Ali In Progress

What it did for me: It controlled the food noise and cravings. I had no problem choosing healthy options because I didn’t really crave anything specifically. It made me feel much more control of my choices and my life. It has truly been a struggle for so many years that it felt great to not have to think about food all the time. It jump started my weight loss and I desperately needed that push. It also kept me broke. Those shots are not cheap:). I did save a lot of money on food and do a crazy breakdown own that later. Fast food and convenient food is not cheap.

What it did not do for me: It didn’t make me stop worrying about the process. I still had thoughts of “what happens when it doesn’t work?” It also didn’t make me completely stop thinking about food. I had moments when I just missed comfort food. I controlled the thoughts but they were still there. It didn’t stop me from over-eating. It didn’t happen often, but sometimes I ate too much…it was just eating too much healthier food. I still struggle with portion control. Some people don’t. I am not one of those people.

What now?? I’ve been off the medication for three weeks. I don’t struggle with the cravings. I haven’t had the food noises rushing back. I’m hoping some of the habits I was able to establish will stick. I’m working hard at it. I meal prep and buy only what I will eat in a week. I’ve made a rule about only shopping for food once a week. If I want something else, I have to meal plan for it for the next week. I’m also drinking a lot of water. I have a weight loss coach who has lost over 100 pounds himself. It’s been good for me to have someone helping me who understands binging. I get weekly homework which is designed to build on habits over time. So far so good. 56 pounds down but 90 more to go. I’m taking it 10 pounds at a time and that feels less overwhelming. I am going to try to journal regularly. My intentions were good back in March, but I didn’t realize how confusing this whole thing would be in the beginning. For now, here is a progress pic from last week. It is subtle and the biggest difference is that it’s the same tee shirt, but I don’t have to stretch it out when I get it out of the dryer now. :)

To understand the present, I 've had to come to understand the past. I've been struggling to lose weight for years. I have been on every weight loss plan there is. Just to name a few: weight watchers, keto, paleo, low calorie, etc. Not to mention the "MLM" type diets like optavia. I honestly can't remember them all. I've always been looking for the next great thing.

It has taken a long time to accept the truth about my eating habits. Denial is a strong thing. As a hospice social worker, I should know this, and do know this first hand. I don't know how many times, I've said to myself and to others, " i don't really eat a lot, I just eat the wrong things." In my mind, that is what I needed to find a solution for, but I was really lying to myself. The truth is, I am a binge eater. I do eat the wrong things, but I eat the wrong things in mass quantities. I will share more about that on another post.

It's difficult to describe binge eating, unless you are a binge eater. In future posts, I intend to try. As for mounjaro, I know weight loss drugs are controversial, and I know all the arguments (agian, more in future posts). I've been taking the shots for 3 weeks and I've noticed some great results, but not miraculous. Weight loss takes work. Your mindset has to change, and it is for the long haul.