disxillusixnedâ:
Her words did little to ease his mind. On one hand James knew well enough that Remus could easily take care of himself, while on the other he couldnât help but feel responsible for him as if his troubled life was his to take care of. And on the third hand he had already asked Remus and received an aswer. Deep in his thoughts â he sighed heavily, deciding to let go of the matter for now. Remus was an adult and apparently he was well enough to play James like a fiddle.Â
âThatâs part of what I meant. I mean we knew something was problably going to happen. I just wish nothing did.â It was his turn to lean closer to her, as his words no matter how vague could still point out clues that they should not. Though he was just as aware of their proximity as of the seriousness of their chosen topics â looking directly at her he could count all of her lashes and he was so tempted to do it, but after so many years of pinning after her and knowing that they are most likely forever going tostay friends, he wanted to be respectful â make sure there was no visible sign of his affection that could ever make her uncomfortable.Â
Still, heâd much rather have them remain leaning towards each other. But she had moved away and he took that as a signal to mirror her action. âWell, the Ministry went into a usual dissarray so I had spent the day running around. You know on official business.â As he added the last sentence, he winked at her sugestively as he simply meant that he had gotten no missions from the Order regarding the murders, but then why would he when they had charged so many others with it. Clearing his throat he added, âhave you seen Dirk Creswell recently?â Concert easily discernible in his voice.Â
She was fairly content to be near him as she was, but at the same time everything felt a little disconnected. As much as she wanted to slide across and play the doting girlfriend ( she wasnât yet, and maybe would never be, it depended on the mood of a day ) she knew that it wasnât what was necessary at that moment, and she wasnât keen on sending mixed signals. It wasnât that she wasnât into James, far from it, but she had an independent streak in her that wanted to deny her attachment for as long as possible.
As they spoke of business, it put her at ease, but at the same time she reached out to brush her fingers faintly â briefly â against the back of his hand, offering him an apologetic smile, âHey, I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure Remus is always safe when heâs with me. I adore him as much as you do, you know.â
Part of her knew that wasnât his concern, but at the same time the colour that had flushed to her face had caused a bit of a secondary disconnect in her mind. James made her feel things she wasnât entirely sure she wanted to feel, and as much as that was fine in general, she wanted to shift that subject to something they both had some semblance of control over: the offer to protect their friends.
At the mention of Dirk, she gave a grim expression and nodded, âAye, earlier actually. Heâd mentioned running into you but I didnât want to pry in case it was something more personal than... I was able to talk about.â
Dirkâs business was as much his own as she could admit. She knew James wouldnât betray her and go tell Dirk that she had admitted to talking to him, but at the same time she didnât want to dig into that particular subject just in case, â... Iâm worried about him, James.â
So rarely did she use his name like that, and her eyes fell to her hands and she became still and silent, an oddity for the young Lily Evans.











