♡◦◌✣..〘 Alice 〙..✣◌◦♡

After spending the day fighting off Gantu’s robots, scavenging for food, and exploring the island, the boys rest for a bit in an old cottage they found. Lilia wants to take the opportunity to spruce up the cottage and make it more resort-like while they’re enjoying this “vacation”, and Riddle and Jack are both surprised and a bit peeved to hear him say this.

Riddle: Don’t you want to find a way off this island as soon as possible, Lilia Senpai? Malleus Senpai, Silver, and Sebek… Everyone at Diasomnia must be worried sick about you right now. I should think you’d want to assuage their concerns a tad bit faster!

Lilia: …Thing is, I trust them.

Riddle: You trust them?

Lilia: Mm-hmm. Knowing them, no doubt they understand I’m safe and sound and having a good time right now. Malleus and the others know I’m not the type of guy who’d get in a pickle over something as trivial as this. And that’s because they know me very, very well – just like family!

(snipped)

Lilia: It’s truly wonderful having people in your life who trust you and wish the best for you - and for whom you do the same in return - no matter how far apart you may be.

When you take this dialogue and look at in isolation of this event, then it’s a wonderful thing to hear Lilia say. He trusts his boys and they trust him - because they’re family, and that’s what families do. It’s always great to hear the characters themselves acknowledge their strong bonds with each other, and I thought it was really cute how Stitch got so happy to hear Lilia talking about his Ohana.

But when you take what he said and consider the broader story of Twisted Wonderland (vignettes and events, included), and you consider other things he’s said and done in the past… This dialogue just hurts.

There’s been small moments here and there that made me think Lilia has kind of an unhealthy(?) or warped(?) view of love. I’m not sure what the best word for it is, but I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like people worrying over him, he doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness, and he really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak.  Additionally, he seems to value himself very little – he doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger, or that people would be happy getting pictures of him, or that his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much. I’ll go ahead and put examples for each point so you all can understand better what I’m trying to say.

He doesn’t like people worrying about him

We can see this partly from the quote this whole post is based on, as well as from Book 7.

Based on his conversation with Riddle, Lilia’s way of thinking appears to be:

If someone trusts me -> that means they wouldn’t worry about me

As well as:

If someone worries about me -> that means they don’t trust me

But we do worry about the people we love and care about, don’t we? We worry about our spouses getting home safely from a business trip, and our kids making friends at school, and our friends acing the interview they’ve been practicing for because we love them, don’t we? And because we want the best for them. But it doesn’t seem like Lilia thinks the same way.

And to add onto this point, it’s very clear the boys do worry about Lilia a lot, contrary to what Lilia claims. Due to Lilia’s departure, Malleus brought a snowstorm to the island in his sadness, Silver considered dropping out of school and leaving with his father, only to end up breaking down and crying in front of their crown prince of all people, and Sebek used his one wish to make Lilia be healthy and have him stay with Silver forever. They were all worried terribly about him in their own ways, but it doesn’t seem like Lilia ever noticed (or maybe he did, and just didn’t want to bring it up for some reason. Who knows.)

At any rate, he also gets mad (well, more like tsundere lol) at Silver when the boy was on the verge of tears after Lilia took a nasty hit for him. (I know this exchange occurred with General Vanrouge, and he was quite the asshole back then, but he’s still retained that dislike for people worrying over him.)

Lilia: Oh, would you quit it with the sniveling. I drank the potion, didn’t I? I just to rest for a little bit, and then I’ll be good as new.

He doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness

He exhibits his distaste of sappiness in Book 7 and the Welcome to Tsumsted Wonderland 2 event. In the latter, when everyone is saying goodbye to their tsums, he mentions he doesn’t like the gloomy atmosphere. He wants goodbyes to be happy (and most likely, free of any emotional weight). The same can be said in Book 7, when he wholeheartedly agrees to the going away party the students wanted to put on for him, as well as when Silver mentions his father had wanted them all to send him off with a smile. I’m not sure if Lilia just doesn’t enjoy people getting serious with their emotions towards him, or if he doesn’t like seeing it in general. It gives me Macho Man (tm) vibes, kind of? Like, “don’t let people see you cry and feel sad because then you look weak” kind of thing but idk.

Lilia: Farewells are certainly sorrowful, but I hate leaving things on such a gloomy note. Let’s keep our chins up until the end. Tsum, your ability to surprise others was exceptional, and you made today so much fun. So long!

He really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak

There’s still a lot of loose ends to be resolved in Book 7, one of them being the full extent of Lilia’s motives for wanting to leave so suddenly. It does seem to be he’s telling the truth that his magic ran out early, since he couldn’t muster up enough strength to fight back against Malleus when he was about to Overblot, but we don’t know if the real reason for that is just because he “went a little to wild” in his youth, like he claimed, or if something else caused his magic to deplete so prematurely. But we did hear him reveal a little bit of his motives when he was talking to Floyd at the party.

Floyd was dismayed he never got a chance to fight Lilia, and he wished he could’ve seen Lilia go all out at least once. When he asks Lilia why he’s dropping out, Lilia says under his breathe that he didn’t want “them” to see him so weak.

Lilia (whispering to himself): …It’s because I didn’t want them to see me so feeble.

Regardless of why his magic ran out and why he wants to go the Land of Red Dragons of all places, we know part of the reason for his departure is because he doesn’t want Malleus and the others to see how far he’d fallen from his former military glory. (sidebar: I have a feeling he thought he’d be a burden on Silver and co. with him losing his magic, and he was trying to leave so quickly to escape his shame towards his rapid loss of strength and independence (I imagine since he’s a magical being who comes from a country that runs on magic, him losing his powers must feel very isolating and limiting, like he’s lost a lot of the control he used to have over his own life).)

He doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger

In Endless Halloween/Spectral Soiree, Lilia was surprised by how much Silver and the others had been worrying about him and Malleus when they disappeared. Interestingly, even though Lilia is the one that Silver was the most relieved to see (it’s hard to tell with the live 2d models, but it looked like he went up to hug? Lilia and Lilia slapped his hand away), Lilia later says “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about us.” (referring to himself and the others involved with the party shenanigans).

(I am aware they changed this line to “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about me” In TWST EN, but I’m just focusing on the JP version).

I just found it weird that even though Silver was very clearly worried about Lilia the most, Lilia kind of redirected Silver’s concern over from “Lilia” to “Lilia and everyone else”. Did it make him uncomfortable to hear Silver was that worried about him? I’m not sure, but it just stood out to me as being a little strange how he responded, and how surprised he was that his own son would get worried about him suddenly disappearing.

He didn’t think people would be happy getting pictures of him

At the end of Lilia’s Tamashina Mina vignette, Yuu stops by Diasomnia to give him some photos he’d taken of Lilia on their trip, and Sebek, Silver, and Malleus are delighted to see them, since it’s not often they get to see photos of Lilia. Lilia is surprised at how happy they are to receive those pictures of himself. But why wouldn’t they be happy? They love him and treasure him dearly, of course they’d be overjoyed to have pictures of him to remember him by. It’s like he thought they wouldn’t care about him that much, which is really bizarre, considering the whole “even if we’re not related by blood we’re still family” thing he told Malleus before.

Lilia: To think, you’d all be so delighted just to see some pictures of me. I never would’ve imagined you’d all react like this.

He didn’t think his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much

This relates back to what I mentioned in the first point, but there’s one scene that demonstrates this perfectly.

After Silver breaks down in front of Malleus, Malleus teleports both of them to Lilia’s going away party. All eyes should have been on Malleus with how strangely he was acting, but the first thing Lilia honed in on was that Silver had been crying. And not only that, but Lilia looked surprised that Silver had been crying. And why wouldn’t he cry? The one person who formed Silver’s entire world and sun and stars was about to leave him and go die all by himself on the other side of the planet. There is no reason Lilia should’ve been surprised at Silver’s tears, yet he was. And I gather that’s because he never thought the boy could ever possibly want to choose to stay by his side, to choose him over all the hopes and dreams he’d burdened on the poor child from the moment he could walk, to choose him over his real friends and his real family members.

I hope when Lilia “wakes up” from his dream, the first he does is ask Silver what he’d been crying about back at the party. And I pray to god they will actually talk things out and Lilia will finally apologize for how much of a complete idiot he’s been acting.

My headache’s coming back so to wrap this up quickly, my current understanding of Lilia Vanrouge is that he either doesn’t realize just how loved and cherished he is by his family members, or that he does realize it and just pretends not to. If it’s the latter, which is what I personally lean towards, I think he does this as a means to protect himself.

He’s already lost so many of his loved ones, and he very well may be putting up these walls around his heart and pushing away the people who love him just so he doesn’t have to get hurt again. We don’t know how he became an orphan, but his birth family either gave him up or passed away and left him behind. Even when Queen Maleficia took him in, he was always made the scapegoat for the princess’s schemes, and it sounded like he was brought up more as Levan and Mallenoa’s inferior than their equal. And then war struck their nation. And then his one best friend went missing and the other one probably gave up her life trying to protect the very child who'd go on to shatter the ice surrounding his wounded heart.

Perhaps with Malleus and Silver and Sebek now, he thought his best option would be to exit their lives before they had a chance to do the same to him, because he knew they would do the same to him. Everyone does.

As a final note, I still keep going to back to what he said in Cater’s Halloween vignette. I think this one line sums up his views of love better than I ever could:

“But the more precious a bond is, the more pain it can inflict.”

Leona had his arms crossed and his face was contorted into an unreadable frown. "Tsk, I'm not mad," he said, his voice as deep and calm as ever — yet, he exuded an aura that was so scary that no one aside from Ruggie dared to even look in his general direction.

Ruggie, fearless, began to laugh in the way he always did. "Leona, your ears are flattened," Ruggie cooed playfully as he poked at Leona's sides, drawing a few growls from the aggressive lion. Ruggie laughed louder when Leona bared his fangs at him, finally showing how irritated he really was. "You are mad~!"

Leona looked like he was about to pounce on Ruggie and tear the cackling hyena to shreds; still, Ruggie looked absolutely unbothered and carefree, which didn't sit well with Leona at all. Grabbing the hyena by his collar, the Savanaclaw dorm leader hissed, "I'll tear your throat out if you dare to spew such a lie again—"

Jack quickly stepped in, pushing Ruggie and Leona away from one another before one could kill the other. "Stop it, you two," Jack said gruffly.

"Well, I'm pretty happy with what Professor Crewel said!" Ruggie chimed while putting his hands behind his head, enjoying Jack's protection. Ruggie shot Leona a smug grin and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "He said a lot of nice things about me~"

"He was kind to me, too." Jack nodded sternly, but everyone could see the way his tail wagged back and forth at the speed of lightning; yet, no one really dared to comment on it. "But he's right. I'm not a lap-dog."

Ruggie let out a cackle. "You are when (Y/n) is around, though!"

Jack growled and shot his dorm leader a knowing look. "Leona, let's kill Ruggie," the wolf suggested.

Leona began to laugh in an evil way. "I'm in."

Azul, trying his best to keep up that professional businessman facade, was still as red as a tomato; his face was so hot that his glasses had begun to fog up, leaving him even more irritated than he already was. "How dare he say I'm unfit for dating (Y/n)!" he bellowed, his voice sounding unhinged with how it went up and down. The merman turned to Floyd and Jade, glaring at them. "You two, I understand! But me?! I'm— I'm just an innocent octopus!"

Jade rolled his eyes, very much amused by Azul's anger. "Sure," he said casually, brushing him off. "Just as how much Floyd is an angel."

"I am an angel!" Floyd cried out with a large pout on his face. He looked quite hurt — that was until a giant grin appeared on his lips. "An angel of death~"

Azul scoffed and flicked his wrist to wave the playful eel off, clearly not in a mood for jokes right now. Pushing his glasses up again, the octopus let out an exasperated breath. "Anyway," he muttered to Jade, "we need to think up something, so that he allows us to be with (Y/n)."

Jade nodded, humming in agreement. "What do you suggest we do?"

Azul rubbed his chin and began to think about how he could manipulate Crewel into allowing him and his friends to spend time with you. It wasn't an easy task with how stubborn and strict the professor was — but this was Azul we were talking about. Eventually, a little gasp escaped his lips and his gaze snapped upward to meet Jade's. "How quickly can you get me 101 puppies?" Azul asked with a giant grin on his lips.

"Easy." An eerie smile appeared on Jade's face as he bowed gracefully. "I'm one hell of an eel, after all."

Kalim had a little pout on his face as he ignored the chaos going on around him, the other boys either screaming or crying their souls out like dejected puppies. Kalim, a little bit disheartened, scratched the back of his neck and let out a small huff. "Jamil, what does he mean with me being naive?" he asked his servant, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Jamil quirked an eyebrow in surprise before simply replying, "You're easy to fool."

Kalim gasped. "I'm not easy to fool!" the dorm leader cried out loudly and shot Jamil a slightly angered look.

Jamil merely sighed while rubbing his eyes. "Your shoelaces are undone," he muttered under his breath.

"Oh, thanks for telling me!" Kalim chimed politely as he lowered his gaze to his shoes, even bending down to grab his shoelaces and tie them up again. Yet, his fingers weren't able to find strings; eventually, he found out that his footwear didn't even have shoelaces in the first place. Gasping, he shot up again to shoot Jamil a surprised look. "Wait— I'm wearing sandals!"

Vil looked slightly irked as he threw his hair over his shoulder. "If I dated (Y/n), I'd make sure to take good care of my potato," he said, scoffing. "Who does he think I am."

"Yes but—" Rook choked out, and he was practically jumping up and down in his place with how dramatically sad he seemed. He had his hand placed on his forehead and the other one limply hanging from his body. "Why won't the professor let me be with mon amour?! I'd treat (Y/n) like the sun!"

Epel shot Rook a sly grin. "Maybe that's the problem, Rook." The blond in question immediately gasped in utter horror at the small boy's remark, and he clutched his heart as if he was wounded. Rook sank into Vil's arms, who only reluctantly caught his vice dorm leader. Epel rolled his eyes and turned away from his two fellow dorm members to mutter to himself, "Also! Why does he say that I couldn't harm a fly?! I can very well harm— Jack or Leona!"

Vil clicked his tongue. "Rook, hold the potato back before he can injure himself."

Rook immediately rose to his feet and sauntered over to Epel. "Oui, Roi du Poison."

Idia's hair was flickering wildly due to how angry he was. "I don't have scurvy!" the boy hissed under his breath.

Ortho held a fire-extinguished ready should his big brother's feelings boil over for once. Sighing, the small boy shot Idia a slightly sceptical look. "But you do have an allergy to socialising," Ortho said so innocently that it didn't seem like an insult at all.

"Quiet, Ortho," Idia hissed and clasped his hand over Ortho's speaker, paranoidly looking at the door to the classroom. "You don't need to tell the professor more flaws about me."

"Possessive? Possessive?!" Malleus drawled angrily while his right eye twitching slightly. There was smoke coming out of the nostrils of his nose, and his eyes were glowing a bright green. "I'm not possessive! I just want to spend time with my Child of Man!"

Lilia floated up to calm his poor little baby; wrapping an arm around his shoulder, Lilia whispered, "Oh, my poor Malleus..." The dragon fae immediately buried his face in Lilia's shoulder to let out a long and heartwrenching sigh. Lilia merely shook his head, a giant smile on his lips. "Don't weep, Malleus... Smile, like me! The professor said I was mysterious, and being mysterious is nothing bad. So I'm really happy about that~!"

Malleus let out a little scoff, not really feeling better with how much Lilia was gloating about his success. The dorm leader slowly raised his gaze to look at the human boy peacefully sleeping while standing on his feet with only his torso leaning against Sebek. "Silver was one of the few who wasn't insulted..." Malleus muttered with a pout on his face, appearing like a small child. "You can consider yourself lucky, Silver..."

Silver woke up when Sebek nudged his shoulder to tell him that the young master had spoken to him. Sleepily rubbing his eyes, Silver croaked out, "Huh? What happened?" When his vision cleared up again, he gazed around the crowded corridor to find other students crying and weeping while other were complaining about something. Silver furrowed his eyebrows as he turned to his friends again. "Why are people yelling and crying?"

Sebek, with tears in his eyes, loudly barked, "I'm not yelling or crying!"

Meanwhile, the two occupants inside the classroom had ceased their conversation to instead listen in on the chaos that went on outside of the room. Crewel looked amused since the chaos outside was another proof of how all of them were rather intrusive on your privacy — you were much better off with him, anyway. No boyfriend needed if you had an amazing father.

Clicking your tongue, you muttered, "They're loud."