"alexandra"

I fear you, I fear all of you. I fear the way you look at me like I’ve brought you your dreams. I fear that I know I can’t really give you them. I fear how you smile at every insignificant mannerism of mine. I fear the love in your eyes when you look at me. I fear the words that effortlessly fall from your lips, ‘I love you’, ‘you’re perfect for me’, you say. I fear how you believe so fully and recklessly in these words. I fear that I cannot say the same back with such ease. I fear how I imagined so many different lives for myself, and you? I fear how you did not belong in those. I fear the fact you are here now and I can’t do a thing about it. I fear that I will never allow myself to accept your love. I fear that I will not be able to reciprocate the adoration you have for me. I fear that you chose me. I fear how little I believe I deserve you. I fear that I cannot love like you can. I fear that you shall one day see, how much more you deserve. I fear that I won’t bring myself to let you in, to give me the love you carry in abundance. I fear that I can’t accept it. I fear that one day you will walk away, and I? I fear that I will let you, because that is the day I will have spent all those years preparing for. Instead of loving you, i fear you.

Bonny night

s h a m b l e s