āThe tumor had a very complicated name. At first they told us three to five years, and that it wouldnāt be painful. We tried to keep living. We tried not to think about what could happen, and just function as normally as possible. It wasnāt so bad when we were together. But the alone moments were wrenching. When we were falling asleep. Or waking up. On the one hand itās dark and silent, and you feel calm. But thereās always this gaping hole of fear in front of you. During the day you can cover it up. You can get busy, and focus on work, and think about other things, but the moment the distraction passes, and itās night, and quiet again, the gaping hole returns. Itās always waiting for you, the fear that you might lose the most important thing in your life. Her name is Dobrochna, which means āThe Good One.ā And few names in Polish are so literal. She trusts everyone the moment she meets them. She wants to believe the best about the world. Sheās wise, sheās funny, sheās sexy. And we think alike: I finish her thoughts, she finishes mine. Weāre so much alike that it can sometimes seem like weāre a whole being. Whenever sheās not at home, if sheās presenting a paper at a conference or something, my life changes to functioning. I get up, I cook breakfast. If Iām bored I might go to a gallery or a concert. But to be honest, I donāt really enjoy these things. My only pleasure is that Iāll tell her about them later. I feel like nothing else could exist in the world, and the two of us could be fine. We move here, we move there, we visit new places, we meet new friends, and all of them are wonderful and wise and clever, but with all respect and love, they are temporary. I could survive without them. But I couldnāt survive without her.ā
(Warsaw, Poland)
āHumansā will be released in two days. Almost ten years in the making, the book features hundreds of stories from around the world. It includes about thirty stories, like this one, that were never featured on the blog. You can order a copy here: https://bit.ly/PreOrderHumansFB
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