Too Much Addictions

“Look how pretty my notes are!! Too bad I’ll never study them”

“I might look fine in class but I’m dying inside" 

“I’ve never seen frozen and at this point i’m afraid to" 

“when the professor shows up I’m just gonna get up, make eye contact, and leave”

 ”shut the fuck up and eat your shitty frosted flakes”

 ”Is it acceptable to throw myself out the window after we take this exam”

“I need more gay people in my life I’m suffocating in straights”

 ”I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die”

“why the fuck would i pay 5 dollars for a grilled cheese? oh wait they’re delivering them? ok buy 3”

“i feel like a child but i look like an adult and i think it throws a lot of people off”

“yo look at this dog! i want this dog. this dog is straight g”

“I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian” 

“I’VE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE OKAY”

“instead of studying art we should MAKE ART WITH OUR BODIES”

•"I lunge when I’m excited”

•"just because I smoke doesn’t mean I’ll give you lung cancer.“

“I once beat someone with his own leg.”

“Dude, you’re confusing the Civil War for the Revolution again.”

“I keep stealing lines from this one page story about a man and his stapler.”

“I am going to become an ocean lumberjack.”

“You forgot a damn door!”

“Apparently someone got arrested for throwing bagels yesterday.”

Comparing Pets