Sean Kinnney’s sister posted this on Facebook about Layne Staley.
A message from a long time friend of Layne's. It does not matter that the friend did not sign their name at the end of this message...it only makes it more clear that this person was a TRUE friend to Layne.
Some people have to step on others to feel good about
themselves. Others
think money is the answer to all things. Layne would be laughing
that anyone
is even talking about him and glad that those full of anger have
a place to
spew it out. Maybe if they shit it all out of their system they
will have
only good left in them, one can only hope.
Labeling Layne a junkie is as ridiculous as calling someone Big
Nose Joe or
Straight Haired Mary, and those of you who have to do it look in
the mirror
and tell me you don't see faults. Layne wasn't a Rockstar, he
was a human
being with the same human feelings we all have about ourselves.
He also had
the same insecurities. People who don't know you saying they
love you
doesn't change how you perceive yourself, because the bottom
line is you
know the truth. Those talking about him don't even know him.
Layne had a disease he tried desperately to rid himself of and
wished he
didn't have. Would you be so cruel to someone who had cancer?
You don't just
walk away from an addiction. If it's so easy, I challenge anyone
to give up
something as simple as sugar/high fructose corn syrup. I bet
they couldn't
even for one week; it's in everything: bread, mayonnaise, fruit
juice etc.
Until you've walked in those shoes........
As far as having the resources to get off it, there are far more
sick fucks
out there that wanted to get close to him by mailing him drugs,
and putting
them in his pocket when he'd go out, or stalking him than
friends and
family. Let me tell you he had a ton of those. To protect him
from those
people meant a lifestyle where your full time job was to
baby-sit the
situation. Who can pay their bills and live a normal life
protecting someone
else 24/7?
Layne was a beautiful sensitive man that would do anything for
anyone. He
loved everyone and truly appreciated that people dug him, dug
the band and
dug the music. The world is an uglier place without his
kindness,his warmth,
his great sense of humor, and his fun. Layne never accepted the
title of
Rockstar. He was just easygoing, approachable Layne. He thought
it was weird
people would want his autograph and people were down right rude
trying to
get it. While he was out to dinner or even going to the
bathroom. Being
successful doesn't allow people to have the right to do that.
What happened
to common courtesy? Yet he would oblige, smile and be friendly.
Layne didn't think of himself as a great artist. He was just a
man that
loved art, and I can say one of the most artistic people ever.
He could do
anything that involved creating art and do it extraordinarily
well.
I remember him talking to Kurt once about "how do you react to
the person
acting like your best friend that used to make your life pure
hell when you
were in school, then were too nice to tell them to fuck off?"
Instead they'd
be nice and let it eat them up inside.
Layne lost the love of his life 6 years ago; people would
actually show up
at the hospital with heroin for her in hopes of seeing him. Fans
even showed
up to her funeral! She too couldn't get away from the harassing
dealers and
on many occasions would have to hide in their house because
dealers or fans
with drugs would sit out front and stalk the place relentlessly.
Not for 20
minutes, not for an hour, we're talking: camping out, sleeping
in their
cars, sitting on the porch, and banging on the windows. Tell me
how you quit
an addiction when it's put in your face everywhere you turn?
Think of all
the freedoms you have, like going to the grocery store, going to
get gas,
going anywhere, which he didn't have.
You know how many people pretended to want to help him and ended
up stealing
from him? Not just things like money, his credit cards, music
equipment,
etc. but personal stuff he couldn't replace? Like pictures of
him and Demri,
or him and his friends, or him and his family. Those were
commodities to
people, to him they were valued treasures. Layne was never a
person to those
people, he was just a badge where people with low self-esteem
could brag
they knew him. In his altered sense and with his kind heart he
would never
get it until it was too late. When he did, he never did anything
harsh, like
press-charges. Those people robbed him of his girlfriend, robbed
him of his
family, and robbed him of his friends. Who out there would like
to go
through life wondering if everyone in your life has ulterior
motives and
never really knowing? The disappointment of how you'd feel when
you
discovered, one after another after another, had listened to
your innermost
personal thoughts, pretended to be a friend and wasn't.
He couldn't go back to music because heroin ravished his body
and it made
him feel more insecure and more like a target. Because of those
that feel
the need to put someone else down to feel good about themselves.
He spent
the last 5 years existing, not living. The Layne that died
wasn't the beam
of light he was to everyone that knew him. Although it was in
there
somewhere. Or the jokester that thought that farts were funny
and that would
laugh when Demri would geek out on a song or a commercial. He
didn't have a
home that was an open door to everyone like he did when he lived
on
Eastlake. The pad you could crash at after getting a little to
drunk at the
Off-Ramp or partying at the Son of Man house or El Steiner's.
Those were the
days he loved; a surprise birthday party at Naf's that Demri put
together
and his friends from War Babies, My Sister's Machine, Sweet
Water, Love on
Ice, etc. Playing, dressing up as a peasant girl for Halloween,
anything
chocolate, hanging out in the summer. It takes more than wanting
that back
for it to happen.
So they can say what they want, because the bottom line is it
doesn't matter
to those of us who knew and loved Layne and it certainly
wouldn't to Layne.
I doubt they matter to anyone in their lives and that's what's
really sad.
That they have to, like the drug addict harassers, latch on to
him in anyway
they can to feel like they got a piece of him and like they've
touched
greatness. What's even sadder is it's their loss because they
don't have a
person in their lives that would go to any lengths to put a
smile on their
face, do something for them, say nice things about them,
compliment them, or
make them feel good about themselves. Someone who would tell you
how much
value you had to him and to his life. All of us who knew him and
Demri could
go the rest of our lives as hermits with all the positivity they
passed on
to us because no one would be so lucky to get that in one
lifetime, let
alone from just 2 people.
I am glad he's not suffering anymore and I have no doubt Demri's
more than
happy to have him back. I am sure she's the Hostess with the
Mostest and has
made a home for everyone. With Andy, Shannon and Kurt who shared
her
birthday. With the recent death of one of her brothers, who died
in a car
crash last month. I'm positive, being the social butterfly she
is, everyone
in music is at their pad and they're just waiting for the rest
of us they
loved, and who loved them back, to arrive. Poor Layne has gone
back to being
the guy that everyone says, "Oh you're the guy that's Demri's
boyfriend";
with her being the celebrity in the family like it was when they
were first
dating.
Though I knew it would end this way, I refuse to forget the way
he was.
His name was Layne Elmer.
He liked wood shop and music.
He was a drummer first, then a singer.
He smoked some pot and popped cross tops.
He sang Metallica and Mercyful Fate covers in spandex and big
hair.
Even though he changed his last name, I always called him Elmer.
Even though he made it big, he always made time to visit with me
at shows.
Even though we didn't keep close contact, we always asked about
each others
families.
Even though he was famous, he acted like he wasn't.
Even though Layne Staley is a "God" or "Legend" to his fans, He
will always
be Layne Elmer to me.
