a mess and cleaning it up would make me feel better about myself.

 - I think people don't know how big pregnant women get. I feel like every time someone asks me when I'm due, they expect me to check the time and say something like, "Right now! Right this very minute!" and when I say September, they just raise their eyebrows like "good luck, lady!" One of my coworkers is due one week ahead of me, though, and we're about the same size, belly-wise. On the other hand, she's quite a bit shorter than me. On the other hand, she probably has smaller babies. ANYWAY. I really don't think I'm *that* big. I just have these long, skinny limbs that throw off my proportions, ahaha...ha...

 - This has been a pretty productive week or two for me at work, although I still have no energy by the time I get home.

 - Haven't really done anything to prepare yet. I don't even have a list.

 - I did manage to find a used Hypnobabies course, yay. I'm just waiting for Kyle to read me the "Bubble of Peace" script so I can move on to the first lesson. I'd like to involve him more this time. Last time, I did it all myself, and I pushed him away during labor. Maybe I'm the type of gal who needs to labor alone, but it's worth a shot, right? Plus, it seems like he might enjoy learning how to "hypnotize" me (cue spooky music). Finally, all his dreams will come true when he has me under his spell...jk.

I've got names on my mind 24/7 these days. I think I've read every name there is, and I don't feel a special fondness for any one of them.

I would try the wait-and-see approach, but we did that with Adelaide, and I didn't like the pressure of choosing a name in the hospital. I at least want options.

But right now, all I see are roadblocks.

I want a name that is not too long, not too weird but not commonplace, not too popular but not unheard of, not too girly but not androgynous, has a good nickname, and is not the same or similar to our (combined) 7 siblings or 17 nephews and nieces, And I have mixed feelings about whether or not it should start with an A.

Let's look at the profiles of Adelaide and August:

 - Popular names in the 1880s  - Slightly unisex (I've heard of a male Adelaide and a female August) but typically identified with their gender  - Start with A (again, not sure whether to stick with this or ditch it)  - Royal meanings/history: "noble" and "majestic" (not required, but I don't want the third one to have a lame meaning like Eloise "wide" or Claudia "lame")  - Likable nicknames: Addie/Laidey, Augie/Gus

I tend to like nature names (Rose, Marigold, Hazel, Juniper, Evergreen, Birdie, Rosemary, Posey, Poppy, Violet, Daisy, and Zinnia are all on my list), but I don't love that their meanings are so...well...literal.

Looking at the 1880s list, I like Alice, Ella, Mabel, Cora, Josephine, Elsie, Eleanor, Eliza, Beatrice, Esther, and Winnie, but I don't feel a spark for any of them, and some (the El- names) clash with our niece Ellie (Elizabeth).

Twenty six weeks, and the belly is in full swing. This has been the first week when it has gotten in the way, like when I sit on the couch and it presses up into my ribs. I'm beginning to wonder how this is going to go with 14 weeks still ahead...

I recall being much more active during my first two pregnancies. Or at least I got out of the house more. Running errands or going for walks used to be a treat, but now leaving the house feels like such a chore.

I don't like to go on long walks like I used to, maybe because pushing a stroller with two kids is so much harder than one? And the alternative – having one or both kids walk – is just as difficult, as they both like to jump on rocks and balance on curbs and run ahead or lag behind, and at least one of them has no regard for cars or safety or fellow pedestrians.

Has it really been a month since I last updated?

Here's a recap of the past few weeks:

 - Feeling lots of kicks

 - So done with work and housework and being responsible for anything, including blog updates and my children

 - Feeling not too big, until I take a picture of myself

 - Combing Craigslist for a used Hypnobabies course (I have the recordings but not the workbook)

 - Made myself about a gallon of RRL tea, but can't bring myself to drink it

 - Debating whether to do cloth or disposable...leaning towards cloth flats for (hopefully) easier washing compared to prefolds...Augie is in disposables now after two years of prefolds. I hate throwing away diapers, but I never felt like I was able to get a great washing system down, even after two years. Bleach helped, but it thrashed the diapers. Let me tell you, there are few things worse than researching cloth diaper washing methods. It's up there with trying to diagnose skin rashes and car problems.

 - No names yet

Me: September.

Man: First?

Me: Twelfth.

Man: THIS IS YOUR 12th BABY?!

 - Working full time, taking care of two kids = little time for reflection

 - Baby's kicking fairly often these days

 - Looking forward to finding out the gender on Friday (keeping my fingers crossed that the baby's legs will not be)

 - Not sure how people wait 40 weeks to find out. More power to them.

the lady behind you at the grocery store asks you, "Aw, is this your first baby?"

 - Had a doctor's appointment today. I parked at 10:35 and was back in my car at 10:45.

 - Dr. Speedy was able to find the baby's heartbeat with the doppler this time, and I got to hear it for approximately three seconds. (First two seconds were taken up with me asking, "Is that the heartbeat?")

 - Having a super fast doctor is actually quite convenient. I know I can leave work and be back within half an hour, which means that I don't really need to mention that I'm going anywhere.

 - I keep postponing when I'll tell my coworkers that I'm pregnant. Just one more doctor's appointment, I tell myself. My time is running out, though. I ran into one of my teammates at Target the other day when I was not hiding my belly. And I'm definitely running out of clothing options. Maybe I'll say something on Monday.

 - I fear that I'll tell my coworkers, and they'll be excited for me, and then I'll get bad news, and they'll be sad for me.

 - Kyle says it's time to stop worrying. I suppose he's right.

On the outside:  - Belly's getting too big to hide, but still not clearly pregnant  - Wore maternity pants for he first time. Big but comfy.  - Wore a jacket all day today because I didn't want anyone at work to ask if I'm pregnant — and somebody would.