alex

my girl astrid becke needs female friends asap. like what do you mean you spend 15 years being groomed into a ruthless assasin with no attachments and then a sassy girl in a pink dress compliments your haircut and you fold like a wet paper. smiling and touching your hair awkwardly the second she walks away. first of all GAY second of all I need her to have a girlfriend yesterday I don't care platonically or romantically she needs women in her life

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

Asher planing a welcome party for Anton when?

i understand words and phrases. my dialogue is natural and in character. i know where the plot is going. my word count is reasonable. i am not scared of my document

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!